O/T But want your opinions
As I've blogged about before, DH got full sole custody of SD10 back in January. We have her enrolled in an out of district school, along with BD6 who is in Kindergarten. Yesterday when I was picking up the girls from school SD walks up to me and says "My friends mom wants to meet you" I said okay..eventually. A minute later her friend and mom walk up to me and say hello and we introduce ourselves. Then the mom says "The girls want to set something up so they can hang out." I'm polite and say thats a good idea, we can work something out sometime. The mom and her daughter, along with my step daughter start making plans as I'm watching for BD6 to get released from class. SD says that she would like to go over to her friends house tomorrow(today) and hang out. Fine with me, I've met the mom. Lastnight DH says "The little girls mom will come to our house to pick up SD at 3pm and I(DH)will get her after I'm off work. Make sure you get their address before you let SD leave with her." I said of course.
Today was an early release day for the school. 12:30. SD and her friend walk up to me and SD says "She has something to tell you" The little gil proceeds to tel me her mom changed her mind and she wants to come over to our house today."
Not cool, IMO. I was caught off guard and had to be the bad guy and say no. It' not like we're neighbors, we live 15-20 minutes away from the school, the mom doesn't even know where we live. Technically, it's a different city. On top of the that, We live in a petty small house. 3 bedrooms for 5 people, two dogs, no space, and SD has BS2 and BD6 here as well. And today, my house is messy. I don't like any ype of company when my house is not in order and clean. And we also have a very protective dog and it wouldn't be safe or fair for him to be locked ina room for however long.
I feel really crappy and I could tell SD was upset, but jeez. I feel it was rude to assume that would be okay. I think in a situation like this there needs to be some planning involved.
Am I wrong?
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Comments
Nah, I don't think you were
Nah, I don't think you were wrong. Sometimes you have to say no for a bigger yes. I don't like people/kids coming to my house when I'm not prepared either.
If the girls had been back
If the girls had been back and forth regularly, I wouldn't see a problem with it. As a first time, sudden change of plans, I think you're totally justified in saying no. Particularly if you had no contact from "Other Mom" saying it was ok for Friend to go to your house.
I am in constant shock at
I am in constant shock at parents who drop their kids off without knowing me or meeting me.
OMG - this one time - SD12 was 10, she invited a friend to come over for her birthday and a sleepover. We had never met this friend so DH told SD to give his info so he could talk to the mom. We heard nothing as to yes or no if the kid was coming. Then at 7pm there was a knock at the door, we open, here is this kid neither of us know as her 'parent' is pulling away from the curb - the kid wasn't even inside yet - she was there to sleep over - no notice, no phone call, no contact info nothing. Nice enough kid (OMG) but SD didn't even know her last name. The next day around 11AM (no clue when she was being picked up or ever where she lived) her grandmother comes to the door smelling like liquor and smoke - she rang the doorbell, when I opened the door all she said is, kid here? I said um yes and she said ok I'll be in the car, turned and left.
OMFG. I almost wanted to adopt that kid so we didn't have to send her back - holy hell.
WOW. Things are much
WOW. Things are much different then they used to be. We had a ton of kids in my neighborhood and everyone would be in and out of my house all day. Parents knew my mom and we all went to the same school. No big deal back then like it is today. You have to know where your kids are all the time and I think you should at least meet the parents. People don't care, I guess.
The mom should have gotten in
The mom should have gotten in contact with you. I would never send a message like that through a child. You did the right thing. If that were me, that situation would make me very nervous to send ss to their house.
I had a random woman show up
I had a random woman show up outside my door in pajamas...it was 8pm on a Friday. In tow, she had a dirty haired child holding a bag. Apparently, she was here to meet SO & I prior to letting her kid stay the night. Until I had the knock on the door, I had heard NOTHING about it.
It was a VERY strange situation & left SO & I feeling awkward...to say the least.
I don't think you're in the wrong. This woman just assuming that you were free is simply...not right.