Feeling Like I Have Been Framed
At therapy yesterday, DH attended with SS9.
This was one of those ones that makes us flip and I am glad I didn't go because DH is far less emotional than me - sometimes I think HE has Asperger's and that is where SS9 got it.
Anyway, SS9 and SS11 have both told the therapist that they love me and know I am "mom" but have a hard time separating the issues from me and their mom. For example, SS11 will yell at me for not being there for him, when I really was there for him but he transfers onto me what BM doesn't do. Does that make sense? Or SS9 will tell me that I wanted him to be a girl, but that was BM not me so again he transfers. In time I am sure they will sort it out. DH hasn't told either skid the whole truth because he doesn't think they will understand, which he is probably right.
I just get fed up with being the punching bag for someone else's wrongs! Persecute ME for MY FAULTS not hers!
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wow, that is really tough!
wow, that is really tough! Have you thought about taking up therapy due to it as well? I know I would have a hard time handling all of that by myself with out some one out side to vent to
The therapist the skids see
The therapist the skids see is a family therapist, but his focus is on SS9 and trying to figure out why he is the way he is.
The guy is nice and helpful but sometimes I feel like he is feeding me cracker jacks box stuff.
At what age does DH think
At what age does DH think that the skids should know the truth - if you wait much longer they are going to just end up hating you. At 11 and 9 they are old enough to know that it is not you that was not there for them or wants them to be a girl - when my SS was 8 - Dh and his ex were sleeping in different rooms and Dh would get up early and go into the main bedroom to make it look like he was still sleeping in there one day SS said "Dad I know you sleep in the guest room so you don't have to get up early for me" kids know a lot more than they let on - so I think the time is now that they need to know the truth and really who was there for them and that was you!!!
What does the therapist say about this when it happens - this kids are old enough to know that you love them and that you are there for them. Why let them idolize the BM and make her out to be the good guy?!?!?!!?
I agree with you but
I agree with you but sometimes kids don't understand the dynamics and emotions behind something.
For example, the therapist said one of the reasons SS9 hates his half brother isn't because his half brother gets attention from BM but because he knows that his half brother is a combination of BM and BM's BF ... he doesn't like the BF. He is loyal to DH and I don't think SS9 knows that BM left DH for her BF.
So. I think you have some thing there. I will ask the therapist his opinion too. Thanks.