No school supplies
School starts tomorrow so i have spent the last 2 weeks making sure my girls are ready with MY money. I work full time. Dh had never bought school supplies for ss because that is covered by child support. Dh went to take ss home this afternoon and bm wasn't home. He called her and she said she was at the hospital with a friend and wouldn't be home tonight. He should get ss to school tomoorw. Dh asked if he should use the hide away key to go in and get school supplies and his back to school outfit. Bm said no and that she didnt buy him anything. She called him a bad father and said that he should get his supplies this yr. After arguing with her for 20 minutes he is at Walmart getting supplies and a back to school outfit. He doesn't even have a list he is having to guess what ss needs. This is the kind of person bm is.
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This is a 10 year old
This is a 10 year old kid.
Dad doesn't need a supply list to ensure that the kid is ready for the first day.
No one NEEDS a list to lnow that a kid that age needs folders, notebooks, pencils, pens, paper, crayons.
I'm sure mom already purchased school supplies for the kid. She just doesn't want her exhusband roaming around in her house.
In this day and age,
In this day and age, virtually every school has their school supply list online. Heck, in my town the stores have school supply lists for our local schools in the store.
Your husband should document and then enjoy his son's first day of school. That is something that many non-custodial parents never get to enjoy.
If he can't obtain a list
If he can't obtain a list now, then buy the basics and get a list tomorrow.
Our lists tell us to bring
:? Our lists tell us to bring all of the supplies to the "meet and greet" that is a week prior to school even starting. Why would anyone want their kid showing up unprepared??
First day of school here is
First day of school here is learning classrooms, getting timetable, covering books, marking stationary, handing in text books we buy our children, being assigned their reading eggs, mathletics and computer class equipment for the year. Hand over class supplies like sunblock, class cap and so forth.
It would be highly embarrassing for our children to arrive with nothing. It is hugely different from when I was in school.
We stopped doing it way
We stopped doing it way because parents were complaining about missing out on all the great sales during the summer.
What I never figured out is why they needed a list. Why do I have to tell you that your kid needs folders, notebooks, pencils, crayons, glue...the basic items are no brainers
Doesn't the school have a
Doesn't the school have a provider who prepares everything for you and deliver it?
Nope. As a parent I wouldn't
Nope. As a parent I wouldn't have used that option.
Back to school shopping is fun for kids. They are excited about picking out supplies with their favorite characters. Picking out the perfect bookbag and lunch box is a exciting.
We have school regulation
We have school regulation items and required items
It's not really a choice.
My so would rather go
My so would rather go swimming with me, or work on the 1000 piece puzzle he talked me into than shop for school supplies lol. This is my 2nd year ordering through the school and we are both more than good with it.
But everyone is different.
Ours is a box worth of about
Ours is a box worth of about 50cm x 50cm of stationary, still doesn't last the year. I always have to buy more come Term 3.
Meh, I had to put out $130
Meh, I had to put out $130 for the TI-84plus CE edition (but my kiddo is a senior). I could have gotten off with $120 in black, but Princess wanted the pink one. At that price, what's another $10 bucks was DH's attitude.
Is there not an app for that.
Is there not an app for that. There's an app for everything now days. You'd figure you could just download it to their smartphone instead of hunting around for it at the store Lol
There is an app for it. But
There is an app for it. But it's much easier to use actual calculator. Plus not every district would allow kids to use phone for that in
the classroom.
Phones must be turned off and
Phones must be turned off and kept in locker from 8:10am to 3:10pm here. School even hears it going off in a kid's locker they will confiscate the phone.
TI 36 is a pretty old model
TI 36 is a pretty old model plus it's known to have programming errors. What's on the planet teacher wants it for ? Is this a high school? Why aren't they using ti-84 or inspire?
We have Load Your Locker
We have Load Your Locker Night. Kids bring all their supplies and unload into locker and get a tour of where their class/classes are located and met the teacher/teachers.
Ten year olds here would have only one classroom and teacher for bulk of the day with the exception of PE and art.
The list does get ridiculous. Must have x amount of notebooks and folders. All set colors (orange for math, green for reading ect). Makes it easier for child to grab what's needed and for teacher to gather up and send home homework for sick students. Then there is the expo markers for teacher, sticky pads for teacher, Kleenex to keep one box always on teacher's desk, 5 rolls of Lysol wipes, bold markers, classic markers (all name brand, generic not acceptable) crayons only in a 36 pack and three boxes please, as kid may break needed color.
