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BM shows her true selfishness...AGAIN!!

Purple hope's picture

Submitted by Purple hope on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:03am

I'm just so angry, and as you all know there are few who understand these times, so I've chosen to vent to you lovely ladies n gents.

Future SS is turning 16. My bf and BM have agreement where they pay half of car and he pays half. We have found a pretty great car, and suddenly BM doesn't have any money for her 1/4 (like 500.00). I'm FURIoUs. What kind of mother doesn't even consider her child's wants n needs...and then talks and acts around town/family like she is the poor sweet perfect mother ....UgH. I'm used her not being able to afford to buy clothes, shoes, lunch, sports stuff...but ugh, she works, has a higher level education then I do, and makes money (not to mention ALL the support bf pays).

We found out about the no money for car thing recently, and then find out that she's flying out of town for a week. SERIOUSLY??

If she can feed her fat ugly ass, buy cigarettes, go out to bars and now take a trip....she could do things for her kids, she's just so selfish that she wont!!!

Any advise would be appreciated, however, I've already made a plan. I'm going to take some extra work and pay for part of the car...he's a good kid and deserves it, and is so appreciative when we do stuff. I will NOT let him suffer because of his POS mom.

It just amazes me that any mom...with means, could be so selfish and cruel, and I know they'll keep on loving her ...she's their mom...they should, but ugh!!!! She SO doesn't deserve it.

Rant/vent over, thanks to those who read. Wink

Purple

Comments

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:28am

I agree with tog (as always Wink )

I would add, if you really are going to step in and help, make sure that he knows you did and make sure that it is not something you will ever throw in his face or be resentful to your BF about. I think it's awfully generous!

Purple hope's picture

Submitted by Purple hope on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:35am

She says he doesn't do anything at her house, around here, I can't start a supper, shovel a step, or touch the trash or begin to pick up without him hopping up and helping. He does a ton here....really great kid.

Gabriels Mom's picture

Submitted by Gabriels Mom on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:26am

I agree. BM does this. She knows I will pick up the slack. Our BM is the opposite though. She barely passed HS and I have a college degree and an awesome job so she figures I can afford to take care of her son. I love SS but sometimes the money we have to put out for his stuff takes away from what I want to do for my son. BLAH!

Purple hope's picture

Submitted by Purple hope on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 11:33am

I thought about doing as you suggest, but she wont ever give any. I found him writing in his calendar last week, trying to figure out how he could make her part (over the next 6 months). I'm not going to make him do that. It's not his fault they got divorced, and it's not his fault she's a selfish POS. He's been working his tail off for over a year saving his money, and he's a great sweet kid, who is one of the most sincerely appreciative kids in the world....like he thanks me 5 times when I give him a simple ride or such (we thing BM makes a big deal about being put out, etc about EVERY little thing)

I just can't do it...I love him, and I'll make up the difference, and he'll always love his mother, but I will know that I did the right thing. He's figuring her out, and he appreciates me n loves me too, and it's not a competition, sometimes it's about just doing what the kid deserves.

I'm just so glad I have a place to vent ......stupid woman....grrrrr.

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 12:04pm

Sounds like he already knows how his Mother is and was trying to figure out how to buy it himself. The boy can't help who his Mother is though. When he is grown and independent, I bet he comes to the ones that were there for him and helped him out, instead of laying on the couch with BM like some of these other, my SS included, skids do.

I think it is great OP for you to step up and help. I would do the same for SD, bc SD wants to do something with her life and not be like BM.

Purple hope's picture

Submitted by Purple hope on Thu, 04/03/2014 - 1:04pm

I am a very grounded person, and know clearly that this is a want, but for him to work more hours it's also a need. His mom chastises him and makes him feel beholding for anything she does, including rides, and often refuses to take him places.

The more I think about it, I'm quite happy and excited that I can be a part of this. I don't have kids of my own, and never really thought I would even have the chance to be included in the joy and excitement that comes with a kids first car....and when he hugs me and thanks me, as I know he will, I am going to thank him for being so open and loving me, and accepting me as a second mom, and allowing me the opportunity to be glad to help him and share something he has dreamed and thought about for over a year now.

Maybe I'm crazy, but he's just a kid, a really good one...and I don't want him shoved in the middle of another stupid battle....not for a measly 500 bucks. When Mother's Day comes around, she may get the card and such, but when he's with me, our love and respect is mutual and THAT is what I want him to learn. She will let him down, and I will not....EVER...especially for the important stuff. To me, first car is a biggie.

I understand your point, but I'm proud of him, and just getting more sure of how lucky I am to be able to help and share this with a kid who is mine in more ways everyday.

Purple