DH left me
I think I am feeling relieved but I miss the heck out of him right now. I'm not sure what the last straw was but bm enrolled ss in bowling league for Saturday league play with Wednesday night practices ( where coaches teach you how to bowl and correct your bowling, for a fee) So dh has been taking ss on our time and bm on her time. This is the second activity ss has. He has boy scouts on Mondays and camp out are weekends when they do them. They do an activity once a month. My girls have tumbling and 1 has gymnastics and the other had rec cheer leading. She really wanted to do a gym cheer leading place so I figured if ss can do 2 then so can my girls. My girls and I are really enjoying these activities. Dh complained my girls do to much and then allowed ss to go on "our" time to his second activity. Money is tight since dh didn't get his bonus but I am managed to swing the sign up fees and everything. Then my car broke down. I was really upset trying to figure out how to pay to fix it when ss comes causally in and says his momma has a brand new truck and we should go buy one. I went off and told him how his momma stole that money from our household and that his grandparents gave her our money for him and to shut his damn mouth. I was wrong but I was at the end of my rope and I lost my mind for a few minutes. I apologized to ss for my words but dh left to take ss out and when he came back he told me to was leaving. It's been a week and I haven't heard from him. I know I messed up talking to ss that way but he will get over it. I don't think dh needs to divorce me over this. I tried texting him but he isn;t responding to me. Sigh. I hate this!!
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your marriage is over Hon,
your marriage is over Hon, accept it and move on....
do not be surprised if you year after 6 months DH is living with BM again
I thought this as well, Acra.
I thought this as well, Acra.
This has been coming down the
This has been coming down the pike for some time now. It isn't the outburst that caused your DH to leave, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back. You and your DH have been in a tit-for-tat competition using your kids as weapons against each other in a fight for control of time/resources, and he's finally had enough.
This might actually be a good thing for you, and especially for all of the kids, although I know that you can't see it right now. You are now released of feeling like you have to fight to control your SS's time and your DH's resources. Your own kids can now sign up for whatever activities they like without having to be pushed and pulled in all different directions while you and your DH argue over 1 activity vs. 2 activities, time limits, payment obligations, who takes whom where and when, crock pot meals vs. home cooked meals vs. fast food meals, etc.
I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, but it's been coming.
I agree with Acra. Your
I agree with Acra. Your relationship is probably over.
I won't judge you on the blow-up you had over the truck. I'm sure most of us have said things in the heat of the moment we wish we hadn't.
Ultimately, you both want the best for your kids and put them first, but feel the other shouldn't. All that will do is create resentment which will snowball into an untenable living condition.
That man was never a keeper.
That man was never a keeper. You'll be happier with an upgrade. Just take your time before replacing him.
Separations are rarely over
Separations are rarely over one issue. You know there were other problems in the relationship. This was just the last straw for your husband.
Work out how to move on without him. If he comes back at a later stage and you two decide to try again, make sure that you work on the real issues before re-committing.
Dh can divorce you for any
Dh can divorce you for any reason he wants if he's made up his mind he is finished. Doesn't matter if you think what you said is a good enough reason. LOL. You can't force a man to stay married to you.
Yeah, this is no surprise. You two have been working towards this now since the boy scout shirt incident. And no, BM "stole" nothing. And no, you can not blame BM for what Paw-Paw does.
So your Dh is done. And no it isn't BM's fault. And being 'sorry' you blow-up on SS doesn't change that you did.
Paw-Paw controls the pocketbook in your house via your DH's job and paycheck. I imagine DH has decided he will just divorce you, see and have his son when he pleases, keep next years bonus check safe and hey, Paw-Paw may even give him a raise. Being you are now too busy to spend time with your husband and he with you, Dh has decided he isn't getting enough out of his marriage to compensate for the crap he's getting from Paw-Paw.
BM didn't do this. DH and you both did. And the winner is Paw-Paw , Dh's job and bonus and Dh being able to stop fighting with you over when and how he will spend time with his kid. Just like you. Now you and your girls can move on, do all the activities you desire and life goes on.
You'll get divorced, receive whatever you share of the marriage is and be fine. Spend time with your girls, take your time before jumping into your next relationship.
You're gonna mis him of
You're gonna mis him of course...
I did a quick glance over of your posts though... It really doesn't feel like he was fully emotionally invested to you. Which is something YOU deserve... Buying BM a truck? Plus without even talking to you about it shows he doesn't even care about your finances... Never getting time together and the one time you think you will he sits you down for a talk? That doesn't sound like he really was putting forth the effort to fix anything...
So yeah I can only imagine, but I'm sure it hurts, a lot. But it looks like he was emotionally married to the b**** still... And until he figures out how to seperste that and create the appropriate boundaries for you, you were screwed to start with. You gave it your all and he made his own choices. IF you try and work things out later just make sure he's fully emotionally invested in you. I am so sorry you're going through this!
Good luck! Message me if you just need to vent, I'm pretty good at listening. You got this and will get so much stronger from the rotten experience!
Her Dh didn't buy BM a truck.
Her Dh didn't buy BM a truck. OP's Dh's SF did through company funds. Paw-Paw (DH's SF, who is also DH's boss) didn't give OP's DH a bonus check this year. Paw-Paw told him it went to BM for SS to have a nice truck to ride in.
OP's DH had no say in what happened.
That's what I get for quick
That's what I get for quick skimming. lol. My bad!
Regardless it didn't sound like a lot of happy situations going on.
I'm really sorry for you. I
I'm really sorry for you. I think you will be much happier in life without having to live with his SF being the puppeteer in the background.
I can't judge you on what you
I can't judge you on what you said to the kid, either. It was wrong, but you have been under pressure for a long time. It was just a symptom of a deeper problem that your DH doesn't want to deal with, so the pressure has been all on you. I'm sorry for what you're going through right now, but glad you have been provided with a way out of this situation.