On and on it goes. Anything not on list is sent back home. Anything on list but not the required specified brand/size is sent home with a note to replace. Any family not being able to supply the required list does have an option of filing out an assistance form where the items are supplied for free or reduced price (depending on families 'needs' and number of children requiring).
I know all school districts and in all areas do things differently, but I really don't blame OP's DH from asking for a list (or having enough sense to look online for the list)...spending twenty minutes on the text messaging arguing with BM was what I have a problem with. Just figure it out and get it done. Kid's don't belong in the middle of parent's fights and disagreements. Kid's don't belong in 'gotcha' games.
He is 10. It's easy to guess
He is 10. It's easy to guess the list. Let me know if you still need it and I can send you generalized kind of list fir the first day of school. Anyone with common sense can guess what kid might need for the first day of school. It's crazy BM wasn't home but supply list for 10 year old isn't a big mystery or classified info.
When i said supply list i
When i said supply list i meant supply list for the classroom. What the teacher wants in addition to the standard supply list. I guess bm could have lied and gotten ss school supplies but why be such a bitch and make dh buy another bookbag?
Teacher doesn't need all that
Teacher doesn't need all that the first day of school. Did he look up online?
I bet you'd be furious if BM insisted to come to your house when you aren't there but it's ok for exDH to rummage in her house?
So you think mom should have
So you think mom should have allowed yiur husband to enter her house without her there?
I'm a teacher. I guarantee you the teacher won't care one bit about the boy not having classroom supplies on the first day of school
Same. The only thing on a
Same. The only thing on a teachers mind the first day is "who is here; how is this going to go; paperwork to send home". And what teacher would throw a fit about school supplies when BM is at the hospital. It's not like she was home doing nothing or at the bar.
He can spend his money
He can spend his money however he wants. I just wanted to be clear that i used my money so that some posters wouldn't choose that topic to hound me about.
How much did your ex
How much did your ex contribute to school supplies for your kids?
Zero
Zero
A 'back to school' outfit is
A 'back to school' outfit is NOT a necessity. Gads.
It's not a necessity, but it
It's not a necessity, but it is a tradition in many homes.
Heck, I still wear a new outfit each year on the first day of school. Even if I decide to wear a school shirt, it's a new one. So are my clothes, teacher bag, lunch bags, shoes, sneakers....
It's a tradition bm and dh
It's a tradition bm and dh have also followed as do I. We also send in all supplies and the extras teachers ask for on the first day. I understand a day doesn't make a difference but ss will watch my kids walk in with all their supplies and he wouldn't have his. Bm did this to make ss feel like an outsider in our home once again. Dh got him an outfit, new shoes, book bag and what he thinks ss needs. He got tissues, baby wipes, glue sticks and an apple for his teacher. Ss is excited and i am livid at bm for trying to set us up to fail, AGAIN!
How in the world did mom set
How in the world did mom set this up? She's in the hospital with a SICK friend.
If the tables were turned, would you allow BM in your home or would you expect her to run out and purchase a few things for the kid?
If you believe her and i
If you believe her and i don't.
Would you allow her to enter
Would you allow her to enter your home alone?
If mom has always done the back to school thing with the kid, there no way she stepped back this year simply to scree with dad
By law if it's a public
By law if it's a public school and is student arrived with nothing, school must still provide education. He will not be denied education because he didn't bring freaking crayons. School can ask but cannot demand.
Saying all that why is this guy so destitute? I don't get how these men are so broke? Why don't they get education or training
and some better careers? Why all of them broke all the time up to the point they can't buy Walmart backpack? Why do they argue about petty stuff all the time? Penny pinching and fighting. What's the big deal?
"Dh had never bought school
"Dh had never bought school supplies for ss because that is covered by child support."
Well not this year, LOL.
You know with the line of thinking "that is covered by CS", your two little girls would have gotten nothing because their father/NCP does not pay CS.
You spend your money to prepare your girls. Why can't occasionally Dad spend his money to prepare his son? He works too. Just like you. Maybe he enjoyed taking his son to the store and picking stuff out.
