left the drama!
Forums:
It has been a while since i posted. My soon to be exhusband would demand i delete anything i ever posted. I wanted to say than you to all of you. I used to post about my issues with sd and i finally figured out my issues were with him. He was cruel to my son and was very controlling towards me. On top of that he had such a strange relationship with his ex. Sone things can be fixed but i tried for a long time and felt the situation was abusive. Thank you for your support steptalk im a lot happier. 
Hi wake.up! Wow..I haven't
Hi wake.up!
Wow..I haven't been on this site for a while and decided to come by today to post almost the same thing u did. The only difference is that me and my husband are not officially over. I left the house and I'm now living alone with my son. I'm going back to school in a few weeks and looking for work.
Like u, I found out that my biggest problem with my SD was actually DHs fault. And to top it off, he was never there for my son. He demanded my attention and support towards SD, but when it comes time to do something for my son, he never did.
Now that we're living in separate places its actually getting worse. I thought our relationship needed a break from all the drama, all the arguing, all the problems, all the fights. Now he's just ignoring me. Barely talks to me.. always comes up with an excuse why he can't see me. All his days off are for SD. And if I say anything he's more than ready to throw in my face that I was the one who left home.
I have been much more at peace.. and my son is certainly not missing anything.
I'm gonna see how far this goes before I call it quits too. I have a feeling it won't take long..
Did u leave ur DH? Or are u guys still living together? What made u finally realize that the problem was him and not your sd?
Wish u a great day! Keep in touch!
I left him over 6 months ago.
I left him over 6 months ago. He kept trying to talk me into coming back. I would for a little while but always kept my place. I have learned that you can't change a persons personality. I was so tired of feeling so old. Im only 31 and the stress of my marriage left me completely drained. The anxiety i felt when his daughter came over got old. I also have one son who is not his and a daughter with him. Both very young. I didnt feel comfortable leaving my son with him bc he was so harsh. I finally went back to my place after being called horrible names. I had a line and it had been crossed. I feel like somewhere along the road with him i moved that line in the sand and i was being treated the way i had told myself i would never be treated. I had to get my confidence back and my standards. I moved out and filed for divorce.
Its only been a month since
Its only been a month since me and my son left.
And I completely understand about not being able to change someone's personality. What sucks to me is that he wasn't like this in the beginning. He used to spend so much time with me.. he was super nice to my son, used to take him to play basketball, they used to play video games together and so on. After we all moved in together, things started to change. He barely said hi to my son anymore. There was so much stress when SD came over that sometimes we would be fighting for a week because of something that happened when she was there. And for some reason me and my son were always the bad guys.
Leaving was not easy. A part of me kept hoping he would change back into the man I fell in love with. But I know I'm just fooling myself.
I admire that u did what was best for u and your kids. Its not easy to start over. I know that.
I also started to feel very old, even though I'm also in my 30s. But the stress and the emotional garbage I am still carrying because of him and this relationship, makes me feel tired and old.
I need to get my confidence back too. This is no way to live. And this relationship is pretty much on death row!
Hi whimzymomzy! I have to say
Hi whimzymomzy!
I have to say that leaving was not the easiest thing. But not the hardest either. I did it slowly. A lot of my stuff is still at his place and I go there when he's at work and bring little by little!
What made it easier for me was the fact that I already had somewhere to go. And I decided to go back to college, which was also near the new place. Me and my son hay already lived there, so it was just a matter of getting things back to the way they used to be before I moved in with DH.
Things in my relationship are extremely difficult. He has changed so much from the man he was when I married him. SD became one of the main reasons why we fight so much. I have learned that the problem is not so much her, but its him and the way he treats her and the way he expects us to be around her.
The truth is, that now I truly believe he never wanted a wife, he wanted a maid. Someone to keep his house cleaned, keep food on the table, keep hos clothes washed and when hos daughter is visiting, to take care of everything for her too.
I was just waiting for my son to finish the school year.. because I couldn't take anymore of that life.
We haven't broken up yet. But I don't feel like this relationship is going anywhere.
What about u? What's stopping u from leaving? And if u don't mind me asking.. why do u wanna leave?
Because my soon to be ex was
Because my soon to be ex was so controlling, i opened my own bank account and rented an apartment and moved out one day while he was at work. He would have never let me go if i had told him. Luckily i could afford it! It was really hard in the beginning but somewhere i got my strength back and i refuse to live my life being unhappy! I had thought about leavung for a very long time, and im glad i did while my kids are very young (one and three) we are currently looking at houses.
I honestly did it even more
I honestly did it even more for my kids. I didnt want them to grow up in an unhappy household and see their dad treat me that way, or see how he treated his first daughter so completely different. He would only cook breakfast when she was there and only wanted to do things when she was there. He even wanted the two little kids to share a room and for her to get her own room when she was only there 5 days out of the week! So glad i dont have to deal with that anymore.