You are here

Hogger's Blog

I'm struggling....

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Tue, 04/24/2012 - 9:11am

I hate being a step mom. There I said it. Now I feel guilty. My SS is 11 and is not a horrible child, he is spoiled, a little passive agressive, lacks tons of self esteem but not an outright disrespectful child. I don't know what to do anymore...I can't help but compare his behaviour to my BD's. The relationship my BD (10) has with my SO is amazing, she really loves him and him her. She shows him affection, talks with him, likes spending time with him. All the things my SS does not do with me...I get Hi and Bye and the occasional question, I get nothing from this child.

What to do...

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 12:17pm

My SS (10) wants to play football. His Dad is supporting this and contacted the local football organization and got all the info. So Dad contacted BM....she is refusing to pay her share, which is only $150 (30%) for 6 months of playing! Dad even offered to pay it up front and just deduct $25 each month for 6 months from his support to make it easier on her. She still refuses. My SS is obese and needs the exercise and it's something he actually wants to do!! So frustrating.... There are so many benefits to playing on a team and she can't see past the end of her own nose.

How long and hard does a step-mom have to try.....???

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 11:52am

I have been a step-mom for 4.5 years...my SS is 10 now and still barely acknowledges me outside of what he has been told is expected, saying Hello and Goodbye. I am sure most of his attitude comes from loyalty to his bio Mom, I get that...but it still hurts. Especially when I feel, as most step-moms do, that if it weren't for me he wouldn't have half of what he does. Vacations, cottage in the summer to go to, decent healthy food in his belly, clean clothes etc....

Green eyed lazy monster

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Mon, 09/12/2011 - 1:52pm

Just because my SO and I both work full time and have money to go on trips doesn't mean were aren't doing everything we can for my SS. BM is so jealous because we have 'extra' money and she doesn't...maybe she should get a job! Stop sending nasty texts and whining to anyone who will listen about how we deprive my SS and spend all our money on ourselves. We are taking a family vacation soon and bringing my SS with us, his first trip! We are all very excited to go.

typical hypocritical behaviour....

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 10:19am

so my stepsons BM, has a new 'friend', she doesn't want us to know because if he eventually moves in this will directly affect her support. My fiance asked his son one day at dinner if this new 'friend' in Mom's life was her bf, all we got was he is Mom's friend. My fiance only asks this question in concern for his son's well being, BM's last boyfriend beat her up and caused some serious pscychological damage to my SS as he saw the end result. The next day we get a text message blasting us for asking about her life and that we have no right to know anything about her. Fine.

My BD is being bullied at her Dad's house by her Step Bro....

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Fri, 05/06/2011 - 8:58am

My BD, 8 years old, called me...again....last night crying. Her step brother at her Dad's house had pinched her arm as hard as he could...this isn't the first time he has physically hurt her...it's not even the 20th time! This boy has punched her, kicked her, shoved her and sworn at her, he's only 7!!! I have spoken nicely, I have spoken strongly at least 4 times to my ex letting him know that this is unacceptable behaviour. He keeps telling me he will take care of it...it keeps happening.

Passport and travel

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Mon, 03/07/2011 - 10:39am

My BF and I like to travel so in his separation agreement we specifically requested a paragraph relating to obtaining a passport and the notarized letter for travel needed when a parent takes a child out of the country. BM signed (FINALLY) the separation agreement (after 4 years) with this exact paragraph, so my BF asked her to sign the passport application for their son, she started screaming at him right in front their son and ripped up the application! So I photocopied the application 3 times and also photocopied the paragraph in the agreement 3 times and paper clipped them together.

Ready to call it quits....

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 10:43am

The BM might get her wish, I am ready to walk away from SS and BF! BM writes this long email saying how SS hates me and then tells stories of stuff that has happened at our house that SS has told her, with complete exaggeration of course! Apparently SS is going back to BM's after our time with him and tells her all sorts of stuff that happened...never the good things of course and BM twists around what she hears and puts a negative spin on everything! I am so sick of it! Almost 4 years of dealing with her and her BS!!!!

How to help obese SS???

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Wed, 02/23/2011 - 10:20am

We already knew that my SS was overweight, he had been diagnosed as obese 2 years ago by a pediatrician, we tried communicating this to his BM but it didn't sink in with her. Last night we had to measure his weight and height for a passport, he is 4'9" and 121 pounds! He is not even 10 years old yet! What can I do, we only have him about 25% of the time and his BM doesn't do anything active with him, he sits in his room either playing with his dinky cars or playing video games. He talks about how they eat wings all the time and those horrible salt infused lunchables.

Pages