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Would you keep your kids home if the other parent notified you that they have the flu?

wake.up's picture

Submitted by wake.up on Thu, 02/21/2019 - 3:44pm

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General Discussion

The flu hit our house hard. One of my own kids has missed the entire week of school. I just found out I also have the flu and so does DH. 

DH contacted BM to notify her of this mess at lunch time. BM still wants us to pick up the skids tonight at 6:00pm (they always stay overnight on Thursdays). This coming weekend is also NOT our weekend. 

She says she has a client meeting that she doesn't  want to reschedule and the skids received their flu shots. 

In my opinion this is extremely selfish of her. Not only do I feel horrible and don't have a ton of energy to take care of extra kids, the flu shot is not 100% effective. If I were her, I would reschedule the client meeting (you know, make a sacrifice for my kids as parents sometimes need to do) and keep my kids for the night so as not to take any chances. 

What would you do?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 02/21/2019 - 4:18pm

Not only do I feel horrible and don't have a ton of energy to take care of extra kids

No, no, no. YOU should not be taking care of the skids. This is on your DH. If BM wants to send the skids over tonight, then DH is responsible for them. If he is too sick to take care of HIS kids, then a babysitter should be hired.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 02/21/2019 - 4:22pm

Doesn't really matter what I think of the BM and her silliness of trying to send her healthy kid to your houseful of sick people.

The question is, why didn't your Dh just say no. No, he isn't picking up the kid. He's sick. No you are not picking up the kid. You're sick. No neither one of you feel up to caring for a kid overnight as your house is full of people with the flu. 

She can either reschedule her meeting or find a sitter.

What's the worse she can do about it? Toss a fit? Tell Dad how rotten he is? 

Oh, well. 

Take care of yourself. Have a quiet restful evening. BM will get over it. 

 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 02/21/2019 - 4:24pm

Is your DH the NCP?  Is he EOWE and one night a week?  If so, he should tell BM he is too sick to drive over there or to watch the children, and she will have to make other arrangements.  I don't think he's obligated to take his visitation time.  

If he picks up the kids, I would tell him that I'm not getting out of bed and the kids are all his.

And to answer your question, I would NEVER send my kids to a house with the flu, unless my house had the bubonic plague or something.

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Thu, 02/21/2019 - 5:22pm

He is not obligated to take the skids.  BM can stuff it.  Yes, you will get a lot of flack about how he is a parent and has to suck it up and all that.  My guess is that BM insisted on being the primary parent.  Careful what you wish for.  She can miss a meeting or get a sitter.  If she drops the skids off anyway, it is your DH's problem.  Not yours.  And when BM bitches and moans that her kids came back sick and now she has to really miss work to take care of them, not your problem again.  Only an idiot would be so short sighted as to worry about one night versus a week of sick kids.

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Thu, 02/21/2019 - 7:40pm

XH and I have that rule and it took some convincing of DH to enforce that rule with BM. Mostly because they were so uptight about getting their visitation that they would take or send a sick kid. And you don’t force people to go live with others who have the plague.

Except: I got chickenpox as an adult and DS went to XHs for the week even though he had been vaccinated, just in case, plus I wasn’t in any shape to take care of him. 

Nottakingit's picture

Submitted by Nottakingit on Fri, 02/22/2019 - 11:07pm

I definately wouldn't send my child to her dad's if there was flu or stomach virus there. And if my child was sick on her dad's weekend I'd rather keep her home(and her dad happily skips visitation any chance he gets anyway)

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 02/27/2019 - 4:58pm

As the NCP household... there is no obligation to take the Skids... ever. Much less on the demand of the CP.

NO! is a complete sentence.

stepmominhiding's picture

Submitted by stepmominhiding on Fri, 03/01/2019 - 5:26am

No,  i would never send my kid to the other parent KNOWING they have the flu! I would ask if they'd like to make up their time another weekend. But it sounds like it's not even yalls weekend! Id be furious that dh didn't stand his ground and say "F you find a baby sitter" and hang up.