how to get awarded attorney fees in family court and can we should we file for full custody!!! or???
I paid for my boyfriends attorney when his BM took him to court over some bogus drug addiction story she gave the courts. Can he get awarded attorney fees in family court in california. The custody order went from 4/3 3/4 to 50/50 then to we have full custody during the school year and she has the kids during the summer so basically we have 9 months she has 2 months a 1 week during the summer, I've had to make my oldest son a doctors appointment because he now has bad anxiety thinking that summer will be here in 3 months are at least that is when school is out. My youngest just cries none stop. Should we file for full custody with her seeing them only on the weekends or every other weekend. They HATE going over there even from friday to sunday. They dont feel safe over there and cry every time we call to talk to them. so I want to know what we should do and how?
- momsome's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Are you asking if you can sue
Are you asking if you can sue BM for the money you paid for your BF?
I think it is referring to how getting awarded free of court costs is to any other case-where one person takes the other to court for a BS reason and then has to pay for the court costs and all that.the fact she payed for it and "wants her money back" does not seem to be the reason she is asking.
I personally think it speaks of your commitment to your bf by how you are helping him and considering it as "you're in this together". I have always helped Dh with child support and everything else. Because we see it as helping each other. We have each others backs, always have.
hey sandy1234, thanks for the
hey sandy1234, thanks for the support, Yes I am asking can we sue BM or whoever, it was a complete bogus story she gave to the courts when BM took the boys. My boyfriend totally supported me when I first moved to the town we live in now. So besides the fact that he has extra baggage then I do, we are each other's backbone both of our families well at least some of them have closed their doors to the fact that we are an interracial couple. So it was clear from the beginning that we choice each other rather than our families. I see the boys as if they are my own children, of course I never cross that fine line of Bio mom and I think that is something she should appreciate. In the event that we are ALL around each other, I make the boys go up and say hello to their mother I make them call their mother when they dont want to, I make them make mothers day presents or give their mom the ones they've made at school, even when they say that the reason I do that is because I dont want to be their mom and I dont love them, I never and I mean NEVER step on her toes "I HATE MY MOM" isn't allowed in my house. I cant make them feel what they should feel for their mother I was raised in a house with 13 siblings, so loving kids was a given for me, I mean sure my boyfriend has proposed and yes I have a ring, but to me marriage isnt anything but a commitment that we have already made to each other. Do we plan on getting married, Yes but we cant even afford that with taking care of both boys and having to pay BM half for whatever she does with the boys. We cant even claim both of the boys on our taxes BM says she gets to claim one when she doesnt take care of them AT ALL....we have the kids 9 months she has the kids 2 months and 2 weeks and we still get the weekends, My boyfriend gave that to her the court said that we get the boys FULL CUSTODY!!..but because he thought it was to soon for the boys to be away from their mom and he wants to wait till they get old enough to make that mature decision on their own he tried to co-parent with her. The boys both hate that he did that, but I totally agree with him 100%.
Oh come on Lynn..if she/they
Oh come on Lynn..if she/they think of it as a "together" thing then don't try to.call her out about it.. Doesn't matter if they are bf/gf it's about how they feel and how committed they are
This is why it's so easy for
This is why it's so easy for users to find victims.
