Ladies…….Opinions please
My DH likes to play silent treatment and will only say whats necessary and plays this stupid game that I have to come to him first, when we fight. For the past year or so Ive been the one to always go to him first, when we argue and I bring up, us discussing our issues, getting it out of the way, and getting over it. The way I see it, its a waste of energy to go days fighting when we could simply fix it, and move on.
My DH as I said earlier, will go days without talking if I let it happen and now we are currently on day 3. Im so over this petty bullshit that I am ready to just be done with this, I am done always being the one to approach him and he always finds a way to justify his actions, makes excuses, and then gives a bullshit apology.
Im curious to what others do in this situation, if your husbands do it.
Tuesday night we have it out, I approach him first minutes after to try and fix it, we have it out again and have not really talked since then. Everything is great when its great but when we fight, its the same bullshit, and to me thats not a marriage. I feel he doesn't have enough respect for me to approach me and even attempt to fix things. I can't go the rest of my f***ing life with every time we get in an argument, I always have to be the one to make moves and steps to fix shit, while this idiot sits in the corner like a f***in baby.
What do you ladies do, cause I ready to smack HIS not mine, HIS Head into a wall.
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Me I continue on with my life
Me I continue on with my life like he's an annoying ghost. I don't prepare a meal for him just the kids, I don't interact. I just move on. SO tried that crap with me using his laptop as a means to ignore so I changed the wifi pass and then took his power cord, and lock him out of the bedroom. Passive aggressive will not be met with well by me and he no longer behaves that way since he gets no reward (me coming to him) from it
Ha Ha I do this too. Stop
Ha Ha I do this too. Stop cooking dinner for him, go out to eat with my BS not bring him anything back, stop washing his clothes. If he can't talk to me like an adult and avoids confrontation or acts like it's me that has the problem, even when I try to talk to him- Well Okay Buddy... you think I'm so awful... lets see how you feel hungry and with no clean clothes.
Spot on ladies. Definitely
Spot on ladies. Definitely doing this, for the first few years in our marriage he used to always be the one, to come running and try to fix things. Then I called him on it one day, and said "he'd be back like always" so that put a stop to him trying to fix things.
I have evolved a lot and stopped doing things I would do wrong when we fought like suggesting we split up every time, giving the silent treatment, calling him names, and feel like my evolving made it so he can be more of an ASS, cause now HE knows that I will come to him and attempt to fix things.
Brie, Im tempted to throw his shit into bags and throw him out. Im not, Im going to take both of yours advice and not saying a damn thing to him and definitely not making the first move. Im so over this shit.
^^^^ Loving this !!
^^^^ Loving this !!
Do you have bios at home? If
Do you have bios at home? If not, start being really busy. Find a friend to have dinner with, or even go to the library and sit and read. Go window shopping, take up a yoga class, just make yourself busy for a few days and as badfairy said, act as if nothing is wrong in passing. If DH brings up about you being "busy" all of a sudden just tell him it's boring being home and not having anyone to talk to.
If you have bios it's a little trickier, plan play dates, do the library or even just go in another room and interact with them one on one. (Spending time with your kids shouldn't only be as a punishment to your DH though) my point is, exclude him and go on being happy.
I have 4 bios so thats not
I have 4 bios so thats not hard lol. and I think you all gave awesome advice !!! I will just keep, keeping on. Maybe drink some wine later…… That'd be good.
In my first marriage - I
In my first marriage - I would always go to my exH and apologise, even when nothing was my fault! One time, I'm not joking, he didn't speak to me for 2 YEARS!!!! He was having therapy and I had become the enemy. He called me controlling and like his late mother. I asked all my friends if I was controlling and they all laughed and said "don't be stupid".
I left him. I would suggest that your DH is the one who is trying to control YOU through this passive aggressive bullshit behaviour. Don't let him beat you down.
Agreed! My DH is the king of
Agreed! My DH is the king of this...so annoying. Also PA talk which is super annoying and I always call him out on it. I'm like just say what you freakin mean. Dont try to turn crap around on me.
Yes my DH always does this
Yes my DH always does this crap too. Well YOU do this or YOU do that. Blah blah blah to deflect. Or manipulative bullshit like "Why are you with me then " and shit like that
Yes and I didn't even realize
Yes and I didn't even realize it until you guys said it, its Passive Aggressive. I agree also with bad fairy that he wants to be in control of the situation and that he wants to feel like "yep she always comes to me" we've had talks before how much work it took to build our relationship in the beginning and he said some bullshit two separate times like "Thank god that you always came and made up with me, you saved our relationship most of the times" I looked at him like he had 3 heads and said "in our first few years I did NOT come to you, WTF are you talking about" Its like he was trying to get me to replace history with some distorted fucked up version that he had.
Kes, 2 YEARS ?????? You didn't talk for two years ?? How did you survive that one ? This has never been me, EVER to be the one to approach him first but I realized long ago that we are married and I needed to grow up. It seems this joker didn't get the memo, and wants to flip the script on me now. Well Im not falling, and it makes me feel better to hear from you ladies that Im not being silly.
I no longer accept the silent
I no longer accept the silent treatment. Refuse to.
In the past it would last days and at one point about 2 weeks. I told him I would divorce him over it and I mean it. It's a passive aggressive, controlling maneuver.
Definitely !! I agree
Definitely !! I agree
I haven't but I will check it
I haven't but I will check it out.
Isn't this crap so petty ? I
Isn't this crap so petty ? I feel like I want to take a break. I'm a prideful person and my mom always made fun of me cause I would NEVER apologize to anyone for anything even if I was dead wrong. It just speaks volumes, how I've let my guard down and he still keeps pulling the same thing.
Tausha you'll probably be happier in the long run and if he does come back I hope he changes his ways.
My DH is so petty Im upstairs he goes downstairs, and vice versa. Who has time for this shit? I'm talking your guys advice and laughing like hell at the TV
Oh the silent treatment. . ..
Oh the silent treatment. . ..
The last time DH pulled this on me I informed him that I really like quiet time. LOL
I go on with life and act as if he doesn't exist. Who has time for the childish games anyway!! Oh and for the most part he's not even mad at me, he's mad at something BM or SD did! Go figure!
I'm so glad to hear its not
I'm so glad to hear its not just me. I'm not the easiest person to get along with, I get that then I sit there and retrace my steps. "Was I wrong saying this " ? I realized I was being childish pulling the silent treatment shit and stopped. My DH is almost 15 years older than I, it's sad how childish he can be?
Do any of you women ever think that our husbands feel more comfortable in acting like an ass after we have kids with them ? My DH gets this attitude like because I had his baby he can act however he wants and I'm not going to go anywhere.
Bullcrappith