should ex's have counseling to help them parent
I am bent my husband who is having issues with his 11 yyr old said her therapist wanted the two ex 's to have one on one counseling. Shouldn't me and him have the counseling he is no longer with her. She said they both need to be on the same page. I am pissed. She is in my house and I deal with her more than he does. He can't make her even go to her room she runs to her mom down the street. I told him put her in her room. He can not put boundaries up my kids would go in a heart beat and not think twice even at 17.. what will he do when she is 16 if he can't control her ... I think I need to demand counseling and ask him not to waste his time with the ex wife. What would he think if I went to counseling with my ex.......especially knowing this woman is evil and manipulating and jealous. I am so sick of the Bull sxxt
Our county requires parents
Our county requires parents to attend co-parenting classes before a judge will issue a divorce. When BM and DH first split, they continued co-parenting therapy outside of that for about 3 months.
When DH and I met, and BM started her crazy antics again, they went BACK into therapy.
They do it for the kids. They are the parents. Not me. Not you. I don't get the impression this therapist is suggesting some sort of marriage counseling for a divorced couple; especially if those people are remarried to other people.
If your SD11 is having issues, it's important both of her parents are involved in the treatment, including therapy. That doesn't mean you should be excluded, especially if you are involved in her life and day-to-day routines.
Agreed.
Agreed.
Thanks for the responses I
Thanks for the responses I agree with the last blog...intimate behaviors should not be happening with exs. They are not a family and she is trying to control our household. Tells him what to do how to parent etc. Daughter is a piece of work sasses him so bad. When he calls her mom she rudely said oh are you calling mom why cuz you can handle your own problems. Also while talking to him said he needed to not be rude and listen to her! Also said he needed hearing aids and that all the worrds he was using were wrong. Anything to not do her homework. Then instead of going to her room she left went to her moms. She does as she pleases and her is a bad dad. Tells me what could I do she won't listen. This is hard to witness.
Thanks for the responses I
Thanks for the responses I agree with the last blog...intimate behaviors should not be happening with exs. They are not a family and she is trying to control our household. Tells him what to do how to parent etc. Daughter is a piece of work sasses him so bad. When he calls her mom she rudely said oh are you calling mom why cuz you can handle your own problems. Also while talking to him said he needed to not be rude and listen to her! Also said he needed hearing aids and that all the worrds he was using were wrong. Anything to not do her homework. Then instead of going to her room she left went to her moms. She does as she pleases and her is a bad dad. Tells me what could I do she won't listen. This is hard to witness.
I wish he would parent her
I wish he would parent her its hard to watch. I am an excellant mother with three excellntt results.. my kids are model citizens and think she is a case. Ignore her. Wish I could the way he let's her talk to him is crimina then he gets in a crap mood and it steals from our happiness. He is mean to me when I say one thing. Then complains to me. I told him I fear the knock at the door when she is 16 . She has no chores no rules no boundaries and in public is embarassing as she orders adults. No boundaries in public if I tell her anything its ignored to so I try and stay away from her.
Ideally? Mom, Dad and the
Ideally? Mom, Dad and the stepparent(s) should go through some sort of ca-parenting classes and/or counseling. I do think it would be helpful for Mom & Dad to first sort out their differences - or at least come to a middle ground - and then bring in the stepparent(s). The child should also be included at some point.
DH and BM went to
DH and BM went to co-parenting classes before we married. I guess the main topic was communication so when DH stopped answering every time she called BM had a fit and threw in DH's face that he wasn't co-parenting.
So now every time DH doesn't do what BM wants then that is what she throws in his face, "you are not communicating henceforth you are not co-parenting". Ughhh.
I guess it would depend on the couple. :?
I try to stay out of it he
I try to stay out of it he will get mad at me if I say stuff. When it was over I told him u are going to be sorry that your not controling her wait until its a bad subject yesterday it was just over an essay!
I talked to him and were
I talked to him and were going to have counseling and parenting classes he doesn't know what to do she is out of control. I have been staying out of it as much as possible but it affects my home. Using psychology as much as possible.
DH and Bm's mediator
DH and Bm's mediator recommended they go to parenting classes together. DH was like, ummm...no. There is NO co-parenting going on because their parenting styles are totally opposite and there's ZERO communication. BM's goal is to be in full control of everything that goes on in our home, and that's never going to happen. DH said, "If we couldn't commuicate and parent together when we were married, we sure as Hell aren't going to be able to do it now." It's too bad for the kids, but BM is a severe Borderline in complete denial that she has a problem. There is no cooperating with someone with her issues.
My boyfriend and his ex used
My boyfriend and his ex used to see a therapist once every few months to work out parenting issues and to try to be on the same page in raising their daughter. The few times it actually made a difference, it only lasted a short period of time before they were back to arguing over who was right and who could parent better. I really believe that some people just can't get along.