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Letter to the wife - Long long read - Still tweaking

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Submitted by MSloan86 on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 12:10pm

Im writing this to try and get some of my thoughts down so I can try and get some feelings and thoughts across without allowing interruptions or emotions distract me from what I am trying to say.
I expect this will be somewhat of a wandering letter as I jump all over the place. Ill try and keep it somewhat coherent but sometimes I cant even get my feelings squared away for myself.

Latest ramblings, and therapist gave DW both barrels today

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Submitted by MSloan86 on Tue, 02/17/2009 - 3:15pm

Ive read many blogs with people with problems that seem so much worse then mine. There are frustrations with steps and husbands or wives, but many, not all, still are fighting through it because of the love they have for DH/DW? I keep wondering why my wife is staying. Maybe because she knows Im a good dad to BD? How happy can she be?

I want to address things with DW and feel we could do some good, but she cant admit that SD is doing anything wrong. She deflects all my attempts making excuses for her, or pointing out a flaw in me.

State of the disfuncional union

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Submitted by MSloan86 on Thu, 02/12/2009 - 1:59pm

My current state for those who have read my blogs. I got a couple messages wondering how I was doing or if I would be doing an update. I started to a few times but never got through them. Thanks to those who expressed interest and concern.

Another likely long and rambling stream of consciousness to follow.

We have at least discussed guilt parenting in therapy. I wanted to go to a couples session each week rather than every other week, but my wife and I are both seeing a counselor individually. Over $200/mo in co-pays and I cant handle more right now.

I'm getting a bit nervous about today’s counseling session

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Submitted by MSloan86 on Mon, 02/02/2009 - 1:21pm

I'm getting a bit nervous about today’s counseling session. My plan is to begin to direct the sessions around the relationship between myself, DW, and SD13. The sessions focus has been on and off that topic. The counselor wants us to try to strengthen my wife and I as a couple, but SD is going to end us.

New beginning or the beginning of the end

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Submitted by MSloan86 on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 12:39pm

I can’t seem to write these things without getting so long winded and wound up in the process so I am trying to keep this short.

After almost having a total stress melt down I spoke with my wife. I asked her if she loved me and actually wanted things to work. She was relieved at my question as she said she was expecting me to say I was fed up and wanted a divorce. She thought that's why I was so obviously stressed and depressed recently. I let her know that I wondered if she was trying to push me into exactly that, but I do not want a divorce.

ramblings - I think Im done, just not prepared

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Submitted by MSloan86 on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 9:55am

I wanted to get to the Spring. Nicer weather, maybe that helps lift moods. If nothing else it’s a better time to put the house on the market.
Now I don’t know how to get through the week. I really feel like there is nothing left between my wife and me anymore.
We went out to dinner on Sunday, partially because we are trying to go on ‘dates’ at the advise of our counselor. It was also for my Bday which was this week.
We went to dinner, she looked nice and I thought we had a nice time. Time was limited with BD2 being watched by my MIL.

Hope seemslost after latest session. Long, and likely unintelligable

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Submitted by MSloan86 on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 12:20pm

DW and I had a counseling session today and I now feel less hope than ever. Without dropping bombs about SDs bad behavior the session did stay focused on the two of us. We have no real relationship with each other as a couple. There is no US. Counselor asked what I wanted and I said I want her to let me back in emotionally. She has pretty much shut me out. I said I didn’t think she realized she has shut me out so completely. She then admitted that yes she has and she knows it. Hi, welcome to the party, thanks got joining us!

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