How
How
Lynn123 its easy to explain
Lynn123 its easy to explain why I say "WE". From the moment I've been with my boyfriend the boys have been in my life the same amount of time, and from the BEGINNING we have had a connection 2 weeks after I met my boyfriend and the kids they asked me could they call me mom, they've always expressed how much they "HATE" their Bio mom. At first I told them it would be a little inappropriate to call me mom, but after so many years they just started calling me mom and I've never said another word to them. I go all in when it comes to my boyfriends kids I've watched them grow, my entire family loves them and they love my family, its not my step moms sister its always been Aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa....Yes their mother does alienate them, she puts her boyfriends on a Pedestal and the boys have seen that from an early age, I've been in their lives since before baby teeth have fallen out, it has never been an awkward moment in our relationship, when they are home with my boyfriend and I its like an average normal family. Then when its BMs weekend, they start to say that they are going to their babysitters house. Its pretty sad. I would say that my boyfriend and I are engaged but what does a ring mean these days, We have always talk about going to the court house. But with all of these legal fees and BM requesting so much from us. we couldn't even afford that
due to the economy boy Boyfriend lost his last job, well that and the help of his mother and BM, so since he supported me for a little while I see no harm if we are a team and in this together that I shoudlnt support him. I didnt come into this relationship saying to my SKs hey call me mom, I am your mother you only have one mother, I've never expressed any feelings or ever said anything like that to them. I am apart of the lucky few who's boyfriend/husband/ or other who lets me be evolved with their kids and discipline, and I dont do it alone we both do "TEAM" were there times where it was hard OF COURSE!!...and as far as court is considered my boyfriend and I BOTH want the money back no matter who paid for it. She made up some bogus story about him being on drugs and lost he had been taking random drug test and still does just to make her happy that "WE STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR" From the moment I met my boyfriend and my SKs we have paid for EVERYTHING she has paid for nothing, but always wants money. When we won in court and this "we" meaning my money I spent on the attorney, She kept getting welfare for both kids for the next 3 months, My boyfriend tried to apply when the boys needed medical and they denied him, the list goes on and on with this story. But the point I am making is I am a very proud Step mother to my 2 boys, I've never stepped on Bio moms toes and I still dont, I dont say mean things about her even when the boys come home and tell me how much she has put me down or what she is going to do to me. I've always told them that I am like mommy and daddys helper and just another person who loves you very much.
I agree with Lynn123 on the
I agree with Lynn123 on the Mom thing. I would never allow it no matter what the living arrangement is, but that is just me. On the court issue, look into suing her for slander/libel. If she spoke it to a third party and it was done maliciously that is slander. If she wrote it down, as in like court documents, that is libel.
so give me your advice when
so give me your advice when the boys come to me and say MOM look what I did at school I should say Dont call me mom, then when the crying begins and I say I am not your mom I am not even your step mom you have a mom. Or how should I talk to them about this. I dont want them to think that I dont love them or I dont want them in my life do you have any advice on how I should explain this to them?
no not at all I really didnt
no not at all I really didnt want to have kids at first. But now I think I do, I just think that it would really be hard if I did. Do you have SKs and do you like them? whats your relationship like with them?
No, I really don't. My SS has
No, I really don't. My SS has been so poisoned by his BM that he lives and thrives on telling me that I am not his Mom, that I don't have any babies, that I am not a _______'s (our last name), that only he and his Daddy and BM are. My Dad was married before he married my mom, he had 2 kids with his first wife, then had me and my sister with my mom. My older half siblings never called my Mom, Mom either, and they were around her from the ages of 3 and 1 and then lived with us full time, half brother at 11 and half sister at 13, until they were 18. I think once you have opened that door, and they call you that, it would be very difficult to stop it.
see that's the thing. I have
see that's the thing. I have step brothers and step sisters and One calls my Dad "DAD" and the other doesn't. I told the boys in the beginning it was inappropriate. But when you are caught in a situation were like I said before when it happened the first time. They came home one day from school and said "mom look what I made at school?". I didnt know what to say then. I am not mean to them other than when I punish them for bad behavior but I dont want that to seem as though it is bad behavior, my boyfriend has no problem with them calling me mom I told him it would feel weird for me, but I just left it alone. Now BM would flip out if she knew not because of them calling me that. She has already sent us a message saying how sorry she was about the things she has done to me and that she was just jealous because there is another women in their lives that they love a lot. But shortly after that she started up with her normal rants and negativity about me. I mean I can understand their need for a mom. They are put down when they go to their moms house with things like. "what are you stupid or a retard" if they dont understand their homework. or "I hope your not gay" if they were certain clothes or their hair different. I mean the comments get worse but I will just keep it PG13 on here. She tells them she hates their art work and throws it away, (they never want to take projects to their moms house) I've seen some of this with my own eyes. I mean the list goes on and on I feel bad for them, because they are GOOD BOYS!!..I mean especially with kids in todays world. They are not disrespectful, they have manors, they are smart I mean I think they deserve a mothers love and to feel that. I had it, I think every kids should I think that's why some kids act badly the way they do, they dont feel like anyone gives a dam or cares what they do
Sounds like BM is a piece of
Sounds like BM is a piece of work. MY DH's ex is that way when SS has pushed her to the limit, when she thinks no one is looking, but then when she is in public she fakes being mother of the year and coddles him to the point of it being infantile. He is five and she calls him baby every two seconds, but then after she has had him a while, and he has drove her nuts, she yells and screams at him, and it is chaos. She is raising a true narcissist in the making that is for sure.