What would you two fight about?
We all see on here what us and our DH/DW/SO fight mostly about things in regards to the blended family situation....
But if you werent in a step situation, and if you or he didn't have skids or Bio-parent drama, what would you fight about???
With me and DH we really don't argue that much. 90% of any bicker feast we have is in realtion to step b.s. So beyond that I think the thing we do spat with each other over is him leaving his dirty clothes randomly alllllll over the apartment. Socks on the chair, underwear in the bathroom floor, jeans in the bedroom, shirt by the front door. GAAAHHH! It drives me nuts!
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Hahaha, omg, here here!!! DH
Hahaha, omg, here here!!! DH decided to jump on and play a little of this war game while I warmed up dinner leftovers. I was like seriously? You ask me if we can eat right away, then jump on the x-box?
thank god DH doesn't play
thank god DH doesn't play video games and can't understand the big deal about them. the BF i had before DH was a gamer junkie. i hated that shit. on it all the time. that was my deal breaker. you can play your games all you want - I'm out!
I think just the usual
I think just the usual married folk stuff - I wonder if my SIL & MIL issues would be different if this wasn't a step situtation? That's really the only big thing we really argue about. The minor stuff would just be household chore stuff and how he leaves his dirty stuff in the sink every day for me to move to the dishwasher.
exactly! dh and i never
exactly! dh and i never fight about things other than shit relating to skids or some bullshit BM's trying to pull or wont do.
life is nothing but sunny skies and margaritas otherwise!
we don't argue about much but
we don't argue about much but when we do have our little spats it's usually about the fact that he leaves lights on in rooms even when he's done in the room and he ALWAYS leaves the damn tv on even when he isn't watching it.our last tiff was about the fact that he constantly forgets to set the alarm in the morning when he leaves for work and if i haven't gotten up yet for work i'm there with NO alarm on and i hate that so much.
the biggest blowup that happened was when i found out he gave sd the code to our house alarm.i was seeing red that day i was so upset with him.
Err, why not buy two alarm
Err, why not buy two alarm clocks?
alarm clocks? i'm not talking
alarm clocks? i'm not talking about alarm clocks. i was talking about our security system in our home.ya know,the kind that keeps bad guys from stealing your stuff
I thought she meant alarm
I thought she meant alarm clocks too and was thinking the same thing
I swear to God, EVERY single
I swear to God, EVERY single thing that we have ever argued about is directly related to his "baggage" we seriously don't fight about anything else... EVER! We might "disagree" about little things, but the get mad, speak your mind, don't talk to each other for a few hours after actual "fighting"? ONLY about BM and skids.
Which makes me despise them all the more... ugh
FDH can be a bit sarcastic
FDH can be a bit sarcastic and I sometimes take things the wrong way. It hurts my feelings and I have a hard time getting over it sometimes. That's what we fight about if it's not about the skids.
99% of all our spats are over
99% of all our spats are over ass gnats, mil & bm.
other than that, it's miscommunication (he swears he told me something and i swear he didn't & vice versa) ~ that's the main thing everything else is so minor i can't even think of an example.
We wouldn't fight about
We wouldn't fight about anything. We hardly fight now. All of our arguments are about the Skids the BM or the SIL & MIL.
we dont really fight about
we dont really fight about skid or bm or any family members, mostly miscommunication, or little things that he does/i do that drive each other crazy.
BM\XH\kids\skids is really
BM\XH\kids\skids is really all we argue about. Wait a minute, We argue about "I" don't give a damn about things.. Oh Yeah, that STILL always applies to BM\XH\kids\skids. So Thats all we EVER argue about!!!
Makes me wonder why so many
Makes me wonder why so many 1st marriages end? No step drama, no psycho money-grubbing BM- what DO you fight about?
Um, the money-grubbing wife?
Um, the money-grubbing wife? I know BF argued with BM about all sorts of things, but mostly money. She liked to spend a lot, but wanted him around more, which was kind of at odds with the fact that he had to work longer hours to pay for all the things she wanted to buy.
