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BM told Sd10 that she could "choose" to move out of our house, and she is not backing down

borrowedtime83's picture

Submitted by borrowedtime83 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 7:04pm

This all started when BM was throwing a fit about the middle school in our district not being good enough. Now she has just plain told her that it is her choice to pick whatever school she wants and whose house she is going to live in, and now SD10 is convinced that the whole decision is up to her, and guess what? She thinks she wants to move in with BM because we make her do chores and don't give her enough desserts/junk food.
Legally, she can't force us to let SD move out, but honestly if she is so miserable here and want to leave it's only a matter of time.
It's really a shame too. SO finally had his first good year financially since the recession and now it's probably all for nothing since BM will probably have her hand in his wallet the second SD leaves. So hurt and mad and it's just eating at me and it's not even my kid. They are having a "meeting" Sunday about it which probably means sit and hear all the reasons BM is right and SO is wrong and any resistance will be met with yelling and cursing. SMGDMHF! Ugh!

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borrowedtime83's picture

Submitted by borrowedtime83 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 7:24pm

SO talked to SD10 this morning and told her there wasn't a legitimate reason to change our current situation, and she got in BM car today after school crying about it and she called SO immediately to bitch and hammer in her point that it needs to be "HER" decision.
I see an ugly court battle up ahead.

borrowedtime83's picture

Submitted by borrowedtime83 on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 7:46pm

I think a judge would laugh at the primary reason for a change in custody and residence cited as "doing chores and absence of junk food"
It's 100% bullshit and I said as much.
BM has also convinced her that we don't care about her feelings and that is why the ADULT (SO) makes adult decisions.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Thu, 02/26/2015 - 10:04pm

We went thru this a few years back. I would of LOVED SD moving in with BM. I would be happy to pay CS to have her gone and peace and quiet in my home.

The way I am feeling....I would just let her goooooo......

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Fri, 02/27/2015 - 3:49am

Is this really about the middle school thing, or is it more about CS? It's possible the BM is using the school rating as an excuse and egging the kiddo on ('Daddy wants me to go to a inferior school, plus he depraves me of food ad works me like a maid servant *sniff-sniff*).

BM needs cash. BM's SO/DH made BM get a job she hates and doesn't want to work to begin with. Suddenly SD crying boo-hoo, I want to live with Mommy and Mommy says it should be my decision.

I wouldn't meet for a discussion over this. Wouldn't entertain listening to the whining kid over it either. Tell kiddo when and or if Mommy thinks this is really in the best interest of SD, Mommy can go ask the court which makes these decisions. BM isn't going to do that as BM doesn't have any spare cash and no solid reason to justify a change in custody. BM knows this. DH knows this. Very likely why BM is instigating the theatrics from the kiddo. She's hoping the kid will bug and annoy Daddy enough to just let it happen.

I'd be tempted for DH to text BM and inform her until to put up or shut up (lawyer up and take the custody issue to court)and until then STFU and knock this using the kid for dramatic effect off. End of discussion.

borrowedtime83's picture

Submitted by borrowedtime83 on Fri, 02/27/2015 - 7:04am

I plan on discussing that meeting with him again later today when he gets home from work. I am not on the guest list for said meeting anyway, it's SD10, BM, and SO. So he will be outnumbered. I personally feel that if any meetings take place at all there should be at least a mediator present.
And the book has been ordered, hopefully it gets here soon.
Honestly, it's BM. Who can really truly say what her exact motivation for her stupid ideas is? All I can say for sure is that it's meant to benefit her lazy ass in some way and not at all about SD and what is best for her.
I basically told SO to just tell her no Since neither of them have the legal right to make the decision. Don't even bring up court! She might not even be smart enough to figure it out. Obviously have a defense in place in case she does bring it there, but why even give her the idea unless she brings it up? Maybe just wishful thinking on my part, but could work.

borrowedtime83's picture

Submitted by borrowedtime83 on Fri, 02/27/2015 - 8:00am

That is a good point, I guess I wasn't thinking about that aspect of the fact that SD shouldn't be there. The only thing that is slightly comforting is that the meeting is to be held at McDonald's to lessen the chance of yelling. I am pretty sure that there are a lot of hurtful and damaging things that can be said at a normal conversational level. And the fact that BM will probably yell anyway. I told SO I hope he doesn't like that particular McDonald's because he is getting kicked out of it on Sunday.

borrowedtime83's picture

Submitted by borrowedtime83 on Fri, 02/27/2015 - 10:08am

That's true. The more I think about it, the more it seems like a bad idea.
SO and I had already intended to sit SD down Sunday evening to discuss it and try to find out what her concerns were and find reasonable solutions, but now BM called this stupid meeting. I already know that it will be a one sided deal with SD parroting whatever BM told her to say.
It looks more like a meeting with BM as "mediator" for SD, which neither has right to decide anything.