Sounds silly but I refuse to have a different surname to my child. His sister has two children out of wedlock and the drama she has to go through every time she travels with her children is not something I wish to put myself through. I always told him that if I fell pregnant out of wedlock we would need to get married before the baby was born, and he agreed, which is why I came of the pill in the first place. I am Indian and come from a traditional Indian family and my values are traditional, it is just what I believe and want. As for him not wanting to get married, yes that is what he said, but it is not entirely true, he is the one who got all excited when he found the wedding suit he wanted and when him and his mum were discussing the restaurant menu he said how the wedding was starting to become real for him and can't wait to marry me.

As for leaving, Foxie, no way. I am having our first child and I'm not running away just because he and his family are being selfish. I don't like it and it annoys me so much that I came here to rant to get it out of my system and reduce stressing as it is not good for me or my baby. Yes I may be stupid in your eyes, and perhaps I am, but we are having a child together and this child deserves to have both a mother and father in its life. If I left I would leave the country and return to my own country, so he would hardly see the child and the child would hardly see him, for me, leaving is an absolute last resort. I love this man, enough to marry him and have a child with him, yes he stresses me out, yes I think he can be a selfish, self centred and stubborn man at times, but I'm no angel either. No relationship is perfect, but if we all ran away every time the OH did or said something we didn't like, we would all be running forever.

Having said that, I appreciate you both taking the time to read my post and comment Thank you.

Believe it or not Echo this is no frills court house (registry) wedding. The problem is I moved to this country to be with him 10 months ago, as I am not a national of this country there are shed loads of paperwork that the court needs before we can marry, that also need to be officially translated in to the language, and once that is all processed they need another 10 days to announce it publicly before we can get married, which is why the delay. We have our witnesses but as I want my sister to be a witness, and again she is not a national they need paperwork from her too. It's a nightmare. Almost wish we went to Vegas instead, but I am the oldest and my parents have waited a very long time to see me married so I don't want to take this away from them.

Yes, I am slowly seeing the control side of his family, and where he gets his stubbornness from, but trust me Echo, I will put my foot down about this baby. I have made it very clear to him. My wedding is one thing, and I can let that go, but my child is another matter altogether, and I will be damned if I let anyone tell me how to bring up my child. Another reason I'm not making such a huge fuss, is the stress it all involves. I'm stressed enough as it is, being pregnant for the first time in a foreign country where I don't speak the language very well, and none of that is good for the baby. It's just easier to compromise, even if it annoys me. Thanks for your comment Echo, I've read a lot of your comments on other posts and you usually give pretty sound advice, so thanks again.

OH already knows that if we don't get married the baby will be taking my last name. He didn't like the sound of that. His problem is he doesn't want to upset his mum as she is organising the whole wedding, but as I pointed out to him the only reason she is organising is because his sister wants the wedding up at her parents, instead of down near us. He is a stubborn man, and sometimes it is easier to give in to keep the peace than to argue, however I do feel like they are all taking the p*** and taking my compromising too far, but like I said, wedding I will bite my lip and go with it, but god help them if they try and interfere with my child's life. There is no wrath like that of a mothers!

Sounds like a good plan, but I really want to be married before the wedding and not after, maybe that is my stubbornness, or my family values, I really don't know.

Yes, I feel like I have compromised everything for him and his family over this wedding, but as a friend pointed out to me over lunch, that could work in my favour in the future. Not a game I wish to play, but needs must and all that, and that is the route I will go down if I have to for the sake of my child.

I love your first sentence, I never thought of it like that, and that is what I will say to him next time this comes up. Thanks.

As I said to Echo, wedding is one thing, my child is a different kettle of fish altogether, I know that may sound odd, but I know deep down whilst I may stand for crap, I will never take any crap when It involves my child. I've already put my foot down about things that have come up about the baby, and whilst no-one likes it, I have stood my ground. Even SD12 said she was going to name the child I said No, but was open to suggestions. OMG the names she gave were horrendous, even OH didn't like them, so yes I will put my foot down, that you can bet money on

Thanks StepAside, you're another poster who I think gives good advice.

You're right I won't back out, not because of his parents though I don't care, but for my parents and sister, they are too excited about this wedding and I don't want to disappoint them, especially as they have waited so long for me to get married.

I would never make him choose between them or me but I would make him put his foot down, and if he didn't I would. I guess I feel like my hands are tied at the moment because of the pregnancy and the stress I am going through and I don't want to stress more, but I guess only the future will tell. Thanks again for commenting