Hi there thanks for reply. I never had kids but took 4 under our roof all teenagers yep it could be he'll but sometimes was good. I did struggle with things but the three who have left he I believe I have fine relationships with. The one who never lived with us made many attempts to do so but I have resisted. However he remains out of control, of late after a drug fuelled evening his friend attacked him and he was stabbed, I don't know if I believe his version needless to say this cause a lot of upset, but I supported my wife through it, her son tried to capatlise on events and she funded his move to a new apartment I wasn't consulted at all this was the second such funded move in a year. he still refuses to work. In respect of visits he insists his mother comes and gets him once a week to bring him here for dinner.

Sorry why r u the evil stepmother?

Thank u so much for the responses. In respect of the other 3 who live away it is fine and I really believe that, when we were under the same roof it was pretty up and down but by and large it was normal stuff. One does stil here, 21 yo and he has big issues, suffers from real low self esteem, some of it I swear is coz older as bulied him and still trys, it has been hard for this as too to hold down a job and that has caused my wife and me probs too. Of late (and I didn't plan to mention this yet) I found him smoking drugs in our house this was after twice sitting and talking about how i think drugs don't help him, and I don't want this iny home, this has been ignored and once again causes friction with me and my wife. Sorry sounds like a rite sob story and I guess I made my bed! Other more problamatic ss has been here tnite all the normal stuff trying to get stuff, rude behaviour I just cringe and it gets to the point where I just don't want to see him here

Can I apologise for some awful spelling here I am typing on my phone. One other thought before I say goodnight, after a while it is hard not to let even the little things bother me, I would do anything to support my three other step kids but I find resentment at the thought of fining anything to the problem one, it wasn't always like that, last year I got him into rehab but it's all gone backwards since the stabbing. Thanks for listening

Thank u for all the advice I am taking it in and feel more decisive. Can I ask what peoples thoughts are about this issue, 21ss who I have mentioned has for the last couple of years become problematic albeit I appreciate self esteem issues are At the heart of things I have there to try and guide, but we have had him walking out on jobs. Despite having some overheads and owing us a lot of money after bailing him out. Hia input to our household in all ways is zero and of late we had the drugs issue. One thing on my mind is the issue of people in our house, when he was younger of course I understood the saftey element but as time has gone on I expected this to decrease, but it hasn't. By people round I really mean all day and sometimes nite. Generally he does keep activity to his room but this cam still be disturbing especially late evening as I have to get up early. During a couple of long term relationshis I have noticed that.al he will do is be with his gf in his room (yes I do appreciate some aspects of that) but all the leads me to think this is bit insular. I have tried a moderate stance and asked that people visit every other day, this has been ignored. My wife doesn't have a problem with any of this. Of late his gf has her own place but still spends much time here, tonight he has asked if she can stay and I indicated this really didn't suit me, needless to say this has caused tension, am mad to feel like this?