I met my FDH while at a conference in another state. We struck up a conversation, and began to email each other a bit and quickly became long distance best friends. A few months later, he visited me, and then I visited him....yada, yada, yada...we started dating. After a few years dating long distance, seeing each other twice a month, hours of scrabble, and skype and meeting his kids a few times, I came down last summer to spend day to day time with him and his kids. (I have no children of my own) Needless to say, in August I quit my job (which I loved) left my family and friends and moved here to live with him. This is easily the scariest (possibly stupidest) most difficult but so far great and marvelous thing I've ever done. Restarting life at 40 with a man and his kids and his EX has been a roller coaster ride, and I don't know if I've really even left the station yet.

I am happy to be with him, and his kids have been pretty good about and to me, but the stuff with his ex-wife has been a huge pain in the ass. I never realized how hard an ex/BM can make life for the kids and us. Dealing with her controlling, bitter, angry, money hungry, Queen of the Martyrs crapola has been crazy and WAY HARDER than I ever imagined. I was also blissfully unaware of how much just the kids themselves and the nature of this new building family relationship thingie can be so very difficult. I'm so glad I found this site, as many of the crazy inner voice stuff that I think and feel can NOT be told to anyone...especially my FDH. The only thing worse than feeling all these mixed things, and being stuck trying to deal with and sort out this odd Step-World, is that I had begun to feel as if no one understood, and that I had noone to vent, discuss, bounce ideas off of...etc.

I am still new, and figuring my way around, but hope to make some friends, continue to gain insight, and maybe even have a bit of wisdom here and there for others.

Glad I found you peeps
Purp