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OT Happy Birthday to me :/

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 4:45pm

So, I guess I can vent h ere about this.  Today's my birthday.  As usual my Husband is out of town... in fact working where he doesn't even have much cell signal today.  He has had to be gone on my birthday for years.  On top of that, he is not a great gift planner.. and we have had some tight financial times so lots of years there just wasn't money to buy much.. and even if we did have money... he just sucks at buying gifts.  He is like this with everyone, I buy all the gifts for his family too..haha.

So, while I don't take it too personally, it is still just a bit depressing that I don't ever feel like I get celebrated much on my birthday. Yeah.. I get the typical facebook well wishes from a couple dozen old friends.. My brother included.. just sends a facebook HBD.  My mom is gone and my dad.. well, he usually just writes a check.  I mean, I get that money is useful and all but it really feels very impersonal and it doesn't even come with a card..lol.  This year....since I am having to write all my dad's bills.. I called yesterday to check in on something else and he is all offhand. "oh.. tomorrow's your birthday.. write yourself a check for X".  Gee Dad how festive.

My YSD has wished me a happy birthday..but to date no cards in the mail from anyone.  I'm sure I will get one from my MIL.. I guess.. I would have thought it would have arrived by now.. but whatever.  I pick out gifts for everyone.. make sure things get there on time. 

What do I get in return.. nada.  My DH supposedly did try to buy me something from Amazon.. but I have a feeling something went wrong with the purchase.  I have access to his account and I see a charge. but it has been in "pending" status for several days.  So, I know he tried.. but I don't think there is going to be anything there for me when I get home.  I feel bad because I'm disapointed.. but I don't want to make him feel bad for "failing" when he did at least try to get me something this year... but it still means I get to go home to an empty house on my birthday.. no calls.. no cards.. no presents..

Sorry... just a pity party kind of day....lol.

 

In other news, I was checking on my DH's account and realized that the "youth savings" that had been set up for his grandson now only has 15 dollars in it.  Turns out that OSD has been "borrowing" from her child's account.  The kid is 2.. and last christmas my DH opened it up with 100 dollars.. and she has now gone through almost all of it.  I know it wasn't a princely sum.. but that account was meant to be a start to a long time savings for the baby... Kind of pisses me off.  I'm also a bit pissed that she didn't send me a text wishing me a happy birthday.. I always make sure something gets sent to her.. in fact her child's birthday was YESTERDAY.. and she knows that he was born the day before my birthday because we have joked about it.  Sent the boy a nice little set of stuffed animals.. kind of annoyed that she couldn't send a text. 

Comments

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 5:04pm

Happy birthday and I can totally relate!

I knew my exH was terrible at gift buying. So I told him one year that I would really like him to just pick up a birthday cake for me. I didn't think that was too much to ask, but it was. The one time he DID pick out a birthday gift he got me -- I don't even know how to describe it -- a raunchy negligee maybe. That was a gift for HIM. Never wore it.

Hope you have a good celebration when your DH gets back home.

TexasPickles's picture

Submitted by TexasPickles on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 5:09pm

Happy birthday! Shoot. I wish we could all rent a limo, pick up a case of champagne (and Bradley Cooper) and head out for a fun night. 

In lieu of that...best birthday wishes to you!

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 5:09pm

Happy Birthday!

Mine is tomorrow and I have repeatedly told DH NOT to get me a gift. lol  We are going out to dinner at a fancy place, that's enough for me. I'd rather spend money fixing up our house or taking trips.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 5:17pm

Happy Birthday!!  And I really mean that.  It's not just a token saying because you posted about feeling ignored.

Birthdays, anniversaries, etc. have different meanings to all of us.  For some reason it's not a big deal to me - but that doesn't mean that I do not realize how big a deal it is to others.  One's feelings are one's feelings.

pixielady's picture

Submitted by pixielady on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 5:18pm

Thank you for all of your sound advice on this board!

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 5:23pm

I hope you do something for YOU! You have been there and rock solid for everyone else, and so many on here have recieved your advice and empathy, and understanding. I am sending you well wishes, and lots of good things for your future! Health Wealth and Happiness!

Pleasantry

Fed Up after 14 Years's picture

Submitted by Fed Up after 14... on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 5:37pm

Happy Birthday fellow Libra. Mine was yesterday. I hope you have many more birthdays and that next year you can spend it with the people that make you happy. Thanks for all the sage advice.

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 8:14pm

Happy Birthday!!! Also, I have pity parties most birthdays. Lol, They mean a lot to me too, and most years I end up so disappointed. My SO, bless his heart, has been trying his best to make them special. 

It just sucks to be overlooked.

Aunt Agatha's picture

Submitted by Aunt Agatha on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 8:53pm

You are an awesome person!  As others have said, you have great advice and are so kind on sharing it.

Here’s wishing you a fantastic year!

 

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 9:34pm

Well.... got home and there was a box on my doorstep.... it was a nice little gold bracelet. I think he overpaid...haha. but I wasnt totally skunked.  Oh and got a text from osd.. very soon as after talking to my dh...I'm sure a reminder was part of that lol

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 7:33am

That is great! I am so happy that he came through and it arrived just in time!!

 

I just tell everyone now that I hate my birthday and I don't want to celebrate it. I used to love birthday's.... I just got tired of being disappointed every year. My kids dad didn't do crap for 12 years, my 2nd H- while only together a total of 2 didn't do crap... DH tries but it seems like everyone else just lets me down on even simple things like a card or hug or even a freaking little cupcake! I don't know... I just figure it is easier if I have 0 expectations of everyone.

ntm's picture

Submitted by ntm on Thu, 10/18/2018 - 10:41pm

Open a savings account in your name in trust for the grandchild. Then the kid’s BM, your SD, can’t get her paws on the money. 

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 8:47am

Happy Belated Birthday ESMOD. My apologies for being a day late & a dollar short but please know that you are loved.

If possible as you stated that money can be tight.....can you treat yourself to something that you enjoy....whether its brunch, dinner, a nice cafe with your favorite coffee, a mani/pedi, etc. Treat yourself because you deserve it and its a blessing to be able to celebrate another year of life.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend, darling!

classyNJ's picture

Submitted by classyNJ on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 12:55pm

Happy Belated Birthday ESMOD!  

I"m happy that DH was able to bring a smile to your face and surprise you!  Enjoy your weekend ox

Major Blunder's picture

Submitted by Major Blunder on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 1:05pm

Happy day after your birthday ESMOD !  I totally missed this yesterday so please pardon my lateness, you're an awesome person hope the day turned out better than you expected, you deserve it !

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Fri, 10/19/2018 - 1:17pm

Oh... before I went home stopped by the liquor store and picked up margarita fixings... so I got to have a couple of frozen concoctions .  Turns out I forgot about dinner.... stale frozen pretzels... but hey the drinks made it better.  Lol. Thank you all for the positive messages and wishes. I also bought some scratch off tickets while buying some mega and power ball tickets. Won 10 dollers!