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Even though I love my SKs is it wrong that I feel upset and used sometimes ???

momsome's picture

Submitted by momsome on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:02am

:O Ok keep in mind that I love my SKs both of them. We have had a major connection from the moment I've been in their lives. But lately its been hitting home that I am nothing more than a women that takes care of them. When I met my boyfriend, I knew that he had kids. But apart of me feels like saying RUNNN get out while you can simply because I never thought about their graduation, their weddings, the birth of Their children, My oldest SSs says to if I have a daughter when I grow up can I name her after you?....I got teary eyed and said you can name your daughter anything you want. realizing that BM would flip out even then when they were adults. It may seem small to some but I really want my own kids. I want the experience of all of my hard work going towards something. I mean we have them full time during the school year and I do all of the school stuff because my DH is a little touched and slow if you know what I mean. But I've just been thinking about how I may not even be able to go to their graduation. This sucks, I just told my little sister to never date someone with kids this is my first experience and I would change EVERYTHING if I could!!!...

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Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:11am

I love my step kids too. And I ended up on this site because of conflicted feelings I was having.

I don't understand why you can't go to their graduations. Because you want to leave? If so, I understand that feeling because sometimes I feel I wont make it that far in their lives, to no fault of the kids. It's sickening.

Why can't you have your own kids?

momsome's picture

Submitted by momsome on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:18am

LOL...BM convinced my DH to get fixed because she didnt want him to have kids with anyone else, she did that then left him 2 months later!!...and I am not sure if I could handle the drama she sends us through and my own child. I know now just by having my Sks full custody that I would be an amazing mom. But I feel like I am wasting all of my time and patients on kids that are not mine, Its funny because they sometimes hate to share things with each other and I so badly want to say to them. Now do you see why I want my own children, so that I dont have to share with your mom!!..but I would never and will never I've never said anything bad to them about their mom and I never will.....I just feel so sad sometimes. I mean I love them to death. I even have the awesome title of mom and its been that way for years but the fact still remains that they are not my BIO children. I hate it and I feel like I am working a full time job with no pay no benefits and I am getting treated like crap the entire time

MommaSaSa's picture

Submitted by MommaSaSa on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 1:01am

I couldn't do this step parenting thing without my son. And those surgeries can be reversed?? Being a step and then having my own child are two completely different experiences. I love love love my step kids, but the love and bond that I share with the child I carried in my body and gave birth to doesn't even compare. My sister is a step mom and no bio kids, and she's happy with it. She doesn't know if she wants her own kids. But if you have a longing for it, it may not ever go away. I'm sorry to hear about the crap! :/

momsome's picture

Submitted by momsome on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 1:20am

the funny things is my DH says he would love to have a kid with me and that he wishes his Bio kids with BM were ours because of the family we have but yet I am getting older and I know that after a while it will be to late. I am just worried about bringing a child in my already stressful environment!!..I dont think I could take it so its proabably for the better. In the event I do plan on having kids I would prob have to leave my DH and find someone new...

momsome's picture

Submitted by momsome on Sat, 05/11/2013 - 12:38am

thanks@Lilypad. I had a talk with my soon to be DH and he FINALLY gets it she convinced him to get fixed so that he couldnt have any more then 9 months after they split she has another kid....Like she has him so snowed its not even funny@@@..he tells me he wants to have one with me and that he wishes his Bio kids were mine but I dont know how much of that I believe. Only because of prior comments of him only ever wanting 2 children!!....