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In my moment of weakness

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:42pm

In a moment of weakness I asked DH what would change if I stayed because I wanted to stay. I guess Im a gluten for punishment. He said he didn't want to change now and that it was better if I just left now. He is out riding his motorcycle, BM picked SS up earlier for the night. Thought Id give you an update. I am packing and drinking. I hope I get more packing done then drinking done, lol. WTF? I guess I know for sure now.

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starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:47pm

OH NO!!!! i'm drinking, too...... was he being an ass, b/c he new you were at a low point or do you think a trial separation may do you good?? and getting back together is a possibility??

i'm so sorry, how painful......

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:47pm

I try to put a lol behind what I write because it makes me feel like Im ok. Im not ok. I can't even see past my tears. I cant believe I put myself out there again. I just gotta get out of here. I hate that my dog will no longer have a yard or windows to look out of (his favorite thing to do). I hate it. I am so glad I don't have to go through this with a child, I am barely making it through this feeling so guilty about my dog. I am just so upset.

HaveHadIt's picture

Submitted by HaveHadIt on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 7:02pm

Pantera, I went through a similiar situation a few years back. My main concern was my little dog (no bio kids for me). I found that once I moved, my little dog was happier than he ever had been! No yelling or arguing, it was peaceful just him and I. I was in a much better state of mind, which put him in a much better state of mind. Dogs don't care about windows and yards. They just want to be with you. When you're happy, they're happy. Don't feel guilty about your doggie. He's the one thing that will be there to help you no matter what. He'll get his window and yard back again someday. Until then, just let him be your little buddy and therapist. And, I promise, he will never hold a grudge against you for making your life and his better.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 8:21pm

Thank you for that. I am hoping thats the case. My mom and stepdad keep telling me the same thing.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:55pm

no no no!! your sweet pups will help you dry the tears.... and once you get over the pain, you will find and have a bigger and better home..

i'm not trying to downplay what you are going thru, but if it's over it's over and congrats on the beginning of your new whole happy life! you're not happy now, so F it why stay? loneliness is a terrible feeling, but you won't be lonely for long. as soon as you realize how much you have to offer and how much you deserve, things will improve..... scoop up that rebound guy ASAP, it will work wonders for you!! think about all this shit you no longer have to put up with and the productive things you can do..

i'm here for ya..... stay strong sista!

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 7:01pm

OMG this is really not funny but it is. Rebound guy? You have scared the shit out of me. I don't remember how to date or to have sex for that matter!!! I only know what DH likes!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!

But in all seriousness, thank you for posting. I know it will be better, it just sucks now.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:57pm

3 drunks and the web, should get very interesting ~ especially if that starfish (and others) tracking troll attacks me...

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 7:07pm

Cheers & good nite......

so you're out of practice, rebound guy won't care...... and he will be so much more into you and make you feel so special and ooooh lala hopefully.... ya know how all the new stuff is....

i know it's not funny, but it's better to laugh than cry.... you look so much better the next day after a night of laughing than crying......

HaveHadIt's picture

Submitted by HaveHadIt on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 7:11pm

Yeah, good thing BM doesn't have a cell phone. There'd be some drunk texing happening tonight, FOR SURE! LOL

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 8:25pm

}:) I should just have sex with him and leave tomorrow. I can use him like he used me...Did I just say that, maybe I should put the alcohol down, lol.

In all seriousness, I have been laughing at the whole thing. I can't believe what an ass he is. I actually told him "no wonder your child is a headcase with parents like you and BM", I know, not nice but it felt good and I was sober then!!!

I think I will cry the night I move out, after that Im sure Ill be fine.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 9:00pm

ok. super nasty... turn him on and let him eat the thang to your satisfaction and go to sleep..

violetforest's picture

Submitted by violetforest on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 9:30pm

Been there and done that. and rethinking the idea again. sorry you are going through this, it is never easy even if it is our choice.