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Maybe I am overreacting

pixiedust10's picture

Submitted by pixiedust10 on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 9:50pm

I believe everyone has things about their spouse that just make them go hmmmm....

I think my hmmmm's got confirmed when FDH freely gave me the copy of his results from the court ordered psych evaluation.

Has anyone else experienced this...and felt a little twinge of "oh damn"????

Comments

checkedoutsm's picture

Submitted by checkedoutsm on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:01pm

Yeah my husband went to anger management and got in trouble for refusing to participate. He basically wouldn't talk because he didn't think he needed to be there. What did it say about about yours?

pixiedust10's picture

Submitted by pixiedust10 on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:04pm

It says lots of good things but that he also was extremely defensve and that he doesn't seem to grasp the severity of SS7's issues and lacks accepting responsibility for it.

checkedoutsm's picture

Submitted by checkedoutsm on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:12pm

Delete

pixiedust10's picture

Submitted by pixiedust10 on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:09pm

Ouch ladies! That sucks. I just wonder if it will pass, if I'm just paranoid, or maybe I should be more observant?

checkedoutsm's picture

Submitted by checkedoutsm on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:19pm

Tbh, a lot of the DHs on here could be described the same. Some times the flaws are more amplified and there is a chance he could work through them.

pixiedust10's picture

Submitted by pixiedust10 on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:17pm

Checked, he didn't say...we haven't talked yet, he's watching a movie with SS right now. I hope maybe it will raise some awareness. I wish I could get a eval of this sort or more of a personality test just to satisfy my curiosity...

checkedoutsm's picture

Submitted by checkedoutsm on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:23pm

If he is aware of short comings and willing to work on them that is a good sign. Extremely defensive would present difficulties in disagreements though.

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 11:10pm

Keep in mind, this is just one person's opinion. That person is equally as flawed as your SO. Wink

I think a lot of times we have that "love is blind" mentality. We think the BM was the bitch, she was the nutter, and while our SO may have contributed "a little," it's mostly BM's fault.
In reality, we're flawed. I can understand a person being in denial that their very young child has major mental problems. What parent wants to admit that?
Now, it's important that he find a way to take responsibility for his contribution to SS's lot in life. I know my own DH tried to blame some shit on BM, which may have happened during their marriage, but it was continuing psot-divorce. If DH was allowing these things with SD, it sure wasn't Bm's fault. I told him to accept that HE was behind it. He no longer had BM to blame it on.
Hee, hee...he looked like he got slapped, and I haven't heard him blame BM for stuff since.

Just try to keep your eyes and ears open. Don't be "blind," but don't take one person's word as gospel truth.

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 10:14am

LOL.

My XSil is a psychologist, and I'm pretty sure she's the craziest person I've ever known. Wink Worst part is, she's now a CHILD pyschologist with a school district.

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 10:15am

LOL.

My XSil is a psychologist, and I'm pretty sure she's the craziest person I've ever known. Wink Worst part is, she's now a CHILD pyschologist with a school district.

pixiedust10's picture

Submitted by pixiedust10 on Sat, 03/09/2013 - 12:47pm

Thanks for all the feedback! I definetly see some things in the assesment that I have noticed and just chosen to accept as part of who he is, I always wondered "is it just me?", and now I have the comfort that no, it's not just me, and I'm thankful for that so I don't wind up second guessing my instincts in the future. I know I have my issues as well. I just hope that it doesn't bite me. He's not a serial killer or anything extreme like that LOL and I don't feel unsafe. I think from a rough upbringing of my own he's very untrusting of others (Which was mentioned as well), and perhaps that's why he sort of sticks to his own opinions and ways of doing things. Hopefully him getting the eval will be beneficial for both of us. As I said in a previous reply, wish I could have one for insight.