Am I wrong?
Today, SD15 is supposed to work the afternoon shift at her job, which starts at 1230 and goes until 530 in the evening. At 1210 she is still asleep in bed, so I go wake her up and tell her to get up and go to work. She grunts at me, gets up goes to the bathroom, heads back to her room like she is going to get read for work, then comes back and tells me she doesn't feel good today and doesn't want to go to work. I tell her that is fine, but that she needs to call her work and tell them that. She throws a hissy fit! Whining about how she doesn't want to do that, can't I do it for her? OMG! Grow up and stop acting like a 5 year old! I told her either she could call her work and tell them she can't come in today because she is sick or she can get herself dressed and go to work, those are her only two choices. She gets pissed of and gives me one of the dirtiest looks I have ever seen (she can do it, but I can't, apparently...wish DH would have been around to see it) and stomps over to the phone. I just don't understand what is so wrong with expecting her to make the call to her work to tell her boss that she is sick and can't come in to work? I mean, really, she's 15, I don't think it's going to kill her to take responsibilty for this. Am I wrong?
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Thanks. I think it is better
Thanks. I think it is better to let them know, period, than to just not show up. I refuse to have a child that is in any way associated with me act like a disrespectful pain in the ass. This is her job, it should be her responsibility to inform them when she isn't going to be there. That's not too much to ask of a 15 year old, I don't think.
I am trying to disengage, but
I am trying to disengage, but it's hard. She only has this week left before the work program she is in ends. I believe her that she doesn't feel like going in to work, but I think it is because she chose to stay up all night playing video games and skyping with her friends, and she probably didn't go to bed until the sun started coming up and 5 this morning. She actually has 2 alarm clocks in her room. I bought her an extra one last year when she kept not getting up in time to catch the bus for school, which caused me to have to get myself and two little ones ready and in the car to make the 45 minute round trip to the school and back at 7 in the morning. She is a monster, period. If anything happens that is not what she wants or she doesn't get her way, she becomes a ranting, fit throwing pain in the ass. She is spoiled and is not taking well to being forced to grow up a little and start taking some responsibility for things.
This is the reason I gave up
This is the reason I gave up helping my little brother with finding/keeping a job a few years back. He pulled this exact same stunt every week and, the place he worked gave him chance after chance and to make it easier for him put him down to one four hour shift a week (he was still in high school) and he STILL pulled this every week, and either I or my dad would have to call in for him (the place was a bowling alley and my dad bowled there once a week for years and I had worked full time there for a few years so they knew us both). When he inevitably quit the job, he got my dad to go there and tell them for him. He'll be 18 this year and hasn't found/wanted to find a job since.
So no, you're not asking for too much. It's common courtesy and responsibility.
Thanks. That's a lot of good
Thanks. That's a lot of good stuff to know...I'm going to have to pick that book up. I keep trying to disengage, but then I feel guilty towards DH for not helping him out...it's strange. I don't feel the slightest bit guilty towards SD15 for not doing things for her anymore. The only reason I even bothered trying to get her up and off to work today was because I was actually just trying to tell her I was leaving to take my kids out for the afternoon and found her still asleep in bed, 20 minutes before her shift was supposed to start, and it takes her 30 minutes to ride her bike to work. Honestly, if I had already been gone and come home and she was still asleep, I probably would have left it alone. I just need to stick to my guns and when I tell myself I'm not going to do things for her anymore, stick with it.
It sounds to me like you are
It sounds to me like you are holding SD accountable for her own actions. Just like a good parent should do.
That's exactly what I
That's exactly what I thought...she was just scared to have to deal with it herself, so make me call and be the one to get attitude or whatever. She is always talking about how she has this "phobia" of talking to people, but she can talk until she's blue in the face to her friends, and even to my friends, so I'm not buying that crap. She has got to learn to do for herself at some point, and I personally think she is being forced to learn to that a little late in the game because DH insists on babying her. Not me. I refuse to treat her like a little kid...she is 3 years away from being considered an adult...she needs to start learning how to act like one. What you said at the beginning of the post is exactly what I told her...this is her job, her responsibility, she can call in sick for herself, it's not my job to do that for her.
Thanks, ladies. I feel so
Thanks, ladies. I feel so much better knowing that I was in the right to handle the situation the way I did. I like to think I am a good parent and am trying to raise my skid and biokids the best I possibly can.