"sponsors"  They are always looking for sponsors

I honestly think EVERYONE (except for the couples who keep finances separate and live in separate houses) are looking to come up through a partnership 

Some are a little more ruthless and/or transactional than others but I believe ALL relationships in a capitalist society are based around securing additional resources you didn't have before  

If you ask the average American how many people they can provide for on ONE income .... most of them will tell you "it takes two incomes to keep one household running" (now I don't buy into this but many do) ... so majority of Americans (if they are honest with themselves) are seeking a partner who has monetary resources to contribute towards their desired lifestyle 

I mean it's nothing wrong with that IMO (as long as no one is sociopathic / predatory with it and both parties are in agreement upfront) because marriages have been "businesslike" arrangements for centuries in many cultures. 
 

*Ain't no woman in her right mind out here marrying Bob the homeless guy out of the kindness of her heart. 

**neither Love (nor eggplants) will pay these bills
 

***we are in a society that costs money to survive 

The divorced guy that gets taken to the cleaners by his ex.  May not be outright homeless.. but living in a crappy apartment.. or with his parents etc.. and sees being in a relationship with a woman as "oh.. we will pool our money.. and together we can afford to be in a better place than I am now"  Not saying it's "only" the housing that he is attracted to.. but certainly, the rush to move in to alleviate financial strain can be part of the problem.
 

THIS is why I will never marry a dude who cannot provide for at least himself first. And I never date freshly divorced men (who might be rebounding emotionally and financially)
 

$750k house? Looks good Bob but can you handle those $4000/month mortgage payment PLUS the upkeep, taxes, etc PLUS your child support?

If the answer is no then Bob has to keep it pushing. Bob ain't about to ride my coattails and use my pay check to finance his extravagant lifestyle. 
 

If you can't afford it single then you can't afford it if you were married. 
 

Let someone not have savings or disability insurance.....

One major accident or hospital bill away from financial ruin, bankruptcy, eviction all cause a man led you into a financial fantasy he couldn't afford. 
 

Keep playing and these closet male sugar babies will use your paycheck to help supplement / finance their luxury lifestyle AND subsidize their child support 

No and NO!

Thee Nurse with a Purse

The Walking Paycheck

Husband definitely "came up" when we got together. He actually was very honest in saying that he "could see that I had postential to do better for myself" because I had a degree and work experience. He was right. He credits himself for supporting me at a low point, and that is true.

He now is a homeowner and owns 3 boats, and a number of vehicles, 3 of them "classic". He goes fishing in Baja for tuna with his other lucky friends. We live near to the coast where homes have tripled in market prices. I feel like I pull more now, and hes pulling less, which is funny because we are now empty nesters.

Im working on myself more now, but with the new puppy, my energy has been diverted quite a bit.

Then there is my ex husband who despite living in a house with a duplex he rents out will not move in with his girlfriend of 10 years... Lol. The opposite of mooching you could say. I always assumed she'd move I to the opposite end of the house. 

I'm not sure that partnering is primarily finance/support/quality of life related.  Certainly in my various partnering experiences that was never a consideration.

IMHO most proposals are feeling related more than the are cerebral exercises or deeply considered decisions. That was certainly mostly the case in both of my marriages.  

In my case, I often consider that both of my marriages occurred at major transition points in my life.  Was I engaging in a marriage due to those changes?  Not consciously. But.... the preponderance of the evidence likely would support that premise. 

I married my XW as my family was going through a shift. Mom and dad were returning to their Expat career overseas, my younger brother was heading to boarding school.  By all indicators that may have been a decent partner choice. There were a few things that I questioned and my parents questioned regarding my XILs.  My hmmmm thing was when my XW went through a period of starting to smoke and getting a bit snarky before we became engaged. My parents pointed out that the lifestyle that my ILs lived was not commensurate with the income of a book keeper and a low level State government administrator.

XW turned out to have a dating problem throughout our blessedly short marriage and my XILs ended up being crooks.  XMIL ended up a convicted federal felon for embezzling $Millions from her long term employer.

I met my DW of 30 years just ofver3 years after my divorce was final.  We married nearly 4 years to the day after my divorce was final.  Also at a major transition point in the life of my family.  My brother had married my SIL 9mos earlier, my niece was born 5mos earlier, my brother and I had just graduated with our undergrad degrees together.   We had accepted jobs with the same company 3mos after DW and I met.  So, another major transition point in my life and the core Rags clan family dynamic.

Initiating a life partnership at a fairly young age when neither partner has a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of used to be a decent foundation for a quality partnership.  Historically in the greatest generation, the silent generation, and in the earlier phases of the Boomer generation that was primarily the model that a notable majority of marriage partnerships started with.  Interesting, as marriage age progressed, and more marriages became two career families, divorce rates initially increased until two income marriages normalized.

Recent studies indicate that two income marriages are currently more stable than single income marriages.

My mom and dad have had a very traditional marriage. Dad was the bread winner, mom was the SAHM home maker.  They have been married for 62 years.  They have an exceptionally close relationship.

My brother and my SIL have duplicated that model.  He is the earner.  I wish they had even remotely the quality of partnership that our mom  and dad have. They are approaching their 31st anniversary.  Their kids are doing great.

DW and I focused on education and career.   SS-32 is an only in our 30 year marriage. Comparison between my brother's marriage, and ours, I would say that the recent studies have merit.  Our marriage is very similar to that of my parents as an exceptionally close partnership.  My brother's, has been far more challenging regarding closeness of relationship.

As long as the relationship is a good one, you will always benefit, emotionally and financially.

If the guy living in the shitty apartment, paying rent and falling in love a woman who maybe lives in a shitty apartment as well, they can pool rent money together for an upgraded place and maybe each save a buck or two on top of it.

The freeloaders are a different story altogether though and they, unfortunately, come in all shapes, forms, and gender. 
 

In other words, one must be careful and I would always, especially in new relationships, keep finances separate and ask my partner to pitch in 50% for common housing expenses, etc.

For decades, needy single parents have sought out new partners to prop up their post-divorce lives. Be it money, parenting skills, emotional labor, or all three, they got away with it because there was no meaningful discussion of step dynamics. We were just fresh meat, naive and willing, and I'm glad people are more open about blended family realities today.

The more we raise awareness around the pros and cons of being a stepparent, the harder it will be to take advantage of us. I love that more younger people are advocating for themselves and asking "What's in this for me?"

I love this term. I learned it after dating a guy for just a few months who was an expert hobosexual. He was an incredible manipulator who appeared to have it all together but who, I learned, had nothing together. . .and the kind of person who leaves things at your house that will always need to be picked up after you end it. I put the stuff in my driveway.