In a moment of weakness I asked DH what would change if I stayed because I wanted to stay. I guess Im a gluten for punishment. He said he didn't want to change now and that it was better if I just left now. He is out riding his motorcycle, BM picked SS up earlier for the night. Thought Id give you an update. I am packing and drinking. I hope I get more packing done then drinking done, lol. WTF? I guess I know for sure now.

So I think just about everyone knows about my SS's behavior. DH finally broke down and told BM that SS was bad (the porn ordeal). But DH refuses to tell her anything else. Hopefully I will be in my new apartment soon and I want to call BM and talk to her about SS's behaviors and explain that he really needs help. I know she knows SS needs help but since DH has hid all of SS's issues over the years, she has NO CLUE what has been going on with him. It is not a bash SS session, I really do want this child to get some help, he really needs it.

I cried on the way home from work. I needed to and it felt good. I composed myself and got out of the car and walked up to the door. DH was on the poarch, I just to cry again, so I rushed into the house, laid on the bed and let go. Gosh it felt so good. Anyway, DH came in and said he wanted to talk. He wants to know why I am so upset and why I worry what is going to happen since we aren't together. I told him that I love him and that Im hurting. He went on to say that he called BM and told her to tell her mother to leave his wife alone.

I open my email this morning to find an email from BM's Mom. They are usually on the outs so she will communicate with SS through me if she isn't getting along with BM. Now BM and her Mom are getting along. DH said that BM's Mom asked about me at pick up in front of her daughter. What kind of crap is that? And now she writes this. I think its weird. Im already an emotional wreck, I don't need this crap. And why would she automatically assume its because of SS10?