i very clearly remember being an 8 y.o. skid.

yup. i was NOT a gremlin. i was able to contain myself while inside the house. i was also able to keep my hands to myself. i was klutzy as all get out, but out of respect for possessions that were NOT mine or 'community' stuff, i kept a safe distance from breakables.

i did NOT wake my parents up all the time for stupid shit. if i was hungry, i ate some crackers and brushed the crumbs in the trash. if i was thirsty i got a glass of water and put the cup in the sink. if i was sick i knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

both my brother and i, and my stepsis, behaved this way. stepsis was 8 when our parents met and had up to that point been raised very much the same way that dad raised my bro and i. i remember that age and what behaviors we had. my bro and i have ADD. was not an excuse to come in the house after visiting mom and act like idiots bouncing all over the place.

and it wasnt restrictive. it was common sense and showed respect for our family, our house, and people's posessions.

do i expect my skids to act like this? hell no. their parents have not raised them with those standards. yup it's the PARENTS.

Accordn, i'm sorry about the plate. i know your sd drives you insane. but there comes a point in time when you have to realize no matter what your dh says about reaffirming house rules etc, his actions show that HE is allowing this behavior. remember the serenity prayer "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." you see what kind of parent your husband is showing you that he is. you cannot change him or sd. change what YOU can, or accept things the way they are. maybe separate residences until she matures? or a maid service, and easily accessable kiddie food at night like someone mentioned? idk what the answer is for ya, i know it's frustrating as hell.

Seriously, OP, it's time to give this man and his daughter their walking papers. If he's the man you desire (minus his daughter), fine, he can stay with you the weeks SD is with her BM. If you're finished all together , so be it. None of you are happy and living healthy currently and this home-life every other 7dys can't go on.

This little girl is eight. She's a mess. Her parents are messes when it comes to parenting. Is this really the way you want to spend your days every other week? Give them the boot, reclaim your home. Decorate and clean it to your heart's content and be happy in it. The way things are aren't going to change as your SO is a crappy parent. Sure, you may love the man and he may be great 14 days out of the month, the other 14 days are an intolerable nightmare for you. Tell him it's time for his own home or apartment , that you and your own daughter are reclaiming your once quiet clean loving happy house and sorry, it just can't include the four of you all together.

Many years have went into making this SD the way she is. It will take many years (if ever) to undo how she is. Signs with rules all over the house or quick talks between father/daughter about reminders and behavior in the car during transport aren't going to fix what's wrong. He isn't going to give up his daughter and his 50/50 parenting time with her. He isn't going to step up and start actually parenting her either , no matter how many promises he makes to you during SD's gone week...he proves that to you each time when it's the week of return.

You don't deserve the lifestyle your SO is expecting you to put up with. Again, you don't have to ditch the man you fell in love with if you believe there's a chance you two can live separately for 1/2 the month , but it is time to ditch the parent.

Wow This thread is out of control LOL. My DS5 doesn't touch the walls because I made him clean it a few times. I do the same thing to SS12. I think DS5 got it and SS12 still needs to be reminded because SS is not there all the time and well I've seen the condition of BMs house :jawdrop: it's pretty bad. There is nothing wrong with not wanting dirty hand prints on your walls...and don't even get me started about the piss and sh!t I would lose it if one of the kids did that.

I dumped water on a kid at my niece's 7th Bday party. She was literally laying on the ground kicking and screaming because my niece wouldn't let the kid open HER bday presents the mom wasn't doing anything so I dumped a cup of cold water on her. She said "Why did you do that? She was just expressing herself" I told her "then take your kid home to "express" herself there and stop ruining my niece's bday party" I guess I'm a horrible person.

Okay I didnt read all the comments... because there are just 2 many.

#1- I tell my BS all the time not to touch my walls. Same for DH. I am a clean freak and I like clean walls. I have taught my son to be clean and pick up after himself, etc. This is how I like my house, so I have trained BS and DH to keep it the way I like it.

#2- I think there are SERIOUS issues with your SD. Her behavior is not normal. I would say it probably has something to do with her feelings in your home, maybe towards you, maybe towards DH, the step situation in general. Maybe issues at BM's? Either way she has some issues that need addressed. I think these are more then just a skid being a brat.

#3- You need to make your DH step up. And if he doesnt you need to decide if you can live with him NOT stepping up. Which may mean living with this issue even longer.

Her father needs to give her a smack on the ass and send her butt back to bed....

So I know I'm late to this party but I started reading this thread earlier this morning & couldn't believe it had reached 200 comments when I just checked back!

I have to say to the OP: nothing will change except you. So if you don't want to live like this the rest of your life, get out of this relationship now. I appreciate that you keep a neat & clean house, I don't feel that your expecrations for SD are unreasonable, & I know you just need to vent sometimes. That being said, you need to protect your sanity for your own sake but also your DD's.

Btw, for all you posters who are stuck on the wall issue, BM over here has a no touching the walls rule in her home while DH & I do not. So it's not just "evil OCD stepmother's" who don't want their homes covered in sticky dirty handprints. I'm betting if I posted how crazy BM was for having this rule, the same posters would be defending her saying "her house, her rules".

Ok, I literally read all 200+ comments and almost peed myself on my chair at work. Favorites are "gremlin" and the "spray water" posts.
I have light walls and I am a slave to the doors of my home and the wall adjacent to the stairs. For some reason, everyone, including adults, hold onto the wall when going down the stairs. I should invest in Clorox because I go thru those Clorox 2 bottles like water.
I remember when SS was around 12. He jumped from one couch to another in the family room mimicking a WWE move. I just heard a loud CRACK. Lo and behold, he cracked the frame of my sofa in half. That was just one of the many things the Skids broke in my home. Xmas one year, he and his sister thought it would be fun to chase each other around the house in socks. One of them slipped and kicked a tall glass vase I had on the floor filled with ornaments. Glass shattered, ornaments rolled every which way and DH just stood there like a fucking jackass. I sympathize with the OP. It is very frustrating when you work hard to get a home, make it beautiful, keep it clean and someone else's unruly spawn come and fuck it all up. The turning the light on and jumping on your bed would have made me do a lot more than slam the damn door, I would have grabbed my purse, my keys and left to a hotel immediately and left DH to deal with his poop fisted gremlin.
This kid needs a serious case of discipline, I don't know but I probably would smear her favorite teddy bear in her shit and make her sleep with it. See how much she enjoys laying with shit when she is forced to sleep with it.
My BS16 threw a tantrum once, a really bad one, I dunked him in a tub full of cold water. He never did that shit again. These days, all this CPS bullshit is the reason why all these fucking kids are outta control and acting like major assholes. Drastic times call for drastic measures. I'd let her sleep in her piss too. Believe me, I would.

Oh wow I thought not touching walls was normal lol. Not some inhumane evil SM rule }:) I grew up in a house where walls weren't touched and I am normal I think :?

OP I feel for you with your SD there is no way I could live with that. Call me crazy OCD but knowing she is smearing poop then walking around the house touching other things. I couldn't handle it.