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what is an unfit mother

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 12:58am

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General Discussion

:jawdrop: so on what grounds do mothers loose custody? Is it OK to impede visitation by in front of the police refusing to send your child for visitation? How about if the mom does the 12 yr olds home work causing her to fail school? No food in the house? Permissive parenting? Mom sends child to spy on dad and his family take pictures of inside their home and then post on Facebook. How about the older pot smoking brother who is constantly getting high. And can't forget the older sister who is a stripper and pole dancer with lots of Facebook pictures and the 12 yr old is Facebook friends and lives with her. Shall I go on

MidwestStepmom's picture

Submitted by MidwestStepmom on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 3:49am

Not every stepmother has to be "disengaged". I'm also pretty sure OP was asking a question of when a mother will lose custody. Maybe she wanted advice because her and her husband want to seek action. I'm tired of reading all these post about how SM need to but out and "not thier child, not thier problem".

MidwestStepmom's picture

Submitted by MidwestStepmom on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 8:47am

Maybe you should not be so judgemental. There are all levels of SM on here and they can be involved (or not be involved) with the situation as much as they want. There are NO RULES to step talk that says who ever posts here cannot get involved, or hase to be disengaged, or needs to format thier questions better.

A sm can be involved in a legal battle if they feel it's the right thing for thier household. Get over it!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 01/20/2015 - 12:16pm

Yes, because instead of beating her head against the wall, she has realized that no matter what she does nothing will resolve issues with Fungus. The kid's problems are the parents' problems and not Sally's.

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:49am

are you a bio mom your reaction to my post read it clearly I am NOT handling just asking you for advice what people think daddy is doing something about it

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:50am

are you a bio mom your reaction to my post read it clearly I am NOT handling just asking you for advice what people think daddy is doing something about it

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:50am

are you a bio mom your reaction to my post read it clearly I am NOT handling just asking you for advice what people think daddy is doing something about it

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:50am

are you a bio mom your reaction to my post read it clearly I am NOT handling just asking you for advice what people think daddy is doing something about it

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:54am

Did I not mention she is my child I'm her stepmother she lives with me 50% of the time and as my dependent on my taxes therefore its all my business clearly on this website I see lots of bio moms on the defensive

MidwestStepmom's picture

Submitted by MidwestStepmom on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 8:51am

I'm a bio mom and a stepmom. I try not to get to involved with ss unless it's endangering him emotional, physically, or in academics. I will but in with my dh if any financial decisions are being made surrounding ss, because we share accounts.

There are a lot of bitter SMs on here that think there way is the only way and you need to jump on thier bandwagon. Just keep doing what is best for you.

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 4:34pm

:sick: hint joint taxes she's my dependent denying your step child is your child means nothing. If she lives in your house and you are married to her daddy that makes a family. Does not matter who supplies the eggs. WHAT ABOUT ADOPTIVE KIDS AND THOSE NOT THEIR PARENTS. SHe lives with your kids in one house and goes to bed every night IN YOUR HOUSE. You take her to school and you feed her and you do her homework and you tell her what to do. Your provide for her financially. Sorry i will argue all night with you about this! My husband had a baby with woman before he met me.I also has three babies with another man before he met me big deal. My kids are his kids his kids are my kids I don't agree with this he can worry about his kid thing. Any mother,stepmother or bio who thinks like this shame on them it's about the kids not you. I hope I piss anybody off who doesn't think like this because shame shame shame shame shame on you! Blend your families and quit whining.

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 7:38pm

ROFL!! Oh that's right, you're the one who's raising a tribe of non-etiquette throat punchers!

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 7:32pm

>>>it's about the kids not you<<<

Bwhahaha!!!! Actually, in my house it's all about me and the people I let live here.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Tue, 01/20/2015 - 7:13am

Back up the truck honey....

in the OP you state that one of the many reasons you want to take the child from her MOTHER (yes her MOTHER - the woman who birthed her - that aint you sweetie) is because the mother does her homework for her and hence the kid is failing school....

Now you state YOU do her homework?

My skids were a part of my family, but they were not/are not/will NEVER be MY kids. The only two parents who can claim parentage of those children are the two that were there at conception.

Adopted kids are different. There Bio Parents give up all their rights - they sign them away and the adoptive parents chose to take on that role. In the Step family situation marrying someone does not give you automatic parenting rights to their kids - I am pretty sure most bio parents would object to that! If my kids SM tried to claim my kids were hers I'd shoot her.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 4:03am

Seemingly it takes BM being an axe murdering, crack dealing, prostitute for them to loose custody. You may get lucky and get a family court judge who will bring the hammer down on her and shift custody to your SO though. To have any chance at change and improvement your SO will need to drag BM to court though.

