I don't think you are horrible at all! You are a parent!!! I'm from a traditional home and I was the oldest child and bossy to my siblings sometimes and my Momma would tell me the same things you said to sd ...sometimes when I took it too far I'd get a whipping. It's hard being a parent. Keep your head up, don't feel too down on yourself, you are doing a great job!

but I would sit down with her now that the moment has past and explain to her what exactly she said, how she could have rephrased it, and let her know you know she was trying to help. That you appreciate her for taking the initiative in that regard, but how she went about it, the words she used was not appropriate and how would she like it if, say, an older cousin did that to her? Just explain that asking her little brother to put his toys away was enough, but don't order him to do such and such ever again, that's for me to decide.

My SS was getting a little bossy with his SD when she first started visiting with us, a natural tendency from the oldest child, and being that he is the oldest of four kids at his mother's, it was a natural tendency for him to do... because at his mother's, for years, he was allowed to be the 'parent' role. Before his mother remarried, she really put SS in an awkward role in her home. And being that she has sooo many issues herself, SS was often left to parent the other siblings...

Now, I don't think it's that way soo much, but when SD came into the picture here... all of a sudden, SS started to get a little bossy with her. Part of it was jealousy, he's not the only child here anymore, and the other was a natural tendency to 'look after' her, because she's younger. So, I just sat him down, explained that I appreciate him looking after her, but his approach was not appreciated. Explained how he should go about it, and if he feels the need to be bossy, he should come to me and I'll deal with it.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

She needs to grow up and get over it. I have to say the exact same thing to my own bio son, who thinks that since he is 9 1/2 he gets to tell his sister, who is 4 1/2, what to do. No, you're not horrible. And if this one thing is all it takes to make you horrible, them I'm horrible, too. When we have all five, there is always someone telling someone else what to do and we always have to intervene and remind all the kids that WE are the parents, NOT any one of THEM. Relax. And next time, yell louder. Sounds like she needs it.

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

SD got so used to parenting the other brother that it would show here also and I did the same thing, although SD didn't cry she just stopped that behavior. Don't feel bad, not one minute.

My BS14 sometimes tries to take a parent role with my BS almost 2. The other day he said to him 'do you want a smack??' I was dumbfounded!! I hailed BS14 and told him in no uncertain terms that you are his brother, not his father, don't you ever threaten to smack him!! We barely do that and if we do it is a soft tap on the fingers for touching something dangerous repeatedly, like the hot oven or a powerpoint.

So if I do that with my own bio kids, I don't think you are being mean or out of line.

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

Although I've been guilty a million times of letting skids walk all over me, the thing that always gets me to speak up is when they try to discipline my son or tell him what to do.
I've yelled at them both on a couple occasions, and told him that he doesn't have to listen to them. Once SS was going through my son's games and telling him he was wasting money by not playing them and I screamed "I bought those games, he can do whatever he wants with them, and you get out of his room!"
Once, when SS was taking everything my son had which used to belong to SS I said "Go ahead, whatever you take, I'll just buy him something better".......
I don't think you should feel bad at all, you didn't do anything wrong and she needed to be told that. It's not fair for your little one if you don't say anything, because then she might just do it more often.

I always get a kick out of hearing hubby say to my BS "your not the moma". 15 BS has a tend to tell 13 BD what to do and how to do it. When he says that BS drops his head, and we all laugh.

I know you didn't do anything wrong!

Hey Catch22 - I wish you would of told my 18 SD not to under no certain terms to hit!! That may have helped me out a few days ago.

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!