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My BD is being bullied at her Dad's house by her Step Bro....

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 8:58am

My BD, 8 years old, called me...again....last night crying. Her step brother at her Dad's house had pinched her arm as hard as he could...this isn't the first time he has physically hurt her...it's not even the 20th time! This boy has punched her, kicked her, shoved her and sworn at her, he's only 7!!! I have spoken nicely, I have spoken strongly at least 4 times to my ex letting him know that this is unacceptable behaviour. He keeps telling me he will take care of it...it keeps happening. I have said that if I get one more phone call where our daughter is crying to me about crap happening at his house I will call Children's Services and ask to have her removed. The worst part is my daughter feels that her Dad doesn't have her back that he takes the boys side a lot, so that's why she calls me. I have talked to her about all sorts of ways to deal with this, ignore him, talk to your Dad about, scream and cry! Nothing is stopping this kid from hurting my daughter, and her father is hurting her by not being there for her. It was his night with her and she ended up coming to my house, and I calmed her down.

Luckily for everyone, the boy has been taken out of the country with his Mom for a month on vacation. So my daughter gets a break...we'll see what happens when he gets back... Sad

Comments

trytomakeitwork's picture

Submitted by trytomakeitwork on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 9:21am

She should not have to go through that at all. It does sound like he is taking the boy side a bit too much. His daughter should be as important. The dad has to do something to stop it if not then you will have no chose but to have her not go to his home you need to protect her but it is not easy. I have a 11yr old and sometime does not want to go to dads cause he freaks on her and he will blame you they always do just try and be strong we all have to be for our kids. Good luck.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 9:54am

I'm all for sticking up for oneself but I would not encourage you to teach your dd to resort to physical violence. We dont even know this kid-he could be the next mass murderer for all we know (dont mean to scare you)but it sounds as if he is a big bully and who is to say if she kicked him in the "nads" he might not wait until she is asleep that night and stab her? Again I dont mean to scare you-but kids are crazy these days.

I would start documenting if you havent already, includig taking pics of any bruises, keeping records of conversations with the dad where you've tried to address it-it sounds as if dad doesnt deny its happening-and then modify the visitation arrangement. Does the boy spend time at another parents? Can you daughter only visit dad when he's not there?

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 9:56am

Tell your daughter to fight back. Let her dad and SM know that if the kid hits her again, she has been instructed to knock the crap out of him.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 10:41am

I couldn't figure out why all of a sudden my YDD then 10 wanted to go to my mothers all the time. She was at my moms house the same weekends that SS who was 13 at the time was over. After about 2-3 months it comes out he was "mean" to her. He is about 100lbs heavier even at the time and about 8 inches taller. He was smart enough not to do it around his dad or me or my ODD. We had a blow up called him down on it and he says she hits me too..... I said hard enough to hurt. Yeah he says. I said has she left bruises? Well I never looked.

So hands off! Period

He went after Odd a couple years ago she took him down and is no longer a problem. However I would say he has an anger mgmt problem. He strikes his sister now 20 whenever mad. They used to get into fist fights all the time. BM ignored it.

Trach her to fight back. And tell ur dear EX that she is being instructed to be the last one standing.

Yme's picture

Submitted by Yme on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 11:59am

She should never be bullied! AND the BIGGEST bully there is HER OWN FATHER! Next crying phone call to you...call the police....you have tried to work this out....BD is the problem...DD should never have to defend herself in her own home! PERIOD
Email BD and let him know that the very next report of violence against your daughter will result in this...and make it clear that IF BD tries to prevent BD from calling about such attacks that you will involve the courts along with the police! You have good reason...BD is aware of the problem and is not stopping it or protecting HIS child (Child abuse in my books...endangerment...plus a boat load of psych abuse) Suggest that StepBro's BM get her abusive child some help before you are forced to bring public light to the abuse BD is allowing in his home.....and if you think it is warrented ask for BD to no longer see his daughter in the home with an abusive child...your daughters rights are being violated....end of story...if dd was living in your home with an abusive step and BD was getting these calls Im sure he wouldnt be laughing it off!

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 12:24pm

I just sent an email saying that if the boy hits my BD one more time I will be taking furhter action. I didn't specify exactly what I would do but it will be a call to Childrens Services asking her to be removed from his home. I told my ex that one day I might just teach my BD to use her knee on the kids groin. She won't do it, she's not that type of kid. Also as satisfying as it would be to hear she did do this I don't beleive teaching her to hit is the best answer....at least right now....

Unfreakingreal's picture

Submitted by Unfreakingreal on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 12:07pm

The first time your BD whacks her StepBro across the face with a big book (hard cover Harry Potter should do the trick), he'll never touch her again. Bullies need to be SHUT DOWN.