I agree, I would not appreciate finding out last minute, but it's not that big of deal. Would you really rather she not given you today's notice and instead let Grandpa find out tomorrow morning his grandson went in an old outfit with no supplies? We all know how well that would go over as DH stands there telling his stepdad, "but that's what CS is for".
It's not the money!! Bm set
It's not the money!! Bm set dh up to once again look like the bad guy by not having school supplies ready. Thankfully dh has the money to buy them but what if he didn't for last minute?
Why worry about something
Why worry about something that didn't happen?
Do you get paid sick time off at work? If so, what five days? Ten? If you had gotten really sick and missed too much and ended up with not enough paid sick time , getting a short paycheck, would your girls of gone to school without new shoes, new outfit and no supplies? I bet not. But it could have happened.
We could spend all evening running through what-if scenarios. But why? Dad got the stuff. Dad had the money. Life goes on.
I got to town yesterday and discovered I didn't put my checkbook in my purse after I finished up making out bills. Meh, no biggie, I put it on my charge card and will just pay it off when the statement comes. Should I get all worried today because 'what if I didn't have a charge card'.
Life is too short and already full of enough stress without going out of our way to create more. My blood pressure is good, how is yours?
I don't get the hate towards
I don't get the hate towards OP. She was annoyed for her SS and DH that school starts tomorrow and SS didn't have any supplies or his traditional back to school outfit. Not a huge deal, and DH took care of it. But still annoying to assume things are being handled the same way they have for years and then finding out you have to do things last minute. If BM wasn't going to buy anything this time then why not tell DH a a month ago, or even a week ago? Again- annoying. People vent all the time about dumb stuff like that.
Yes!! Thank you!
Yes!! Thank you!
My ex doesn't try and
My ex doesn't try and sabatoge my relationship with my kids like his ex.
He is not in the picture
He is not in the picture though. So how desdbeat absentee father is better than a mother who is raising her child but made a mistake/had an issue ONE year with school supplies? Baffles me
In my opinion, this isn't
In my opinion, this isn't about what her ex does or doesn't do. It's about how irresponsible it was of BM and yes, very annoying. Ss is old enough to feel bad if he thought he wasn't going to have what he needed like most everybody else.
Kudos to her Dh for coming through!!
I agree. Dad did good. I
I agree. Dad did good.
I hope kiddo marched off into school this morning with head held high and happily waving back at Dad for making it happen for him.
OP, look at it this way...all kid knows if Daddy made school this morning happen and special. Geesh, I got a great Dad. BM tossed lemons at Dad and Dad made yummy lemonade out of it!
Why? Goblin takes care of her
Why? Goblin takes care of her kids without CS (which is totally out of her control) and BM gets CS and keeps asking for more. Maybe BM needs to be grateful for what she has and shut up. BM's attitude about money would make me critical too because she seems greedy.
She asked for a shirt and
She asked for a shirt and told him to buy school supplies ONCE in SIX YEARS. How is that greedy?
Do you really believe the
Do you really believe the woman didn't purchase back to school stuff for her kid?
She probably tossed that stupid response out because he asked her a stupid question
Oh, I totally agree she has
Oh, I totally agree she has supplies but said what she did in response to DH asking to enter her house to look for them. That was a cray cray thing to ask. Of course she could have said hells no you aren't going in my house, but SS can wait a day to bring in the supplies, nbd. But then I'm sure it still would be a 29 minute text battle over that too. Seems like a lot of exes being blogged about recently are way too invested in each other.
Do you guys really not see
Do you guys really not see what she was doing? She was setting dh up to be the bad guy again, just like the shirt. She waited till dh was at her house to tell him she wasn't going to be home and that she had no supplies or new clothes for him. She wanted ss to see my kids with all their new stuff while ss had nothing to make ss not feel important to us. She tried to drive a wedge inbetween them again! Thankfully we live near a Walmart.
I see it! BM here always did
I see it! BM here always did that same type of crap. She always waited until the last minute and then dumped it all on DH. I wonder if her friend was really sick or she was just using that as an excuse to get your DH to buy school supplies and clothing.
This isn't like your BM at
This isn't like your BM at all.
The BM in the OP has always handled the back to school shopping.
BM here sets DH up to be the
BM here sets DH up to be the bad guy often. She always says that she is going to do something and then punts it to DH at the last minute. If he can't take care of her responsibilities, he is the bad guy.
