Bride the BM for custody

I had recently thought about calling CPS regarding the BM's lack of dental care for my skids. Sd7 and Sd5 had never seen the dentist and cried at every meal about their teeth hurting last summer. She finally took them to get cavities filled but still feeds them a bunch of processed sugar filled shit food and candy. I also considered calling to give them the heads up that she has her children in a new residence and her previous residence which i now reside was a disgusting hell hole after she moved out. I mean dog shit and piss everywhere, rat shit all over the kitchen, nothing had been cleaned, ever. I made DH put in new floors and paint walls or put in new walls and get new furnishings in both of the girls bedrooms, the hall way, the kitchen, the living room.... we basically had to gut and remodel half of the house due to her Nasty NAsty habits. Sd7 recalls being locked in her room from the outside with dirty yogurt cups piling up around her.

Anyway i haven't ever called CPS because I don't want to open that kind of can. But I like this idea of bribing her for custody. Someone in the general discussion forum mentioned this...

"He can bribe the mother by offering to continue child support. First try to offer one year then end it.. Or five years declining each year to zero the sixth year. Whatever it takes.

Of course BM makes all transportation considering she's getting the money.

He may not have to sue. Just make her the offer. If she accepts get it in writing preferably with a notary public stamp on it. No court would ignore such a document."

Wonder if that will work.... i got to get these girls full time is all i keep wanting. But we can't afford to pay child support and take the kids.... what to doo....

jenny8675309's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

The custody agreement is only

The custody agreement is only for ONE of the two children, since he never legally adopted the older child. It states he has her from 5:30 Monday evening until the following morning, Wednesday evening until the following morning and every other weekend. The agreement was written when she was a pre-schooler and went to half day afternoon pre-school and didn't take into consideration her sister at all. T

he reality is that my blended family wants to be together so we take every opportunity to do so. I call and asked her if they can come with us on her time to do things with their family, birthday parties that fall on her weekend, swim lessons that fall outside of the time frame, camping for 2 weeks with us in the summer, family vacations to the beach out of state with cousins. They spend as much time with us as possible. She has all their medical insurance information which i have repeatedly asked for copies of so that we can take them to the doctor and dentist... that's a whole other rant, she lied to me so many times about their insurance coverage that I found their SSN's and called the company and asked myself (disclosing exactly who I was) and found out their coverage had expired and they were not covered for any medical or dental through where she told me they were.... we are So tight on money DH works all the time so hard, we also live way way out in the country so we are responsible for cutting our own trees for fire wood and we are re-building our home room by room so there's constant stress. court is the last place he wants to go. he isn't lazy but he is overloaded so priorities are jammed up.

When the skids are not here at our house, according to them mommy's new apartment has dirty brown water that smells like garbage so they are not allowed to take baths or drink water from the sink. They have been staying at their grandmothers house in their 16 year old aunts bedroom, in her bed because BM isn't taking care of them, she isn't there. They were supposed to move to a new school district in the middle of feb and everyweek BM texts me to say they are still in their old school "paperwork problems" blah blah blah but when I pick them up from school (which im not obligated to but if i don't she will pick them up, take them to hang out at a gas station where her boyfriend works so by the time she meets us for drop off its 5:30 they haven't been fed and went straight from school to the gas station then to my house. I might as well pick them up from school! so i did for a few weeks... but i'm done i love those kids but she is taking advantage. but if i don't take them they end up sharing beds with a teenager.... ugh she makes me crazy

He is only the bio dad for

He is only the bio dad for the younger daughter. He is on her bc. The girls call me mommy because i take care of them most of the time and treat them like my daughters and not like my tax dependents. Teen years will be interesting. i will do everything in my power to have them as much as possible due to the BM's family history of teen pregnancy.

She keeps lying to me about them going to a new school so she squeezed a few weeks of me taking extra over nights and after schools and mornings that I never had before so that i could transport them to and from school. It's on my street and she moved to a different town. It was only supposed to be 2 days, which has turned into 3 weeks! My moral dilemma is that even though I LOVE HAVING THEM HERE and would keep them 100% of the time we can't afford to with giving her 171 a WEEK in support.

how would you like it if some

how would you like it if some female was trying to take your kids away from you?????