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 6:00am

The bios mom oldest daughter came to us and said she wanted to testify worried about younger sisters environment so the daughter contact the lawyer and gave a sworn Testament about all the information listed here we just found out about the information and that she was the one who gave it and hopes that her dad wouldn't lose custodyI find it hard to believe that the courts would think drugs in the home are okay or being constantly around a prostitute is OK or that a mother should have full custody when she's raised a prostitute and allows drugs in a home I don't understand our system that's why I was asking you all I have full custody of my 3 kids just worried about my step daughter and I'm letting the lawyer handle it will use the 12 year olds inheritance to fight the mother in court it's worth it to give this little girl chance to not become a prostitute and a druggie

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:40am

yes this is for real after 8 long years of the same 50 50 custody 7 days on 7 days off daddy is now collecting retirement from by bio mom because she retired and was part of their divorce agreement No support was given either way previously now she's taking us to court taking away full custody for no reason so she can collect that money back she told her oldest daughter that come hell or high water he's not getting that money that's my money so she's using her daughter in a child custody battle to get it back meanwhile oldest daughter came forth to our journey and said no way bad environment our step brother smokes pot in his room and are sister is a stripper pole dancer in Hollywood and has it all over her facebook and is friends with 12 year old sister who sees it on a regular basis and since sister lives there she sees her on a regular basis all tattooed half dressed constantly high I personally with Daddy have been called by the police 3 times to pick up sister drunk behind the wheel not a good environment bio mom raised her and wants to raise youngest daughter good influence

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:46am

I just wonder what the courts are going to think about bio moms we have a stable family I have 3 kids ones in college a senior bound for college and a freshman in high school we sit down every night at the dinner table and our family home is kids structured even though we know all this is going on at moms house we thought we could balance her life but now that we have to go to court we feel its our obligation to go for primary hopefully to void this girl mimic in her older sister

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:46am

I just wonder what the courts are going to think about bio moms we have a stable family I have 3 kids ones in college a senior bound for college and a freshman in high school we sit down every night at the dinner table and our family home is kids structured even though we know all this is going on at moms house we thought we could balance her life but now that we have to go to court we feel its our obligation to go for primary hopefully to void this girl mimic in her older sister

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:46am

I just wonder what the courts are going to think about bio moms we have a stable family I have 3 kids ones in college a senior bound for college and a freshman in high school we sit down every night at the dinner table and our family home is kids structured even though we know all this is going on at moms house we thought we could balance her life but now that we have to go to court we feel its our obligation to go for primary hopefully to void this girl mimic in her older sister

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:46am

I just wonder what the courts are going to think about bio moms we have a stable family I have 3 kids ones in college a senior bound for college and a freshman in high school we sit down every night at the dinner table and our family home is kids structured even though we know all this is going on at moms house we thought we could balance her life but now that we have to go to court we feel its our obligation to go for primary hopefully to void this girl mimic in her older sister

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:46am

I just wonder what the courts are going to think about bio moms we have a stable family I have 3 kids ones in college a senior bound for college and a freshman in high school we sit down every night at the dinner table and our family home is kids structured even though we know all this is going on at moms house we thought we could balance her life but now that we have to go to court we feel its our obligation to go for primary hopefully to void this girl mimic in her older sister

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 5:47am

I just wonder what the courts are going to think about bio moms we have a stable family I have 3 kids ones in college a senior bound for college and a freshman in high school we sit down every night at the dinner table and our family home is kids structured even though we know all this is going on at moms house we thought we could balance her life but now that we have to go to court we feel its our obligation to go for primary hopefully to void this girl mimic in her older sister

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 6:03am

where already there little girls spies takes pictures inside my bedroom and sees her mother information constantly and she lies about daddy but regardless it's the right thing to do to protect this little girl

onthefence2's picture

Submitted by onthefence2 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 8:42am

Family court takes FOREVER. Why hasn't anyone called CPS to come out and check out the environment? Also, talk to teachers, counselors, anyone in "authority" who might have something to add and can testify on her behalf.

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Mon, 01/19/2015 - 9:20am

The oldest sister gave information about the second sister for the third sister safety

Glenda's picture

Submitted by Glenda on Tue, 01/20/2015 - 7:45am

Document document document. If she was in her dad's care and HE was providing this atmosphere, shed be gone in a second. With BM's it takes more work to get the kids back.

Although Im sure every one here knows that

Story makes me sad. Mother (and father) are going to suffer along with the children once the real world hits the unprepared or condemned to failure