I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

without informing your b.f. of the very crucial information you have discovered already. This child is 12!!!! Often children having sex this early in life are looking for love. Somewhere along the way this little girl has felt unwanted and unloved and having sex is they way she feels like she will be accepted and loved. Of course, as adults we KNOW sex does not equal love, but children's lives are dominated by the messages they recieve from others, parents, teachers, friends, and those messages determine how they see themselves. This young lady has low self esteem( which is obvious by the other actions you have listed above) and is playing a very dangerous game in an attempt to fill in the emptiness she has inside. I would be very honest with b.f. about this, even showing him the diary so he can see the evidence himself. I would discuss with him that right now this child does not need anger, harsh words, but she needs understanding, she needs her dad's and even your love, she needs counseling to better understand that she needs to love herself for who she is inside and out. To say nothing would be doing this child a great disservice.

Look for different color bracelets and different color nail polish that she and her friend wear. My SD's mom is a school psychologist and she told me they are referred to the 'rainbow girls'. pretty much the color of the bracelet or nail polish determines what the girls do sexually.

I agree that you do need to tell DH what you've found out. 12 years old?!?! That is scary.... I have an almost 11 year DD and if my FH found out that she was having sex, I would most certainly want him to tell me. I don't know how you're going to break this news to him but be gentle...

I agree that you need to talk to your DH and show him the diary. Although I am typically against that kind of violation of "personal space" this situation is much more serious than who she has a crush on.

When I was in school to become a teacher, I had a pregnant 12 year old in my 7th grade class. It broke my heart and I decided I didn't want to teach middle school after that. It happens more than we think and I fear your SD is on this life altering path already.

I have 2 SD's 15 and almost 13 and I would tell DH IMMEDIATELY if I ever found out something like this. My DH is pretty oblivious to things too, but this is something he needs to see and deal with.

I hope you all can present a united front and like Sebby said, get her some counseling.

That's most likely falling under the statutory rape laws. A 12 year old girl has NO idea the true consequences of having sex. Not just of the chances of STDs or pregnancy, but the emotional damage she is doing to herself that will most likely affect her later on in life. That just breaks my heart on so many levels.