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Hello new member, small problem

MercyMe's picture

Im new member, but not to the forum I have read on the forum for over two years just didnt really feel the need to post anything because my situation isn't as bad as most here. one of my problems is this. I have a SD who is 10, and I have a child from previous realationship who is 9, my husband and myself share one child. the delimma is this both girls know they have grandparents on the other bio parents side as well as our side k simple right. well not so. every time my child comes back from visiting her grandparents which she does more so with them then her father cuz he is deployed she comes back with things that they have bought for her. now our child between my husband and myself doesnt get upset, sure he likes to check stuff out and see what all she got and things but thats about it. but with my sd she makes this huge production sorta goes like this.

bd: want to see what all I got you can play with whatever
sd: No that stuff is stupid

( she is interested in only calling the stuff trash, stupid ect.)

but the moment she gets her hands on whatever it shall be she wants to try to break whatever it is just in spite. when my daughter takes it away she comes tattleing in a huff.

sd is always in the mode of saying such things as this:
Thats not fair she got that stuff and I didnt get anything. when I try to explain to her she has her own grandparent on her mothers side that gets her just as much stuff through out the year she will argue with me saying no she doesnt, but I know for a fact so cuz she most always brings to our house whatever her grandmother has ever brought her the only diffrence is her grandmother spreads buying her stuff through out the year where as my child will get lots of stuff at one time because she doesnt see them as often as sd see's hers. well that explination isnt good enough and she still says Not fair she always gets stuff and I dont.

Mean while I cant control what my dds bio dad's side of the family does and I wouldnt anyways I wouldnt dream of telling them not to buy my child somthing if they wanted.

All other grandparents treat kids the same that goes for my husbands, my parents.

what is some other ways to clear this up because when she does this sometimes I feel like saying I cant help that your mother is crap (because her mother never buys her anything its her father and myself and our side of the family who buy for this child, other then her bm's mother) but seriously I feel like telling her to just shut up and get over it, but thats just mean and Im not mean natured but I dont know what else to say.

Its like anything to whine about she's right there. I have never in my life met such a smart mouth, whinny kid in my life! this is just one small item on the list next post will be about additude because man sakes alive she has one bad additude ever since I have known her started at 5 and has gotten worse since.

so any other tips to clear somthing like this up, should I just say drop it get over it? or what?

Comments

stepkate's picture

I was interested in seeing what some other members had to say about this (I have no biokids, so I don't feel qualified to answer you).

I definitely see this issue coming up if I ever do have a biological child, because my parents have a lot more money than FSD10's 3 grandparents combined and my parents have no grandchildren yet to spend it on.

I think that I would just have to put my foot down (even if I have to do it over and over and over and over again) and just tell FSD10 (if she had a problem) that she has her own grandparents. I would definitely not try to talk my parents out of spending less on their grandchild.

Willow2010's picture

explain to her she has her own grandparent on her mothers side that gets her just as much stuff through out the year
&
Mean while I cant control what my dds bio dad's side of the family does and I wouldnt anyways I wouldnt dream of telling them not to buy my child somthing if they wanted.

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Actually I think you are doing the only thing you can in this situation. I would also thro that bottom line out at her also.

stepoff's picture

How about explaining it as it's not what or how many gifts she's gotten, but the time that she got to spend with her grandparents that matters. The gifts are secondary, the time is what's valuable, IMO. Then, when your other daughter visits with her grandparents and returns with a gift, point out to her that she DID get a gift and how nice it was for the grandparents to do that for her and then ask her to share like her sister shares. Kids are always going to argue over toys and gifts.