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I feel SO bad for BM's S/O

Mrs. Why's picture

This poor guy stepped into a nutso situation, and really has done (from what we can tell on the outside), the best he can. Yes, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, but I KNOW what it has taken for me to deal with skids and BM, and that's just on the outside. He came into this, with no idea, they got prego and BAM insta-family....

I kept thinking, man, did this chick get lucky TWICE!!!! First my DH, then this guy. She loves to be the martyr, and never takes responsibility for her own actions.

Even skids have gotten to the point (after her latest bashing campaign), of seeing her as full of shit.

Now, she has done to her "second" family, pretty much what she did with DH and skids.... (Im SURE she will also blame SO for this time too!!!)

It's just so sad!!!!

I guess I feel as if he and I can identify with one another. The kids are not easy, they CONSTANTLY are needy, disobedient, disrespectful, argumentitive, poor grades, refuse to be responsible or even clean up after themselves, mouthy..... sweet kids, not "bad" perse, just SO MUCH WORK!!!!!

To watch another human stick out what I have, try to put a smile on his face....and end up with a pile of shit for it, just makes me feel bad for him. I cannot imagine another child and another dad going through what we have been through.

Comments

tryingmom's picture

I once asked DH WTF these men see in BM, no response.

Not attractive, manipulative, has two kids who are out of control when with her, not responsible for anything, has no money, no job, no prospects and finds men who are not always the sharpest knives in the drawers but not bad guys. What does she bring to the table? DH tells me she uses sex (shudder at that thought) to get them and then shuts it off when she gets married. I don't see the draw.

Her newest victim is a nice guy, seems to be a good Dad to his own kids, really tries hard with the skids (no easy task), and you can see that he is manipulated by BM. I feel sad for him because I know where he is going to end up. BM and GBM are President and VP of their local chapter of the man haters club. BM will emasculate him at any given chance after they are married and will PAS the skids with him also. (BM needs EVERYONE on her side) BM is a liar, who knows the stories she has told the new BF, but if like the last husband I am sure we are the devil's sister and brother. Everything was our fault.

After meeting the new BF/Fiancé I asked DH if he ever wanted to warn the poor guy. DH told me that maybe this guy will be different. I had to laugh, they are all different but BM is the same, she will ruin another one.

Mrs. Why's picture

How many has she had???? I understand being the devils brother and sister hahahahahaha, BM told everyone we had an affair, even though we didn't start talking for a year after she kicked him out (cause he busted her for screwing around and she was pissed she got caught, needless to say, 1 month after she kicked DH out, the other dude was living with her. Playing house with skids and everything), and AFTER she served him divorce papers.... She even told skids this. Too bad for her, I downloaded a copy of her divorce filing date, and also my hubby's first email..... I have proof for skids when they old enough Smile

DH wanted to warn this guy, but if ur BM is a liar etc it will just make DH look stupid. The guy will find out on his own. Our BMs SO totally looks at us now like, "OMG I can't believe i believed this woman" and he totally feels bad for us too lol

Good luck with yours! I do t know what it is about being a BM, the loss of control? They are nuts

crushed step-mom's picture

Our BM remarried a year ago it would seem to a nice and stable guy. However, he has 3 adult daughters that are starting to marry now and one just had a very expensive wedding last week that I am am sure daddy had to pay half of. I get a giggle out of that because when my oldest SD decided to get married a couple of years ago....our BM snuck around and told her there was no money for her to have a wedding and suggested the court house. However, old crooked BM had her nice catered wedding and the white wedding dress and all the trimmings!
However, no matter what BM does ...SK's freaking kiss her @$$ and make excuses for her.
BM's new husband had no idea what he was in for with these kids and now he has all 4 of her kids living with them and her 2 grand-kids. I bet he is thinking he did not sign up for this! hahaha
I love it!

HungryEyes's picture

I sometimes feel bad for BMs fiancé. I think that he's the type to stick it out. Hopefully BM will do the same. At least give SDs a chance at stability. They seem super in love to the point of obsession so I don't know if that's healthy or not. But life got so much easier when he came along so I can't say anything bad about the guy other than what a sucker!!

