The ex has been pretty damn quiet since my father in law emailed her. thank god. But today something happened and its not the end of the world I know its not a big deal it just makes me sad for my stepdaughter.

My stepdaughter asked me to do her hair in a french braid this morning. She was so cute and happy and excited about it she had me take a photo and she texted it to her friends before school. I could tell she felt as pretty as she looked. She had her visit with her mom after school (surprise surprise the ex actually showed up for once) and when my stepdaughter got home her braid was out. I knew the second I saw that that she had taken out the braid before her mom saw her. She's done that before but I thought we'd moved past that.

SO that made me sad, that she has to deprive herself of something that she likes just because it'll piss off her mom. Why a french braid will piss of her mom I don't know but it does. Then when she got home I didn't say anything because I knew what had happened and I didn't want to make her feel bad but she said "i loved my hair and it stayed in all day but it fell out on the bus on the way home. " Of course I said 'don't worry honey I'm glad you liked it we'll braid it tighter next time"

But my heart sank for her. She has to manage her weird insecure mom and then she feels like she has to protect my feelings too which she doesn't. Poor thing. Its a small thing but it kind of represents her whole life trying to deal with her two very different homes and trying to handle her moms volatile personality and make sure everybody is happy. Its too much for any child and I think it's our job as the adults to make things easier for the child not harder.