BM already bought a new
BM already bought a new expensive schoolbag... SS can use his old one till he gets home with BM again..
"Do you guys really not see
"Do you guys really not see what she was doing?"
Mmmmm, spending the weekend with a sick friend, knowing SS would be just fine because he was with his father and that Dad was quite capable of getting one ten year old off to school?
You spent two weeks doing for your girls what Dad managed to do for his kid at one store in one afternoon.
No one is doing without this morning. The kids are all set. Nobody looking the bad guy. Nobody feeling unimportant.
Relax. If indeed BM had some evil plot laid out, it didn't work...let it go.
Again looking for drama when
Again looking for drama when none is big deal
#1 only works if the man and
#1 only works if the man and his wife (if she's there)can be trusted to not enter her home.
As a mom I can't imagine
As a mom I can't imagine pulling something like this because kids are usually anxious enough about the first day.
Personally I started buying the supplies through the school and then we pick them up at the meet the teacher night the week before school starts. At that open house we get the list of the stuff like Kleenex and Clorox wipes etc and I get those before school starts. Makes my life so much easier. All we need to buy this year is tennis shoes and beans.
I think her husband did the right thing and also didn't expect his wife to run out and do it at the last minute like a lot of guys would have.
Ok, I'm curious. Beans?
Ok, I'm curious. Beans?
Good Lort, I just read some
Good Lort, I just read some of these comments and I'm really confused? :? that people are justifying it OK that BM did this because she was (supposedly) at the hospital with a friend? Come on! Like you said, she couldn't be bothered to let dad know she wasn't going to be home for skid drop off?? "Hey, ex husband, I'm going to the hospital to visit friend with bad hemorrhoids, can you drop SS off a couple hours later? Thanks." Or maybe hey, I'll go visit my friend at hospital, but need to make sure I'm home in time for SS drop off... ya know kind of like "normal", responsible mothers who purchase school supplies for their kids would do :?
WTF is wrong with people???
WTF is wrong with people??? How do you do this to your kid?? BS7 doesn't go back to school until September 6th, and I had all his school supplies that were on the second grade list, that came home with his first grade report card, purchased by the second week in July. Got his sneakers last week, ordered him some clothes last week and now all he really needs is a back pack and maybe a first day outfit. If you break it up over the summer it doesn't have to be such a big deal... unless you're a scumbag BM who using CS for everything BUT the kid. Ugh.
This is the first year that DH will not have to have that stupid fucking phone call and fight about back to school crap, because SS is 18 and SD is 19. HOOOORAYYYY!!!!!
I don't think this is about
I don't think this is about the school supplies at all... but more that she didn't bother to let dad know she wouldn't be home and wouldn't be able to take ss to school.
He found out she wasn't home when he was at her house for drop off.
He then felt that he needed to get the things for SS... meaning he spent the rest of his evening running around, when he should have been home with you doing whatever it is you do when dad drops ss off at mom's... and will have had to possibly mess with work due to having to get ss to school..
She doesn't seem to have an ounce of common courtesy... she could at least have let him know, before ss was expected back at her home, that she was unavailable to care for him. I find it hard to believe that she couldn't find one minute to text DH to let him know he had to keep ss... she chose to let him take ss all the way back to her home before he found out she wasn't there, she chose to wait until the last minute to say he should be the one to buy the things... she made things difficult for him when it could all have been avoided or at least planned for, with a simple text letting him know the situation.
Sounds like maybe she got a taste of what can happen when she claims DH won't pay for something... maybe she's hoping DH was going to ignore her and daddy would give her another chunk of change from dh's pay
The man went to Walmart. That
The man went to Walmart. That isn't spending the rest of the evening around.
The only thing mom did wrong here was not letting dad know ASAP that she was at the hospital.
Dad needing to get school supplies and take his kid to school this morning is all part if being a parent.
Since the kid is 10, I assume he is in the 5th grade. So from K-4 mom has been on top of the back to school routine.
In 2014 Jabba sent Chucky to
In 2014 Jabba sent Chucky to school with no uniform, therapy equipment of stationary. Two warnings were sent until my husband was included. I went and bought everything he needed. Sometimes it is a power play or a pleading of poverty to sell a story. It's not a situation of fact. I doubt any of us wait until the night before to sort out our children's stationary.
