There's a lot to this kid's story. More than I can state here. She's not evil, she is a smart girl who has issues. I have a degree in psychology but have not gone into that profession. I want to clearly state my position here.....I do not want anything bad to happen to this child. She has threatened to hurt herself and while I take that seriously, I also don't believe she actually wants to kill herself. She is crying out for attention. Her dad and relatives on his side of the family have gone out of their way to help her, love her, do for her, etc. Since I've been in her life for the past 3 years, I have also done a lot and shown her & sister love, compassion, etc. She is clearly a victim of PAS - textbook case. After 3 years of this....I'm drawing my line in the sand. I lived through trauma due to my ex's substance abuse. My kids and I went through a lot and got through it. Now that I have the peace I need, I won't give it up. And even though my 2 kids who are still at home are adults, its still their home and I'm not going to subject them to someone else's trauma and dysfunction. I will 100% support SO if he chooses to get a place of his own so SD18 can live with him. I just know he's not in a position to do that without making huge sacrifices to his other kids. He doesn't have much money and no car of his own. If he moves to his own place, it'll probably be a studio apt and they'll have to bus it everywhere. It can be done but will be difficult because of where he would be able to afford to live (inner city) and where he works - bus ride would take at least 1 1/2 hrs each way. He will also have no money for anything except rent and utilities and bus fare - literally. But if he needs to do it, then I support him. Even if I was agreeable to having her here (which I'm not), we don't have an extra bedroom. When she was coming every other weekend, she slept on a mattress on the living room floor - which I hated. She's a young woman who needs her own room. Her and her sister don't mind living like that at my house - that's how much they wanted to be away from BM. But I hate it. Its not right. I'll find out more of what's going on from SO tonight.

SO just spoke to me briefly about all this....he's going to pick up SD16 from work. BM is the one who said SD18 was going to a homeless shelter. Then later in the conversation, she told him SD18 was going to an apartment paid for by social services. He says BM is always dramatizing everything - he never knows what is true and not true. He and SD16 are going to the hospital like they planned since its SD18's birthday. According to BM today - SD18 doesn't want to see SO which is odd, since she's been talking to him again lately. SD18 has also recently told SO that she wants to finish school. He tells me one thing and then BM says stuff to him that's the complete opposite. The reason he went back to court this past summer to get his custody order modified was to keep BM out of his relationship with both girls since they're old enough to speak for themselves. But she just won't butt out and she does everything she can to block him from getting information, etc. He works everyday and is at a job where he cannot be on his cell phone except on breaks. She will call him to do something for the kids during the day (like she set up a counseling session right in the middle of the day one time) and when he tells her he can't leave work, she accuses him of not being a good father and tells the girls he doesn't care about them. Its so twisted. He has reached out to doctors only to be told, they were expecting him at a meeting and he didn't show (when BM never even told him). This is a really abridged version but I'm sure some of you have SO's or DH's that have experienced this bs. I'm hoping and praying that SD18 gets the help she needs and I'm grateful that so far SD16 seems immune to the PAS that BM has tried to inflict on her too. She tells BM all the time that she loves her dad and wants to spend time with him. I appreciate opinions, insight and shared experiences. Telling me to leave him is not what I'm here for tho. That would be my decision alone but so far I have no intentions of leaving him because he has a difficult daughter and crazy BM in his life. He's a good man and we love each other.

Monday - here's the update: BM had said the following - that SD18 was being released from psych ward today and going to homeless shelter; that SD didn't want to speak to or see SO; later in the conversation she said she (BM) was getting daughter an apartment through social services. There was a lot more but those were the bullet points. AFTER SO went to see SD18, he found out the following - that SD18 never said she didn't want to see him (he said they had a really good visit); that she's not going to a homeless shelter (that was never the plan). She will be released in the next few days as there is a program that is going to provide her with housing, paid for by social services and they get her a P/T job as well. She says she wants to finish high school (thru this same program, they help keep her on track to graduate and she will finish this summer instead of in June). She said she then hopes to go to the local community college. Her preference is to live with us but she knows that's not an option because of her recent past behavior. She realizes she has to make amends to a lot of people. She also admitted that she has no intentions of harming herself - she was just desperate to get out of her mother's house. I hope this is the right path for SD and I'm relieved she's ok. She does have many issues but I think being away from BM is the best thing for her. Once she's on her own, I'm going to talk to SO about suggesting to her that she go to her doctor for a full check up and see if she really needs to be taking all the meds that she's been on for years. Thanks for listening