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Do any of you worry about accusations?

tofurkey's picture

Any of you that have read my blogs have seen that I kind of stress over any future skid situations that may come up. I've been blind sided so many times and screwed over that I find myself constantly thinking about certain situations that could possibly arise and try to mentally prepare myself if they ever do so I don't feel like I'm going into a situation never having given it any thought previously.

I have read a few posts on here about skids and/or BM's accusing BM's of being abusive to either of them. Or just making accusations in general that can be very difficult to bounce back from. For people who have not yet dealt with this, or have and fear another backlash, do you worry about this kind of situation?

I know that SD is very influential and has listened to her mother's PAS in the past when it comes to me and that BM is a psycho heartless bitch that feels no level is too low for her to sink. I worry that at SD gets older and as BM continues to boil in her own hatefulness and self pity, that some sort of messed up situation like this will arise. What a scary thought! Obviously I have never and will never do anything to warrant any such accusations, but it's not like something actually has to be done to be accused of such. It's frightening how much power SD and BM have in that aspect..... If that doesn't deter me further from continuing to disengage, I don't know what does.

Comments

Rags's picture

I have never worried about the SpermClan's accusations. In fact I welcome them. This just gives me another opportunity to bare their idiot asses publically, in court and to my kid (SS).

If you do not do stupid vitriolic things to your SKids then you have nothing to fear from the accusations of toothless morons. Use your head, keep you cool and even if these types of accusations get some air time eventually they will fade and the truth will prevail.

Facts are not good or bad they are just facts. False accusations are just facts that ultimately point at the stupidity of those who make them.

And using the false accusations to bare the idiot asses of the blended family opposition is so much fun.

Learn to enjoy it.

tofurkey's picture

Rags, I do so enjoy opportunities that allow me to showcase what a dumbass BM is Smile She makes it allll to easy for me lol

tofurkey's picture

I totally agree with you that it's gotten beyond ludacris what people consider "abuse" these days. Especially with step situations, there is always a critical eye on you. ANY discipline of a skid seems to be deemed as "abuse." Maybe that's why there are so many brats because there is no consequence for their actions because people are too afraid to do anything!

sweethoney's picture

We went through that last month actually, When my H went in he talked to a detective and CPS wehn they were talking about everythin they started becoming pretty interested in what she did and it was dropped that day, although we never did figure out where the bruises came from. What we do now is drop him off at daycare, and they check him before we leave, we also keep a journal of her actions and past accusations to bring up if another case is opened, and a journal of what/if anything happens to him in our house. The main thing he did was she called him screaming two days after his son was here about him being abused so we sent the cops over to evaluate the situation and to make sure his son was ok. I would just constantly cover my butt and if she calls saying something about it I would get the situation checked out ASAP

tofurkey's picture

Ugh, I'm sorry that you guys had to go through that b.s.... I really don't know what is wrong with people nowadays

tofurkey's picture

Omg, I can't believe that BM got upset about you video taping him so you had proof of what was going on? Of course BM wasn't concerned or upset about him doing that or anything just placing the blame on you? Of course...

TheOtherMom's picture

I too have thought about some crazy things BM would bring up but that is why we keep a savings account so that we can take her to court when she falsely accuses me or DH. Then we will have her stripped of her rights completely.

Ziska's picture

Be prepared....my SS21 actually told people that he had sex with me and apparently so did his brother...woah, I am regular 2cents hoooooo....and he told the same people that his dad is an alcoholic abusive jerk who hits him all the time.....neither dad or I have ever laid a hand on this kid, neither dad or I have ever had any inappropriate relations with him or his brother for that matter....and his dad may have a casual cocktail every blue moom....so his STORIES when he is all drugged out and trying to get pity from people are ALL OUT THERE...be prepared!

hismineandours's picture

I've been thru it as well. SS loves to tell stories. He told bm 8 pages of stories about me. His counselor made him write down all the lies he told his poor mom and to apologize to HER. I never saw it, never had an apology. Most of the stories I am not sure, but she did tell my husband that she felt I was abusive and that she had to protect ss from me (although strangely enough within a few months she was calling and asking ME if I would take him for week-hell, no!)He told her that I used to lock him in his room all day until he pooped his pants and then me and the other children sat out in the other room and laughed at him. That's one of the few stories I know about. He has made up several to my face. He scratched his arm one time (in front of me) and then proceeded to pick the scab for a couple of weeks and when I commented that it looked pretty bad, he said, "I know that's where you grabbed my arm and scratched me". He used to tell his teachers that I refused to help him with his homework or sign his assignment book or that I refused to give him breakfast. Just all kinds of crazy stuff-could be much worse-but the unfortunate thing is that people believed him-he can be very convincing. Every year I had to "prove" myself to the school that I wasnt some wicked sm because of all the lies he would tell. Fortunately I had a dd in the same class and eventually they would ask her and she always told him that ss made it up. Dh's mom even started to believe poor, poor ss.
I interact with him as little as possible just in order to protect myself now. Noone likes stories being made up about them. I hope this doesnt happen to you.

mom2five's picture

I went through it. False allegations of sexual abuse. It was the most difficult two years of my life. It nearly destroyed my family and my marriage.

I wouldn't wish that kind of hell on my worst enemy.

tofurkey's picture

Snarky, I was thinking the same exact thing! I am really amazed by reading the posts on here how many terrible things have been done. The scary thing is that we don't have any protection! We are completely open to being used and abused. Maybe authorities should focus on people who are a real threat instead of running to the scapegoat every time!