Been gone from here for a little while, but I'm back. I let him move back in because he swore "things would change",
Well I kicked him out a while back. I cried for a week straight, tried to keep it together in front of my co-workers and family but alone at night I cried myself to sleep. He kept texting and calling me, he wanted us back together and we could make this work. After a little while I gave in, I missed him so much and couldn't stand it. The first week was just like when we first met, he was wonderful and then that Sunday came and he picked up devil spawn SD8 and it started all over again. So here we are about 2 months later and I want him and that train wreck kid out of my house. It was never him that was the problem in our relationship, when it was just me and him it was great, the problem is the kid and how he deals with the kid. He did put her in therapy after I kicked him out, I guess he thought it would help and now they are about to start medicating her. She's gotten worse since I let them back, more pissing problems, not following rules, not sleeping, excessively eating, constantly up in our faces for Dadddddyyy's attention. I started writing a calendar the last few weeks and realized that we never have sex when she is there, and we only have arguments when she is there. He has 50/50 custody of her and that is his child and of course she is going to come first before me but I don't think I can sacrifice 50% of my life for the next 10 years to be able to be with the man I love. If I had just stayed strong and not let him come back I would probably be feeling back to my old self and not even thinking about him and the kid anymore. I am such a fool to think he was going to make things change.
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Because I'm an idiot! He
Because I'm an idiot! He didn't get his own place when he left my house. His sister has an apartment type place built onto her house and he went there.
Kick him out again... It
Kick him out again... It looks like he moved back in with you so he wouldn't have to live with his sister....Block his number and be done with it...It takes longer than a week for someone to "change" even if they can...
It looks like that is where
It looks like that is where this is headed. He just can't handle his child and it causes such a disruption in the house when she's there. My dog even hides when she's around because she acts like the tazmanian devil on crack.
I don't think he would
I don't think he would consider taking SD8 to his sisters on his weeks as an option, he will say he pays some of the bills so he shouldn't have to live elsewhere. Although if he would do that , I think it would be wonderful!
It's my house so he would have to go.
I don't think he would
I don't think he would consider taking SD8 to his sisters on his weeks as an option
Not even if the other option is to go live there full time? It's YOUR house. He actually doesn't get a say here. This isn't a *question* for him, really - it's "This isn't working. If you want to stay with me when you don't have SD we can see if we can make 'us' work, but you can't live here full time any more."
Can totally relate to the NO
Can totally relate to the NO sex part. Our sex life is non-existent whenever step kids are there. They stay up til 11pm and SD's room is right near ours. My house is older and there is no way to re-arrange to make for a better situation.
DH and I do awesome when he doesn't have his kids. We even do great when my BS is at the house which is most of the time. It is totally how he deals with his kids that is the problem.
You weren't a fool to try. You love him. You wanted a chance at happiness. If it isn't working and you need to kick him out again, at least you tried and you won't have regrets.
I think the reason we don't
I think the reason we don't have sex is because when she is around I am so on edge waiting for the next pissing incident, the next meltdown, the next whatever and it's draining. I take care of dinner, dishes, packing lunches, and I just go to my room and watch tv with the door shut. It's the only time I can get away from her. When she is there I feel like it's not my house anymore.
Severe ADHD and post
Severe ADHD and post traumatic stress disorder from when BM abandoned her to SO for over a year.
So do you think it's worth
So do you think it's worth waiting until she starts the meds?
Sweet Pea I feel like I
Sweet Pea I feel like I already have lost my mind. The stress and anxiety is wearing on me physically and I don't know how much longer I will hold up if I don't get them out.
I started dating him during
I started dating him during that time, BUT he would always have his mom watch SD8 so we could have our time and go out on dates. I should have spent way more time getting to know his kid before we ever moved in together but when I was around her she seemed ok??
I know my daughter doesn't
I know my daughter doesn't deserve to have to put up with this drama. Before him it was just me and her for so long and it felt good to have a partner again, I won't lie, maybe that is selfish for wanting someone for me. My daughter has plans this weekend and leaves tomorrow after school, I guess tonight is the time to tell him so he can get everything of his out before she comes back on Sunday and I can just put my full focus back on her.
My feelings are already hurt over all of this and I didn't post on here to get hugs. I honestly just needed to vent and say how I was feeling before I exploded and I knew not all the advice I would get would be what I wanted to hear but I wrote this because I just needed to hear truth from other people that have been in this situation.
or... when u miss him, walk
or... when u miss him, walk down the street and look for a pile of dog shit. take it home with you and smear it all over your bathroom walls. ah, those were the days, eh?
darlin', u tried twice. the only options are no contact, or no contact during skid time and he lives half his life elsewhere.
OMG hahahahahahahah NO more
OMG hahahahahahahah NO more poop on my walls EVER please!
wow, sue. after reading
wow, sue. after reading this, i have to say i believe this is very wise advise for OP.
I agree. When my DH and I
I agree. When my DH and I reconciled, it was with a long list of things that he had to do before I would consider taking him back. He is the great guy he would be only some of the time back then.
If you can't stay away from
If you can't stay away from him, just date him and live separately. If he doesn't like it, then don't date him. But still live separately.
Well I told him last night
Well I told him last night that things couldn't go on like this. My daughter is going on a trip for the weekend and I've given him until Sunday at 12 to have his things out. It was hard and he didn't take it well but I have to do what is best for my daughter and myself. I told him if he wanted to consider dating when he did not have his child and we live apart I would talk about it but he was so angry he didn't want to hear that right then. I didn't date for a long time before him so if it just goes back to me and my kiddo that's how it will be and we will be fine. It's weird how after I finally said it out loud to him how much of a relief I felt.
I am debating about if I
I am debating about if I should go stay at my parents house while he gets their things out? Part of me says take the dog and just go stay over at Mom's and give him time to get his stuff out, the other part of me says why should I go anywhere, it's my house and I need to be there while things are being moved out of it. I don't think he would take anything that he didn't previously own or try to mess my house up but when someone is hurt and mad they could do things you don't expect.