Dislike my 19 yr old stepson
Please help! My adult step son is ruining my relationship.
When I met my DH we both volunteered together and where both married. Long story short, we started dating and life between us was amazing! His children (at the time were young teens) had obvious issue with me from the start. I was not their Mom. Time went on, we moved in together and combined our families. My youngest is soon to 18 and loves her new step dad. His two are now 19 & 17. All three still live at home.
My 19 yr old step son is the WORSE. Over weight, lazy, extremely rude to me when his father isnt present. He openly tells me he hates me and dislikes me as a person. I have done nothing to this child to deserve the abuse I receive. He even tried to stop our wedding. I have made several attempts to make peace with no luck. When he walks in the room I feel my throat close, the tension so thick. He *tattles* on me always for things like,Do the dishes...clean your room (it smells and you can't see the floor). I have NO say in my home and feel like a square peg in my husband and his kids circle life. Outside my own daughter and the love I have for my husband I hate living with his son. His own mother wants nothing to do with him because of his lack of respect he has for her and women in general.
His daughter is Bi-Polar and we have our issues also, but I feel she is young and has mental illness I try to understand.
Please, I need advice. We got married last July and I couldn't be happier but my step son is ruining my life. Im not sure how much more I can take.
On another note:
He is in college..still lives with us and works part time. My DH makes excuses for him and his behavior and I feel doesn't stick up for me or my feelings.
You were both married when
You were both married when you started dating? As in, you each left your spouses to be together? If so, that could be his problem with you.
No. We were friends prior to
No. We were friends prior to both our divorces. I left a 16 yr abusive relationship, he left a 20 yr where she cheated on him. Wasn't till after we became more.
Oh, okay, I was hoping I read
Oh, okay, I was hoping I read that wrong!
I guess he's just an ass and so is your husband for allowing it.
really? Not you heariam
really?
Not you heariam
Your husband allows someone
Your husband allows someone to treat his wife this way? Yeah, he sounds like a catch. You married someone that isn't loyal to you. His son is a jerk but his dad isn't much better. Maybe counseling will help.
REcord SS when you are alone
REcord SS when you are alone and play it back to DH in front of SS..... that's what I would do..
I went through that D, blood
I went through that D, blood is thicker then water, you have no idea how these type of skids operate...
Aergia would tell SO I called her a bitch...... he would rip into me cause at that stage she was only 13... she called me a bitch, I simply said I know and walked away.... eventually I moved out of the house.... it got worse and worse..
in front of SO she's all ooo aaaa and as soon as he's not there the name calling and taunting starts, cause she knew Daddy would believe her, I would simply start recording without her knowing.... then she would cry and SO would buy what ever she wanted....
SO would simply start with me, saying he's never treated Deigma this way blablabla I waited till he was done...
played the recording (I saw Aergia standing around the corner listening) Aergia stormed in had a melt down and I simply walked out..... took a month before I even talked to SO again (yes and we work at the same place) Now it's sorted... I can call her a whore and SO will not believe her }:) }:) but I lso know she tries to record me lol... provoking me to say something nasty ... she wants to get back at me lol.... I'm not stupid and I make sure to tell her every time...
I'm not one off your friends and will not step down to your level go and play little girl... my look of disgust she can not record
You are feisty today! I like
You are feisty today! I like it!
You're also 100% correct.
i dont feel he is trying to
i dont feel he is trying to undermine me. I feel he has so much quilt surrounding his kids and their Mom he always gives them the benefit of doubt. I also know he rarely includes me into his conversations with his kids. He never punishes his kids either. He *Talks* with them. Once his daughter hit me from behind and outside a *Talking* nothing was done.
I know this all sounds bad and i acknowledge so. I left an abusive relationship for this. He babies his kids and dont hold them accountable for their actions towards me, which shows his lack of respect for myself. I have tried talking to him regarding these issues with little to no change. Im starting to fear it wont and only hold out hope when the kids move out it will be easier.
You all are right on many levels. I really am just lost on what to do next.
well, we are alone tonight.
well, we are alone tonight. There is going to be a tough conversation to be had. Either he controls his off spring and treats me as a equal / partner, or I will have to leave. Your right, I deserve that much.