They just argued about a lot of weird things though. Christmas trees, for example. She liked the skinny little twig trees and he liked big fluffy-looking ones, so every year they would switch off, but it was always a point of contention. She also wanted him to be more flexible in how he dressed (BF pretty much only wears Wranglers or Carhartts and work boots). He didn't like some of her friends; she didn't like any of his friends. He got upset because she'd leave wet clothes in the washer for hours and he has a thing about the mildewy smell that produces, so she stopped doing his laundry. She made a lot of interesting dishes with squash and eggplant, but BF doesn't like that stuff, so they usually made separate dinners. They never cooked together or went to the store together. They interacted with the kids separately on most evenings (when he'd come home he'd play with the kids and she'd take a shower, then she'd cook and he'd shower, then she and kids would eat and he'd make his dinner, then she would watch tv while he put the kids to bed, etc.). It just wasn't functional on many levels.
I think many first marriages fall apart because the people have unrealistic expectations in the beginning, and then become hurt and resentful when those expectations go unfulfilled. That's my theory anyway.
We don't really argue about
We don't really argue about anything, including skids and BM. Mostly we just have little cold spells over silly miscommunications or insignificant annoyances (i.e. him making our stuffed animal kitty hiss at me and snuggle on him). We did once get into a real argument, and that was about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. BF was in the Marine Corps for 8 years and I majored in political science at a liberal college, so our perspectives are a wee bit different to say the least.
We don't really argue about
We don't really argue about anything, including skids and BM. Mostly we just have little cold spells over silly miscommunications or insignificant annoyances
+++++++++++++++++++++
Pretty much the same here.
I would agree. We don't argue
I would agree. We don't argue over day to day stuff. Our big blow outs are over his Ex wife and his kids in some way shape or form. Yeah he plays Madden Football a lot sometimes which does irritate at times but it isn't the biggest thorn in my side
I agree with Crayon, I saw a PBS special that indicated couples without kids are happier than most families with kids. i definitely can see that!
Whateva
Wouldn't it be nice to fight
Wouldn't it be nice to fight about those little things that are so small compared to what we put up with now? Think of all those first marriages who think fighting about money or dirty socks on the floor or who's turn it is to clean the bathroom or why MIL calls so often are such monumental issues. I would love to have "normal" fights in that way. I know its all relative. If I found out I had a horrible disease tomorrow, I wouldn't care so much about what a hypocritial bitch BM is either. It could always be better and always worse, and I guess we tend to focus on how bad things are until they get even worse and then we look back to the good old days.
You are so right with that.
You are so right with that. There is a woman I have been friends with for 22 years. We grew up together. She met a guy while she was in high school, they dated for about 6 years, then got married and just had a little girl after 2 years of marriage. When we get together to chat, I always get a bit jealous when she speaks of her "spats" with her husband. They argue about those little things that you mention. They are each other's first marriage and first kids, so she doesn't have any BM or skids to deal with. I know that if we weren't in a blended family situation there would be virtually no arguments between us. I want to just worry about dirty socks and dirty dishes and lights being left on and toilet seat being left up rather than child support, court appointments, random texts and nasty grams from bm, feeling like an outsider at MIL's, etc.
We don't fight about
We don't fight about skids...maybe once or twice ever....so in general not much would change. All of our arguments are about my DH's lack of a job, and lack of effective motivation in most everything...yet he wants wants wants and does very little. He often complains about the few things he does do. (his responsibilities include the dishes, feeding and taking out the dog, feeding the cat and maintaining the litter box, and shoveling the stairs and putting salt on them in the winter. THAT IS IT. I do everything and I mean EVERYTHING else plus I work full time.
In reference to why 1st
In reference to why 1st marriages end:
DH says BM refused to get a job, but wanted more, more, more!! He told her to get a job and help him, but she cried and did not get one. She demanded more...Nicer house, nicer things. etc.
She pitched a bitch over the nice things we have...House she wanted (which meant nicer house), new Mustang GT, and she made comments about all the nice things we have... Well she commented on the Car HE bought me, WTF lmao I'm the primary on that car.. Aw, she couldn't put food on the table!!!! Wel get an f'ing job!!! Unlike her I have worked 40+ hrs a week all my life. We do this together!!!
Anyway she gets $1200 a month for 2 kids in CS. STILL the situation is.. IF YOU WANT NICER THINGS GET A JOB, but hell NO!!! F/T + $1200 a month = nicer things and food on the table.
Oh they had bigger issues, but this one was mentioned above and stood out to me. More to come later after I drop my bios at school. I KNOW he was not perfect either.