" i got to get these girls full time is all i keep wanting"....are you serious???????

the point is i really don't

the point is i really don't think she'd fight us. i think she'd take the money. she doesn't provide anything for them, she doesn't even keep them with her when its her time. she works at night so she sends them to her mother's house and no one minds after them. they always say they never see her anyway.

So, what was you're

So, what was you're Husb/fiancé doing to improve the situation before you came along?

^^^THIS^^^

He took care of her since she

He took care of her since she was 4 months pregnant with someone else's baby. He wanted a family with her. He worked his ass off for 6 years to provide for them. She worked until it was costing him more in gas for her to make 100 bucks a week working at a gas station. She became a stay at home mom after that.

They moved a few times from a trailer to a double wide and finally caught a break with a family owned piece of land and a broken down own house.

He was working 60 hours a week, and BUILDING HER A HOUSE til 2am every night. New walls, new roof, new plumbing, new heating...DID IT ALL HIMSELF! while she complained that she couldn't do her part in taking care of what they did have. yes they were living in the re-construction, we still are. it is a HUGE process. And he is a man, men don't see dirt lol

He still works 60 hours a week, when there is enough work and cuts down trees and splits wood so his family is warm, he tore down and re-built me the kitchen I have been waiting a year for, he re-build the girls bedrooms with in a few months of meeting me and hearing me tell him how horrid it was to think about children living here. He did it for them, for us, for her.

As soon as the kids were both in school she left him. had another man lined right up and has had a ring on her finger since the following day. It's disgusting. They both work at gas stations and are going no where.

We have a 6mo son, and he

We have a 6mo son, and he loves his sisters, and they love him. It is such a great time when the whole family is here. That's why i want them here. We can't afford to have more kids of our own and pay her support. I will eventually go back to work. I am well educated and experienced and will made a good salary but i chose to stay home while my baby is .... a baby.

You could file an anonymous

You could file an anonymous CPS report. I hope you took pictures of their teeth and will do so again.

yes i did take pictures

This is bizarre. What's the

This is bizarre.

What's the problem you have? You don't think BM takes good care of your husband's kids? If she's abusive or neglectful, do what you would do for any kid - take appropriate action. If she's not, then let her be the crappy parent she is when she's got the kids, like you would let a crappy neighbour parent do their thing. Boundaries go both ways.

And you can't be a better parent to these kids than their own parents. You are not a knight in shining armour, you're the partner to one of their parents. You can support him as a parent, but taking over will just point out to the kids that their own dad doesn't give a rat's ass about them.

I get that you love these

I get that you love these girls. However here is the thing:

1) He will never and should never have custody of his non bio. That opens up a world of crazy if the biodad never signed away his rights!! IF the actual biodad signed them away than your DH must formally adopt this child before anything else happens to support her. I know that it is not this little girls fault that any of this happened and it is terrible but your DH and you need to stop taking on the burden of the world. Does he currently pay CS for the nonbio?

2) If dental is the big deal that is a very simple fix. Dental insurance is cheap #1 and #2 it sounds like she is the type to be on state aid. Obama care includes dental for minors and all people are now forced to be insured. This is a easy fix.

3) Why don't you see if she will give you primary during school and then she gets weekends or something to start. CS will reduce because it will be calculated by the # of days that the children are in each household. She may still get some but if the burden of costs falls on you she might agree that she can still afford to keep where ever she is living.

When you call CPS, will you

When you call CPS, will you report your husband as well or just mom?

He didn't bother to take them to the dentist when they were with you over the summer. If chewing caused them pain, dad shouldh have taken them to a dentist.

Did he live in the nasty house with mom and the kids? If so, then he is just as responsible for those kids living in filth as she is.

Both parents sound like neglectful slobs.

Bingo!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That's what I was thinking.

"they can come with us on her time to do things with their family, birthday parties that fall on her weekend, swim lessons that fall outside of the time frame, camping for 2 weeks with us in the summer, family vacations to the beach out of state with cousins".....can and does pay for all this plus all the money for the dump of a his he's redoing but sits down with kids for meals that teeth hurt so bad. Excuse was BM wouldn't give them dental insurance info, then discovers no coverage, and still nothing until BM did finally take kids to dentist.

Not to mention GF that gives up PASing the kids against their BM for lent. :?