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Why Now?

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 2:11pm

Last night was a rough night at home. I got emotional and DH got in my path and I went off (meaning I told him how I felt about everything, although I would have rather punched him, lol). I also went off on Monday night and he tried to hug me and give me a kiss but I shrugged him off. He's been apologizing since Monday about how he and his son have treated me. I am more angry than hurt now and I think thats what I need. Anyway, I texted him this morning that I would definitely be out by the 1st, hopefully earlier and that I wanted to give him a heads up so he could have his finances in order. He called me to ask me to go away with him tomorrow night, just us 2. WTF? Why now? He wouldn't even take me out at all during the last 3 years of our relationship, now all of a sudden I deserve a break? Because you know I am leaving for sure? I just don't get it. He couldn't even do something like that for our anniversary, so why now? For 3 weeks he's been acting like he doesn't care and basically telling me that he doesn't care. So now that Im not crying and wanting to talk, NOW you want to talk? It doesn't make sense. It makes me more confused, hurt, and upset. This isn't for me. I don't deserve this crap.

Comments

lifeisshort's picture

Submitted by lifeisshort on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 2:16pm

Wow Pantera. I'm so sorry for you.
Personally, I think you should take him up on the offer to go out and look him in the eyes and ask him those very questions.
You deserve better.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 2:22pm

I'm sorry for you & the situation you're in. It sucks for you to have to be in a home you know you're leaving. It sucks for you to be in a home where your husband knows you're leaving, & it sucks that you can't just go now so you can go ahead & begin to move on with your life. I've been there, & it was so hard to go home knowing my EH would be there trying to convince me to stay. It was sad to know that I had a fresh start ahead of me, & that it felt so far away. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 3:09pm

I just wish this apartment would be ready. It is so hard going "home". They are playing perfect family and I am the outsider even more. It eats at me.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 3:25pm

I know. When I was at that point with my ex, I got stuck in traffic on the interstate for 3 1/2 hours. I was never so glad to be held up. You know, it's one thing to actually be alone & feel alone. It was so hard to be sitting next to the person who vowed to love me & cherish me & still feel so alone. I would go in the bedroom & close the door & sit in there for the evening wishing the time would just pass. It makes me so sad for you to remember those feelings. (((hugs)))

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 2:31pm

I am sorry you are hurting. If it were me, I would go and use the opportunity to vent at him for everything. It may give you some closure you may need in the next few months. Men are stupid and don't realize what they have until it is gone. He sounds like he may be waking up. But, it is usually short lived.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 3:07pm

It does sound like he is realizing what happened but I feel its a little late to be finally realizing. And Im scared that if I stay it will never change and 9 months down the road I will be ready to leave again. Our household is not healthy for any of us.

rcphotographer07's picture

Submitted by rcphotographer07 on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 5:00pm

happen to me before... several times.. really more than several. had enough and told hubby i am in the wit end. and im tired and tired and your 7 year old brat daughter driving me insane and never listen to me and such and you giving her easy punishment.. and i dont want to have my 2 year old daughter around your bratty daughter. and plan to file divorce and he stopped me and said. dont go i love you so much and want to be with you rest of my life. i said.. why now and you never done anything like this and you kept doing your way and not our way. 50-50... and i dont knwo what to do and i got all things done and plan to move out. and he said.. im sorry and i love you and i will change and make it for better. pfft.. will see.. if again. IM OUTTA HERE!

mommylove's picture

Submitted by mommylove on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 5:29pm

" You're right - you will be thinking about leaving in another 9 months if you decide to stay now. You'd just be putting off the inevitable."

Funny, this is EXACTLY the sentiment at the end of my second marital counseling session with H today.