SD carbon copy of BM?
Okay, please don't flame me I am being honest. If you guys have read any of my posts, you know that I really do not like my SD. Not for lack of trying, but I just can't bring myself to enjoy her company, or the idea of her for that matter. I'm never mean to her, i'm always respectable during visits, but while I smile on the outside during those visits, i'm gritting my teeth on the inside.
Ontop of the endless b.s., hurt, lies, betrayal, rediculousness that I have dealt with in regards to the skid situation, there is something else that makes it even harder to deal with. DH's daughter looks like an EXACT carbon copy of BM. Like, scary exact. SD is like a little BM mini me. I have never at any point in her life seen any resemblance of DH in her (even though paternity test has proven otherwise). Not only does she look like BM, she acts just like her: entitled, spoiled, bratty, impatient...Out of all the great traits DH possessed, I've never seen one come out of her. She has always looked just like her mother, but I have especially noticed this the last year or so. And her mother is not an attractive individual.....
It feels like I spend every other weekend with BM's former self, and I find myself having a hard time even looking at her for a prolonged period of time. When DH comments to SD how pretty she looks or how beautiful she is I cringe. Does anyone else have this issue and struggles to deal with it?
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It's true my SD looks almost
It's true my SD looks almost exactly her BM also. I also don't find our BM attractive... quite the opposite actually but so far (they're starting to turn) SD's eyes are the same as her dad's and so thus far THAT'S what I focus on. That and the fact that it's not SD's fault that she looks like her mother. I'm 50% Native American and so likewise MY biokids (ALL of them) resemble me more than they do their dad at all. I guess I figure it's a trade off. I get to live with BM's miniature, my kids' SM gets to live with mine... etc.
Honestly children change so much while they're growing anyway that she'll probably go back and forth in looks until she finally just looks like herself. Of course her daddy's going to think she's cute, pretty, adorable, beautiful... he was the one who chose to have a child with BM and so at least at some point he found BM attractive. Nothing wrong with that. My DH doesn't usually put me in the position of having to agree with him about SD's looks. Still she has moments every once in awhile where she'll make a certain face and look just like her dad and it's THOSE moments that I truly feel she shines.
You'll get as used to it as you can.
Oh I know it's not the kid's
Oh I know it's not the kid's fault. That's why I'm always decent when i'm at MIL's for skid visit. I just try to get through it, and if i find myself getting to the point where i can't hide my distaste, i go outside for a breather so no one sees. Dh doesn't ask me to agree with him. I mean let's face it, he's my husband I'm sure he has figured out how i feel. Although i know it does take two to make a kid, DH and BM were together for about a month during a very low point in his life. They had sex, she said she was on b.c., the condom broke, he found out she cheated on him they broke up and she called him after to say she was pregnant. He flat out told her he didn't want to have a kid with her, and she made the ultimate decision to have the child.
don't feel bad for feeling
don't feel bad for feeling the way you do.the last few times i've had the displeasure of having sd in my sight all i see is her stupid mother.the urge to grab her and smack her is nearly overwhelming so i have to walk quickly away!lol
Holy crap I never thought
Holy crap I never thought about SD growing to look like BM! Right now she looks like a little DH with long hair. I sure hope she doesn't turn into another Horseface!!
My SS has BM's mouth but
My SS has BM's mouth but everything else is DH. SD is a mini DH (minus the facial hair...lol!).
BM's always posts comments on SD's FB about how SD is so beautiful & gets her looks from her mama.
I can't imagine she truly believes her children resemble her in anything but attitude, but I think it's funny that BM makes such an effort to be convincing.
I truly believe if DH's skids looked like BM my eyeballs would bleed in their presence. (((SHUDDER))). They're both pretty easy on the eyes...until their mouths open.
Yes, SD4 look EXACLY like her
Yes, SD4 look EXACLY like her BM, down to the dimples... it scares me, and makes me sad because her BM is very pretty... and I am average.
What makes me ever MORE upset, is that my Skids are hispanic... I am scottish. They have very dark hair and features, I have very light hair, pale skin and blue eyes.
I have nothing against race, but when we go out there, it is painfully clear that I am in no means related to them, and the way that people treat me is noticable; like "you are not their mother, why are they with you" and "oh, she is JUST the step mother"
Its sad
i'm sorry you have to deal
My sd12 looks almost
My sd12 looks almost identical to BM, poor kid. It's hard sometimes to tell her she looks pretty when she's dressed up or something, because all I can see is her looking just like BM one of these days.