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Drugs in the house

kapes1's picture

Dear all. Ss 21yo I have again found drugs in his room. After very patchy employment history he has started a new job. Within days has once more gone sick. Something he has lied to cover up. His mother said I should give benefit of doubt so I did, but then found his discarded bus ticket proving he wasn't at work I haven't approached him but have suggested we guide him to rehab or something,this doesn't seem too well recieved, whatshould I do?

Comments

momatwittsend's picture

I have gone threw this. My BS 18 is a recovering addict. You name the drug he used it.

First question is what kind of drugs was he using? Was he using alot everyday, he may need detox before rehab. I know here in canada, you can get a court ordered detox, where the keep them for 6 days no matter what. Usually when they have a clear head you can get them into rehab alot easier.

I would start by contacting addiction services. I'm sure there is something along those lines in your local phone book. Being that your SS is 21, you probably don't have any legal action that you can take, but they should be able to help you.

kapes1's picture

Hi there thank u for your response I'm in the uk so I'm unsure where I would stand with the law. I am awarey that he smokes grass and have sat several times and talked about it with him, I have said that I cannot stop him but I don't think he is helping himself, I have asked that this not haem in our house though. The smoking seems to go hand in hand with other issues, he often vomits if he has to leave the house, his relationships have suffered as well as his many jobs and he has bad debts.

happy's picture

I to have been here and still deal with some of this.
I don't know the right answer because being a tough love parent is how I am. I can tell you that last night I went to a counselor with my husband to get our marriage back on track, and the couselor asked me about my ss why the issue is what it is. I told him the fights with ss and what he said to me, counselor told my husband point blank you let him speak to her that way? husband said yes but he was on drugs? Counselor looked at him and told him I don't care what the issue was he should have been out? Making excuses for him is not right.
Now I can tell you if you ss is puking you might want to see if he is on Oxycotin because that is what my ss was addicted to and it does make you voomit and sick to your stomach. MHO- is this you can't make him get help he is of legal age but you can stop enabling him which is letting him live in your home. By stopping that it may be the push he needs to straighten up but then again it could make him fall further, but he is already falling further and so either way I think he would fall whether you say you have to move or you continue to let him live there. Does that make sense? It is hard as parent/stepparent to sit back and watch them throw there lives away.
I hope that you find the answers you need...

Happy
"live life to its fullest everyday"

momatwittsend's picture

I agree with happy. I'm the tough love parent, and it would be out on your ear for you buddy.

I would still look at addiction services, you never know if you can get court ordered detox. They have no choice but to stay in detox, because they are a hazard to themselves or others.

DISbelief's picture

He is an adult... kick him out. Letting him live there with you and allowing this behavior to take place is only enabling him. Offer rehab as an option. But stayin there in your home while using should not be an option. If he refuses, then let him figure it out on his own. I know, it is so easy for us to say... but if tough love were EASY, they would call it something else...

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

Jeans222's picture

I agree with disbeielf above, kick hiom out and stop enabling him. He should not be able to stay there anymore if he has done this.