SS9 and SS11 are seeing a therapist - lots of reasons and some not related to each other.
As a result of the skids being in therapy, DH and I have to be in it too - conceptual to Family Therapy.
The thing is that lately, SS11 has been poking and prodding my nerves or maybe I have severe PMS. The therapist said that I overreact to SS11 because of the situation we are in - I haven't quite learned to accept my role as the mother of another woman's child or children and that I see SS11 as disloyal. Bigger problem is that SS11 perpetuates it because he is, in the words of the therapist, strangely manipulative for his age.
Well ... after some serious soul searching, I have concluded he is correct.
SS11's loyalty to his mother is absolutely maddening. He doesn't, nor ever wants to, see how terrible his life is when he is with BM. He fantasizes about it and blows it out of proportion - i.e. this summer he is going to see BM and they will go fishing and hunting and build a go cart. It's her father that does these things but he attaches it to his mother.
SS9 is totally the opposite. But I will save that for another blog.
So I get it. The kid idolizes his mother.
The problem with Steptalk, and I am a huge fan of this website, is that often times, BMs are SMs as well and many times, BMs don't like or love their skids as they do their own. TO EACH HIS OWN. But I hate venting something and then someone attacks you - EVEN THOUGH IT IS YOUR BLOG - because you get angry at a BM or the skid.
In my case, I will say that I am fed up with SS11s loyalty to his mother. It is not earned. It is warped. It is delusional and I feel like I am failing somewhere because he has this unreal image of a woman and I refuse to talk bad about her (around any of the skids) so how can he ever find out what she is truly made of?
GRRRRRR.