Sad and frustrating weekend
We got an irate call from BM following visitation. She proceeded to yell at Hubby for all the horrible things he did this weekend: ignoring his children, making them slave away on chores the whole time, not letting them call HER when they wanted to, and getting into a big fight with me right in front of them which ended up with us sleeping in separate beds. :jawdrop:
I couldn't help but laugh at first. There wasn't the tiniest shred of truth in any of it. Hubby told her that her complaints weren't even worth commenting on. That enraged her, of course. This was my favorite moment of the whole weekend:
Hubby: None of any of that is true.
BM: Are you calling our girls liars?
Hubby: Well, if they told you any of that, they are lying. I've told you about this before.
BM: Told me what?
Hubby: That every time you call me with some outragious accusation it is something that never happened, but you never believe me.
BM: Why would I believe you over my girls. I have taught them to never lie to me, and they never would!
Hubby: Fine, you want the truth? SD14 was stuck to my side the whole weekend. She would even push SD12 out of the way. We played all weekend and I let them pick the activities. They had a blast and want to go again. They wanted to call you and ask to stay all Sunday with us too, but you had already made plans for them so I said no, which led to a meltdown by SD14. They didn't do a single chore because our house was clean. And SoFrustrated and I never fought. In fact, SD14 got mad at us and told us to stop being so happy and hugging all the time because it makes her want to barf.
BM: ~makes a lot of blustery noises and makes no sense
Hubby: So if you want to figure out why they felt like they couldn't tell you about a wonderful weekend, maybe you should look at yourself.
She hung up on him. It was classic.
So it was sad and frustrating because even though we overall had a great time (with the occasional meltdown - they are teenagers after all), the girls are telling horrible lies to BM about us. We don't trust them, and it makes it so that we don't look forward to their visits as much as we used to.
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^^^this^^^^
^^^this^^^^
Have you asked the kids why
Have you asked the kids why they say this stuff?
We've talked about bringing
We've talked about bringing it up but it never seems like the right time and Hubby doesn't want to force this issue. I wan't to force it, but Hubby is scared to. However, whenever they tell us something about BM that we have trouble believing Hubby will say "ok, I'm going to call BM and get this straightened out" and they backtrack pretty quickly. We've made some comments that Hubby and BM talk about the visits and "share information" and SD14 seems to get upset at the idea. The incidence of this happening will lessen, but then another month or so later we'll get another irate email of phone call. Same old stuff.
Honestly, I think they are trying to make their mother feel better. Even though BM is married with a baby on the way, I think it still makes her happy to hear bad things about Hubby. I think the girls have picked up on this and say whatever they think they can to make her happy. I know BM believes that the skids can only have fun with her, so they help her with this illusion to keep her happy.
I've deleted all my previous blogs from years past, but this truly is a dysfunctional family over there. BM's side of the family is like a cult. Their family (the whole lot of them) is perfect and Godly, and everyone else is fatally flawed and sinful. They never tell lies, or steal, or do anything that Jesus would not. And if they do make a "mistake", they can easily explain it away as someone else's fault. Oh, and the rest of us are Satan in disguise.
My s/sons once went home and
My s/sons once went home and told their mother I was unreasonable and bossing their father around and making up rules.
What I said was "No hats at the dinner table esp. ball caps. We are not Jewish and no one has any other religious reason to wear one." I also admonished OSS16 " Please, do not eat your mashed potatoes and gravy with a teaspoon like a baby. Use a fork and knife like an adult. You want to be treated like one? Behave like one."
She emailed DH 1x and told him I am not to raise her sons and I am being stupid with my rules.
He emailed her back and ripped her a new one. How the rules stick and they are not debilitating or harmful. In face the kids may end up with better table manners than they had before (Which REALLY pissed her off). Since then she has never spoken to me more than 5 wrds. Ice maiden ruleth her own little kingdom.