So I have been reflecting... and i have given up the projected future where my step kids are with us full time. There is no light at the end of the tunnel in that battle. The girls are showing me signs that they are functioning well and know the difference between neglect and caring parents. They are calling our house "home" and insisting on coming here over staying with their mother. I am not going to try to take anything away from anyone. no one wants to look on their childhood and say they had a failure for a mother. So i wouldn't wish upon the kids to be taken away from here. I don't think that's right. Instead i give them the stable home environment they crave and I don't talk about their mom's choices.

I applied for food assistance so we are better able to feed a family of 5 and keep them over night more.

I am going to focus on providing for them the best I can with what we have.

"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you have"

Thanks for everyone's honesty and support. positive and negative thoughts and reactions really help put things in perspective. and I much appreciate having the outlet

In past posts people have mentioned my SO as being as much to blame as the BM for the living conditions while they were together. All i will say about that is every strong man has a strong woman behind him. and he is becoming a stronger man everyday.