I think the only solution is to ignore my husband's ex

I blocked my husband's ex from Facebook, my phone and email because she's annoying and intrusive and i don't need to be in contact with her. My husband handles all that when stuff comes up about his daughter (she's 12). Anyway, i guess the crazy woman has decided she's going to intrude no matter what. Yesterday my stepdaughter gave me a note from her mom that said "Thank you SO MUCH for taking my daughter camping!!! My boyfriend and I take the kids all the time but I guess there's always a first for you!!! I'm just SO GLAD she's actually getting out in MOTHER NATURE with her dad. She's always telling me how all she does with her dad is eat pizza and play on her phone which is NOT okay with me!!!!"

First of all that's not true we lead a healthy active lifestyle.She's just trying to bug me and get a reaction. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Right? I haven't told my hsuband about note don't think I will. My stepdaughter watched me read it so I just said "oh, that's nice she said she's glad we went camping." My stepdaughter gave me the strangest look like she just didn't get it. Haa! THe more I disengage the more the ex comes after me I hope it ends soon.

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Holy sh!t. Oh I'm cracking up

Holy sh!t. Oh I'm cracking up laughing! That's such an insane note with CRAY CRAY written all over it. LOL.

Ya, ignore the whore. Lol

Do yourself one better and

Do yourself one better and don't even read the note. Tell SD thanks and you'll read it later and then throw it away (or file it if you like to keep a record of stuff). Def don't read it in front of SD next time.

Good idea! I thought it was

Good idea! I thought it was something serious about my stepdaughter's health of something. But i won't dignify it next time.

I disagree, I think you

I disagree, I think you handled it perfectly.

SD and BM know you read it, so they can't accuse you of ignoring it and using it against you. As you said it could have been something important about SD.
We all know it wasn't and she wouldn't send anything that meant anything but by not reading it you are giving her fuel. She will tell anyone who listens how you have such little respect for her daughters safety that you've blocked every means she has to communicate with you and you won't even read a note. There she is just trying to be a good parent and she has to deal with this! Can't you hear it in your head?

Keep reading the notes, but pay no attention to them. Put them in a binder and keep them in case you need them one day.

The second time I met BM was at a HS game that SS had played in. The team was going to Hawaii for a tournament and the Mom in charge of paperwork gave me 2 pkgs, one for DH and I and one for SS. BM wasn't there yet and the Mom had to leave. No big deal right? Wrong!!!

After the game I gave BM SS pkg. She looked oddly at me and I walked away. She came up 10 mins later, so angry she was shaking. She was angry that the paperwork had been giving to me. SS was her son, not mine!! I should just take care of my own children and she will take care of hers. I said sure and stared at her. She was looking for a fight but there was nothing to fight about, I'd agreed with her, I didn't give anything else to jump on. I didn't defend the Mom who gave me the paperwork or anything. There was nothing to discuss.
People were looking at her and so she walked away. She was at the far end of the hall having quite the conversation with herself. She was still seething over nothing!!
She's never come near me again.

Oh my god thats totally

Oh my god thats totally something the ex in my life would do too, what she did to you at the game. Insecure much?

I think your right because THIS is exactly something she would do:

"She will tell anyone who listens how you have such little respect for her daughters safety that you've blocked every means she has to communicate with you and you won't even read a note. There she is just trying to be a good parent and she has to deal with this! Can't you hear it in your head?"

I hope this is the last of it. Who knows how often she's tried to intrude via fb or email or phone because she decided to get out paper and pen? I just hope she doesn't show up at our doorstep. My husband would be so angry if she did that. I have to give myself a pat on the back from not even bringing this up to him. We simply don't talk about her anymore. its so nice!

We try hard to not bring her

We try hard to not bring her name up but sometimes it's fun.
I know crazy right! But it's fun to discuss how normal we are and how insecure and out there she is. Kinda like you talk about the crazy people on reality shows, LOL

You know your hubby best and if showing him the note will upset him then good for you. Keeping happiness and harmony in your home are number 1

DH and I tell each other everything, but he's been apart from her for over 12 years now and the skids are adults. Perspective is a good thing!

She will still call or text occasionally, it's a narcissistic thing, but because she gets nothing from us she doesn't do it often. She's just looking for more fuel, more drama, something that she can use to show the world how terrible we are and how great she is.

It's great to disengage but with some of these BMs I feel like it's better to get them to disengage with you. Do everything you do with a smile on your face and don't give them anything to use against you. Be so damn nice and pleasant that when she talks shit about you, no one believes her.

PS I called the Mom who'd given the paperwork and gave her aheads up. In Hawaii she told me that everyone was so happy DH had met me and that he was done with BM, no one liked her.

Just keep being disengaged

Just keep being disengaged and keep ignoring the ex. She will eventually tire of it once she realizes her efforts are futile.

I do think it's best not to mention it to your husband. He might say something to her and she will think she succeeded in getting to you. I wouldn't even have read it in front of your SD.

Absolutely ignore. It's

Absolutely ignore. It's killing her you don't respond to anything.

I don't want to involve my

I don't want to involve my stepdaughter and put her in the middle but i totally get what your saying. If it happens next time (whats next, smoke signals?!) I'll just say to my stepdaughter 'I"ll read this later" and leave it at that.

I think this BM is very much

I think this BM is very much like our BM.

She won't get the message that SM is saying no to the harassment.

The note coming back unread will fuel her anger and BM will rage about SM.
She will say things like "what's wrong with her?, why is she so rude, I hope you see just how horrible she is, she won't even read a note from me?" And she will go on about how it was a nice note. BM is just trying to be friendly and this is what she gets, SD do you see why SM is so evil? Do you see me being nice and wonderful and her being rude and disrespectful?

SD will hear all this and not understand why SM didn't just read the note. All she sees is her mom being nice and SM being rude, she doesn't see the underlying adult stuff that's going on.

With a BM like this you have to acknowledge the gesture but give her no fuel at all.

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what a loon!

I know right? Shes so

I know right? Shes so competitive. About camping?! Oh my god so sad. It does piss me off that she thinks she can criticize my husband right to my face..

She's trying to get you riled

She's trying to get you riled up so you will respond to her. She figures if she says something derogatory about your husband, you will defend him, thus engaging with her.

Let her play this game alone.

I totally agree! You guys are

I totally agree! You guys are the only ones who know how much she bugs me. I don't even mention her name to any body else any more.

BTW, I think this is a good

BTW, I think this is a good sign that my husband is cutting back communimcation with her too. Its making her crazy and she's coming to me because she can't get what she wants from him.

She is certainly sounding

She is certainly sounding desperate. I wonder what she will try next?

why do they do that? I have

why do they do that? I have completely disengaged and now she is just going to more extremes. I feel like some people just need craziness in their lives all the time. Why can't people be normal and realize others don't like them and won't talk to them.

I just don't understand why

I just don't understand why the BM's are so interested in stepmoms. I am who I am and I have nothing to hide but when I feel spied on I shut down completely. If a BM would just be normal and they would probably know why more about the stepmom. I am not interested in my exes spouses at all so why are they so interested in theirs.

I feel spied on by her and it

I feel spied on by her and it grosses me out. I totally agree that we should all be able to be adults and live our lives as long as were not hurting any one. But that's not how she live apparently!

I was shocked that adults

I was shocked that adults behaved in these juvenile ways when I met my husband. I had led a sheltered life where adults act like adults and don't intentionally bring drama into their lives but try to get on as best they can without causing waves around them. I have been exposed to a whole new world through BM and my husbands family. I still find it incomprehensible in many ways.