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My own fault

Struggling stepmum's picture

Submitted by Struggling stepmum on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 10:50pm

Been a while. Since I last posted my H has been diagnosed with BPD, he has got me arrested for the boppit incident and completely destroyed my reputation in our not very big town. On the plus side I received only a caution due to the provocation. And I managed to get an interim custody order due to his mental health issues which means I get to stay in my home and he's not allowed to come near it. All temporary but it has given me some breathing space. I have been having a lot of counselling g hours. And am learning how I aided this situation. By reacting in anyway I fed the madness. The one time I hit him was my turning point. I was made to feel like a deliberate abuser. The counselling has made me see that I need to change my thinking as I will react like that again if hurt. Because that is what the abuse cycle does to you when you get sucked in. Anyway thanks for all your advice, I did take notice and I did do something. Thanks

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Struggling stepmum's picture

Submitted by Struggling stepmum on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 11:39pm

Thank you all. My own Behaviour I have. It excused but his i can at least have some understanding for

SteelRose's picture

Submitted by SteelRose on Wed, 09/04/2013 - 9:10am

My xh has BPD and got me arrested and I lost custody of my kids and my home. It's good they saw through all of it before you lost everything b/c the judge did not see through everything before I lost everything. I had to get a job after being a sahm for 15 yrs and then after the house sold which my xh had to sell per our divorce agreement but he got to keep it for 2 years, I took money and hired the best attorney in town and got full custody of my kids!

Now 5 years later both DH and I have full custody of our kids and our exes are alcoholics and alone. hmmmmmm says a lot hey?

Keep doing what you are doing and stay steady and don't feel guilty or take the blame. You are doing marvelously!

nothinforya's picture

Submitted by nothinforya on Wed, 09/04/2013 - 2:42pm

I had a nutjob BF some years ago who made me so crazy that I beat him with my sandal until the strap broke when he wouldn't get out of my house. I almost got arrested. It's a scary place to be to get that angry at someone. He was dangerous because he could push me that far. Now, my DH and I never exchange a cross word. So hang in there, there are kind sweet men out there who would never hurt you.