OP is on a hiding to nothing with whatever she posts.
You're right Lady That's why
You're right Lady
That's why don't believe she didn't have school supplies in the house.
Sure, but being a
Sure, but being a divorced/separated parent means there are some things that the custodial parent takes care of, and some things the NCP takes care of.
If mom was supposed to take care of school stuff, dumping it on dad at the last minute isn't fair to dad. Sure, it's not a big deal and he went and took care of it... but it also means that mom made the decision as to how dad needs to spend his time, during her time.
I still don't think it's about DH doing or not doing for his son, or being a parent... but rather, about bm having forced him to do things that were her alleged responsibility, because she was too inconsiderate to have given him at least a head's up that he would need to do it this time.
I don't think op is pissed that dh had to go get the school supplies nor take ss to school... I think she's pissed because bm dumped something that she had been doing, on him, just to be a pain in the butt.
She was wrong to not let dad know she was at the hospital. She was also wrong not to have told DH that he would need to take care of school supplies - since from what I understand, school supplies are covered by CS... if there's an "agreement" that mom takes care of certain things, and dad takes care of other things, they need to communicate if it deviates... it's expected between parents that both be on the same page about who does what and when... and when there is a change, that the other is notified. It was not fair of her to force him to keep ss on her time. Yes, he's the father - but he's not her lackey.
I don't think any of it is
I don't think any of it is real.
Not true. Majority of posters
Not true. Majority of posters on here are real people with real issues. This poster just doesn't seem to be. Neither do you.
I wish my story wasn't real.
I wish my story wasn't real.
Lol I hear you, my adult OSD
Lol I hear you, my adult OSD was yelling at DH on Saturday calling him names and saying the most vicious things that he had nothing to do with and then hung up on him. My DH is so upset since then. I wish it wasn't real. It was brutal to witness
They won't hear about it from
They won't hear about it from bm because she looks bad and we look good. I already sent my mil a text with the pictures and explained bm wasn't there and why. I went on and on about how glad I am that we live near a Walmart to get his supplies. My mil was none to pleased bm waited till the last minute to tell us she had nothing for ss.
I agree. DH flat out told CP
I agree. DH flat out told CP BM that she's responsible for back to school supplies. He bought shoes for SD17 and that is it. He was not buying anything else. Not to mention we have had her for the past two months so there should be plenty of extra child support laying around in the BM household for back to school. Back to school is what CS is for
I am stuck at the BM was NOT
I am stuck at the BM was NOT at her house when dh brought the child back. She was at the hospital with her friend.....hum,,,child or friend/ child or friend.
She is a crappy MOM .
Since the chikd was with his
Since the chikd was with his father, there's nothing wrong with the choice she made.
That is an awful statement
That is an awful statement Disneyfan. YOU know it is.
Actually it's gold with
Actually it's gold with diamonds and pearls.
Aaaaaaand now I'm thinking of
Aaaaaaand now I'm thinking of a pearl necklace. Dangit! :O
What's awful about trusting
What's awful about trusting the man you created a child with to get that child off to school on the first day?
That isn't the point or the
That isn't the point or the problem.
Other than mom not letting
Other than mom not letting dad know what was going on in a timely fashion, I don't think there was a problem.
Making the choice to stay with a sick friend whild the was with his dad, doesn't make the woman a bad parent.
No, but not telling dad about
No, but not telling dad about it until he's in your driveway with the kid, and flaking out on the first day of school at the last minute does. What part of that is not a problem to you?
Goblin, update? Did all the
Goblin, update?
Did all the kids get up and out the door ok this morning? Everybody all pretty and handsome and loaded bags over their shoulders?
Did you take pics so when SF summons DH to lunch to tell him what a lousy father he is, DH can show SF pics of three happy excited kids marching out this morning?
When is BM reappearing? Do you have to pick SS up after school or is BM free by now to do it?
I got the kids up early and
I got the kids up early and made breakfast a yummy breakfast. We walked everyone to their classes and got pictures with their teachers. Bm didn't show. My kids have activities tonight and I forgot to make the crock pot dinner I planned. Oh darn, dh will have to make sandwiches before scouts tonight or him and bs will be hungry. I'm going to get subs for me and my girls.