crazyness i hear you. I have a SD6 and when she goes to her BM house she turns in to the biggest Brat when she comes home. I want! and I wont! You can't make me! this is the crap we get so now I just ignore her, like today. She woke me up very early and she was told last night to play in her room when she woke up and not to make to much noise, well that went in one ear and out the other. So when I got up pretty pissed off id add and said to her, now thats 2 days you have woken me up very early so tomorrow I will get you up very early for school. And I will do that for a week because pay back is a bitch lol. So anyways she has been off ignoring me since I said that this morning and now as I am typing this to you she wants my attention and guess what, not happening. You need to show her who is boss. if she stomps her feet tell her to go away. If she says she wants to go to mums house tell her its not happening so get used to it or depending on your situation tell her fine... go! and then let her go. If DH is being too nice when she first gets there she will play on it the whole time and she has the power over the both of you. You guys are the parents, she is to do as you say not the other way around. Sorry this is long winded, I'm venting too because I know how you feel
I hope she stops her crap and the ex sounds like a real treat just like my DH ex, nothing but trailer trash!
I'm on your side

We had a lawyer tell us to take the phone as soon as SD would walk in the door and withhold until she leaves. Her mother knows our number if she needs to get in touch with us. There was alot of texting every little detail that we were doing.
Our DD can entertain herself. SD has never been able to.

I have a similar situation with an awful BM. However, she was so eager to be able to be her child's friend that she gave custody. She actually told us she like not having to discipline him and being able to have him just like her.

She is the cat's meow as far as SS14 is concerned. He thinks she is just wonderful. She 'understands' him. She likes what he likes.

Well, I'm sorry that your high school drop-out mother isn't here when you constantly fail to do your homework (65 missed assignments this year!) and that whenever I try to punish you for not doing your homework you call her up and she tells you how awful and mean I'm being and that she would NEVER be that way.

Good news is....
Now she thinks he's old enough that he won't be any work and she wants her best friend back. He's moving in with her (1,000 miles away) at the end of the school year. I CAN'T WAIT! She's going to quickly learn that a 14 year old without discipline is a ton of work.

The truth is that you are never going to be able to buy your SD's happiness. Stop trying. If she wants to be miserable everytime she visits, let her. Happiness is a CHOICE. It can not be bought or earned through the actions of others.

Let me start out by giving everyone a quick synopsis of my husband's road to becoming a divorced father of one. My husband served in the Marine Corp. during the time before, and shortly after 9/11. He married his ex in 1998 because she was previously married with a child with which I found out later that she was emailing my current husband when she was still married so that she could make sure she had someone to fall back on once she divorced her first husband. She was concerned about how she was going to take care of herself and her daughter after she left her husband. My husband told her he would help take care of her, and not to worry. Well, so she left her 1st husband, married my husband, moved in with her mom, sent my husband off to war, decided to get pregnant because she knew this marriage wasn't working out, began a friendship with a guy and his girlfriend across the street from her mom's house, began cheating on my husband with this guy soon after she gave birth to my husband's baby, attempted to talk my husband into re-enlisting in the service so she could have more time with her "neighbor" - all the while continuing to receive the support from my husband, and possibly risking his life. PHEW.

After my husband returned from Afghanistan, his ex immediately wanted to go visit with her "neighbor" man - friend. My husband found out shortly that she had been running around with this guy, and having my husband's mom babysit for her in the process. Need I also mention that she claimed she was raped by a friend's, cousin's husband after she passed out on their couch while my husband was overseas? Funny thing is that when my husband said he was going to make a request to come back home to be with her, and press charges, she declined??!!! Who does that? Especially if you have been raped by a person you are familiar with????? Did I also mention "Instant super-slut, just add alcohol?" to the wonderful woman's repertoire?

OMG!!! I have to say that I am six years OLDER than my husband and his ex. I was married for 13 years prior to the death of my first husband. I am not new to the marriage scene of "forsaking all others, and to death do us part!"

Comments concerning haircuts. As far as I am concerned, the ex doesn't ask my husband if it is okay to get his daughter a haircut, why does he have to ask her? Without him, there would be no daughter. How is that right in anyone's eyes??? On another note, (not meaning to offend) but if you don't want someone else being responsible for your child, don't decide to have a child with someone you do not plan on spending the rest of your child's young years with!!

