Honest answer please
Forums:
Do you as a woman make more of an effort to look good when your ex husband or ex boyfriend comes to pick up your child?
If so what is the true reality of your reasons? It bothers me when my SO does it, but because of her past I don't ask any questions as I believe its a look at what you have lost power thing.. Or a look at what your never gonna get, kind of along the lines of women going out dressed up to the 9's but saying its for themselves when if they were honest it's to be looked at as it feeds their ego, which is fine btw as long as it stays at that.
I couldn't really say whats
I couldn't really say whats in her mind, as I have never been a "make up and hairdo" person at all. When I have met my exH I haven't bothered about my appearance, except the time it was my daughter's wedding!
However, I suspect that your partner just wants to be able to hold her head high when her ex comes round, to prove to him she is doing OK. I wouldn't read any more into it. Most women - I am probably the exception, need to take pride in their appearance.
I have the same feeling, I
I have the same feeling, I think I'm on edge because this guy is invading my holiday. And there is nothing I can do about it due to the child.
I'll just watch a movie to get over it and allow my partner to do then and over alone at the front door.
I agree with Kes. She's just
I agree with Kes. She's just letting him know she's doing well and she's happy. I can't see it going on forever.
Is he in a relationship? If
Is he in a relationship? If so, it may have nothing to do with him.
Read some of posts here. Some women just have to put other women down for their appearance ~ hair, makeup, clothes weight...
Maybe your SO is just trying to avoid that.
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I think that the women who do
I think that the women who do that as you described above do that for a few reasons:
1) They want attention/ego boost and it doesn't matter who it is from...
2) They want to show their Ex how good they still look or how much better they look now that they are no longer with their Ex, it could be to make them jealous or because they may want them back etc...
3) They want to show their Ex what they CAN'T/CAN have...
IMHO.
In the past when I actually gave a fuck I had no problem letting my Ex and his GF that he left me for see how hott I was and how good I looked. It definitely wasn't because I wanted him back, but was more to rub it in their lying, cheating, faces! It made me feel good for that moment to know that he was still looking and that she was jealous as hell knowing that eventhough he left me for her I was still going to be in his life no matter what! And because I looked hott too so she would always be wondering...just like she made me feel. Petty and immature, maybe, probably, BUT it felt good at the time!!! }:) I am sooo over it/him now and have been for years but it was worth it!!!
Been there, done that, don't
Been there, done that, don't give a shit what he thinks I look like.
I must admit I do try to look
I must admit I do try to look good when dropping my kids off at my ex's house.
Never in a million years would I want him back, for me the reason is to show him what a good thing he lost.
i think alot of women have
i think alot of women have their own different reasons. I do feel that more often than not, after a long while the whole makin sure she looks decent fades out.
I don't believe that it is because she wants him back. If that was the case there would be other signs too that she wants him back.
It does make us feel better if the ex knows (even if it is just through appearence) that we are doing a-okay! And if we look extra nice, that just means we are doing even that much better.
For some of us, (i think) no respectable woman wants to be that ex wife/girlfriend that people say, "whoa that chick he is with now is a step up."
I don't go out of my way to get extra extra gussied up, but i don't want to look like shit either.
I would just make sure to pay her compliments while she is getting ready. Maybe throw in a "i'm so lucky to have a woman that cares about her appearence." I would even tell her, if her ex has a new girl, "you are so much better looking than her."
^^This!!! LOL!! When my XH
^^This!!! LOL!!
When my XH and I were still "sharing" the kids and he actually used his visitation, I couldn't have cared LESS what I looked like when I saw him.
His opinion of me matters not!!
That man abused me and made me think I was nothing. Leaving him, I took my power back.
Yeah, I'm there with ya. I
Yeah, I'm there with ya. I don't care what my ex thinks and never did this sort of thing. Too many other things to worry about.