Mrs. Why's picture

Lol, we feel the same way, PLEASE WORK IT OUT!!!! Maybe he is a sucker, but if he doesn't know any better, maybe his ignorance can be his bliss???

DaizyDuke's picture

I feel bad for BM2 soon to be hubby. I have no idea what 38 year old BM did to snare a 21 year old into her web??? I mean what in God's name is the attraction? Yes, BM is cute but that's as far as it goes... she belongs to a weird religious cult thingy that she is obsessed with, she's a PT waitress, never had a "career", has 2 illegitimate kids, one (not DH's) who is sitting his ass in jail right now, and she's a bitch.

My best guess is the guy only has one nut or something that makes him undesirable to chicks his own age, or maybe some type of "mommy" issue?? Whatever the case, I will bet money that this unholy union won't last long and this poor guy will have wasted some what should be the best years of his life with miss skanky pants and her loser kids. oh well, live and learn.

crushed step-mom's picture

Our BM stole her new hubby, she worked for him many years ago and during that time my SK's came to me with letters their BM had hidden under her bed stating the love she had for her boss and they were having an affair. They were suppose to wait until the last one of this 3 daughters started college (my guess to avoid CS) he saw how much BM received from my DH most likely! :jawdrop:
However, he lost his job before that happened so suddenly he disappeared until around 3 years ago and he reappears and they are now engaged and suprise he is now divorced and he has one daughter graduated from college and the other two are in college. They had a fairy tale wedding and now a year later his daughters want nothing to do with BM because they kinda figured out what she did. Karma is a biotch BM!!!!!! You have been nipping in my SK's ears for years about me and DH and causing problems. Blum 3

misSTEP's picture

BM's DH was/is in for a rude awakening. His ex-wife is sane. She lets him have his kids more than the CO states and she has never taken him back for an increase in CS in the 8 years they have been divorced.

I am not sure how much of the situation with BM and my DH he knows about. I'm sure she has spun it to where she is the VICTIM, like usual. Probably NO mention at ALL about her lack of parenting, lack of working and lack of cooking....as well as her being the town bicycle when she was with DH.

He is going to be so screwed if they break up. He will not only have to pay her CS, he will have to pay ALIMONY as well. Poor guy. I'm sure she will wait at least until his kids (her skids) are out on their own so their CS doesn't interfere with hers! She's smart like that.

According to my MIL, they were already fighting like cats and dogs. And that was BEFORE she got preggo again and they got married! That's all she knows. Pure dysfunction.

misSTEP's picture

The scary part for our BM is that she has been in and out of different counselors since she was a CHILD.

misSTEP's picture

She didn't have a choice when she was a child. It got so bad that her parents sent her across the country to live with her aunt and uncle for a while.

Not sure why they let her come back! It's not like she got any better!! LOL

Mrs. Why's picture

And he still thought it was a good idea to be with her =\ some men are just suckers for a sob story!!!

Ps, I really like ur quote!

Tuff Noogies's picture

i have no empathy for dumbass' 2nd ExH or her current SO. they were both 'in the chute' when whatever current relationship at the time was falling apart. and now skids tell us they're going on vacation next week w/ ExH#2... and not current SO who she shacks up with most of the time. ExH#2 is just as dumb as dumbass. and SO shoulda seen it coming too as they started together when she was still married to and living w/ ExH#2. stupid stupid stupid. nope, no empathy whatsoever.

Mrs. Why's picture

Is she good at hiding and manipulation? Ours is, she plays real awesome till she doesn't get her way with something, then everyone must pay.... If someone seen this ish coming and chose it anyway, youre right no sympathy lol

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I don't feel sorry for BM's DH at all. He's a putz. She owns him. She actually convinced the guy to move across the country to be with her and be a "family" her and the skids........while leaving his own child behind. He sees his own kid once a year now for two weeks. Awesome. I don't care how much she's claims he's a "wonderful father" to the skids. He's a shitty one to his own kid.

Mrs. Why's picture

That is sooooooo sad, DH and I have wanted to move for several years, but he just wont leave the kids. It's not right.