As my screen name states.....I AM SO TIRED OF THE DRAMA!!! As another poster stated, once my husband's ex found out we were getting married, she quickly informed him that SHE would be getting married shortly too. Funny thing is that it didn't happen, not until, of course, she got pregnant with this guys kid. Oh, I forgot, this is the same guy she cheated on my husband with. He still lives across the street from her mom, which she has moved into prior to her marriage and then moved back out across the street to her mom's because the relationship wasn't working out. She also attempted to crawl back to my husband once this happened. Mostly because she discovered that him and I were seriously dating. Also, prior to my husband's divorce, she tried to get him to buy her a new car and house even though she was already having an affair and just wanted a house and a new car. She has a daycare out of her home, she has no other work experience and she is 37 years old. So, now she gets support from her first husband, and my husband. Both marriages only lasted 4 years. She also left her current husband, prior to their marriage, after four years. She recently had a baby with this guy, and they will be married for two years - let's see if she is still true to her form. This guy has another son from his previous girlfriend before hooking up with my husband's ex. The original reason the supposedly broke up was because this guy treated her two girls poorly. Apparently, that must've changed and that is why she married him - not so, according to my husband's daughter. She says she gets in trouble for everything, but the boy does not.

I have never met this woman face to face - Pretty lucky. I have no desire to because I am sure I would have nothing nice to say. I could go on forever and ever, but I am getting pretty tired of the same bs. :jawdrop:

I know how you feel about the age, I am turning 25 next week and my boyfriend's ex-wife is turning 40. She always has made comments about my age and same with his family. Lucky for you though his kid is 7, my boyfriend's kids are 15 and 17 which is hell. The 17 year old is a girl and she has an attitude every weekend she is over which I don't know if it is because of me or her hormones. Good luck with everything.

Crazyness - I'm in the same boat as you!! I'm glad to see that there are others out there suffering the same issues as me! We have a similar problem in that BM has some freakish obsession with another "woman" mothering her child and can't seem to understand that I don't WANT to take her place - I've got three kids of my own to raise - but by default when her child is at my house, she's going to fall under my discipline and rules and if she doesn't like it, that's too bad. My DH was married to the crazy b**ch for just shy of 3 years when she (BM) decided that she didn't want to be married anymore and left. She didn't decide her child and husband were worth anything to her until she found out that he'd moved on..well, of course, then she HAD to come back. She's made it her mission in life to make our life a living hell and do what she can to turn her daughter in to a piece of trash just like her. We're fighting to keep her from turning the poor child to the dark side, but it's not working and it's a losing battle. At some point for the sake of your own family, you are going to just have to give up. My DH had custody of his daughter up until about a year ago when he voluntarily let his DD go live with her mother after she threatened to slit her SS's throat (my DD with DH - or the "replacement child" as my SD's BM calls her, who was 2 at the time) and SD eventually kicked my DH in the face over toys. I drew the line and said she needed to either get help or get out, and BM, DH, and SD all collectively decided it'd be better (more fun and no rules at BMs house!) for SD to go live there. Since then, any time SD comes to our house (which is not that often for safety reasons and DH has an odd work schedule; I INSIST that he is here when SD is here because she's a pathological liar just like her Mom and makes stuff up -- I want a witness here!!) she brings this huge, looming, heavy dark cloud with her and the whole house feels different. Nobody enjoys her visits except my DH because he loves his DD and I understand that. It's a tough situation to be in and not sure there is anything that anyone can do really to change it, other than sit back and hope that one day these step-kids really will see the truth. Stand firm and hold your ground with your SD - it's your house and your home and she needs to respect that! Try to remember, she is just a kid and has the influence of a nasty, nasty person in her life (BM) and ultimately one day they'll both be held accountable.

I do commend you for being mature for your age! We have the opposite problem. DH is 36 and I'm 34 and BM is 27 so we've been dealing with her stupidity since she was 22. There have been plenty of times I've called her out for being ignorant and stupid and she uses her age as her excuse, always. She plays the part of stupid young mom but it sounds very much like you're in control and know what you're doing. Good for you!!

No, no, Crazyness. He didn't "give up" - that was a massive fight that almost tore our entire family apart...a second time. I took a stand for the safety of my kids and refused to let SD and BM destroy my marriage. Thankfully, DH was able to take a step back and evaluate the situation for what it really was and realize the only thing he COULD do was let SD go. It was either let her go or lose his entire family. Don't get me wrong...he struggles with his choice DAILY and feels guilty as hell, but he also knows had SD remained in his custody, he'd be a single dad.

What's really sad about it all is that there really was no "right" choice. Either way he went was a bad decision for him. He either gave his daughter to her crazy ass BM and resigned to the fact that they both were a lost cause for now, or he kept his daughter and lost his wife and two other children. Not to mention, BM's house is not at ALL the best place for her (SD is a major jackass that calls SD "stupid" and "dumb" and screams and yells at her for EVERYTHING yet never gets on to his own kid, and BM is a spineless dipshit who allows this), but our home isn't apparently good for her either because she hates it here. Trust me, her not being here was a huge relief, but it brought a whole new set of problems to the table.

most likely won't change with time...been 2 years of having FSD EOW and she still thinks she should be entertained and catered to the entire time, always bored, always a bully, always ungrateful, always head filled by her mom. I really am in the "dont' give a damn" mode these days about her...sad but true.