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Resisting buying gifts for the skids.... anyone else battling with themselves?

Pook's picture

Submitted by Pook on Thu, 11/15/2012 - 1:03pm

I have read a number of posts regarding who is buying the xmas gifts for whom this year. Well, after joining this site months ago, I decided to disengage. My situation is a bit different in that neither of the SDs live with us anymore, for a variety of reasons. However, their birthdays and Christmas are around the corner and.... you guessed it, I always bought the gifts.

I told DH a couple months ago that I needed to pull away from it all, including buying the gifts. He was completely fine with it. Now I am struggling with wanting to resist jumping into the fray again and go shopping or make suggestions (which I have) and get on him with "so, what are you planning on getting for the birthdays/xmas?"

This is crazy!

He is fine with it... but I am arguing with myself, trying to control my controlling behaviour!

Have any other disengaged SMs out there dealt with this battle of the self?

Comments

Pook's picture

Submitted by Pook on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 1:45pm

Smile That is great advice! Okay, every time I see something I am tempted to buy for skids, I will take that money I would have spent, go to my happy place in my head, and buy myself some imaginary treats... .walk away with a fuller wallet and a little mental break!

Pinki3663's picture

Submitted by Pinki3663 on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 4:36am

I bought the Skids gifts this Xmas. Last year my SO "handled" it and it was a complete disaster. He spent incredibly too much on both Skids AND they only got one gift each. I say he spent too much only because the kids have zero respect for what he bought them. I have not once seen the gift that was given to SD9 and recently found out it's because she lost the charger a week after getting it and it is now sitting in a junk drawer at BM's. SS13 at the very least didn't break or lose anything from his gift, but he did specifically ask for it and has never really used it.

So this year I set a low spending limit and they get what I want to get them and I don't really care if it's not what they asked for. I think all kids are selfish when it comes to Xmas and these two will just have to deal with it.

Hopingforthebest's picture

Submitted by Hopingforthebest on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:23am

I can relate I told myself last year that I want going to and at the last minute I went out and spent $200 a piece on one item that they really wanted and was mad at myself for it afterward for caving .... this year I have been good so far though did get a couple stocking stuffers .... When they point out stuff they want I remind them to make sure they show dad too
It's hard and I know how u feel....

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Sun, 11/18/2012 - 2:22pm

it's not a battle for me! Christmas 08 was IT for me. fdh was unemployed, i was working my ass off at a 3rd shift job and taking care of a 9 month old baby at the same time. i dealt with the crowded mall (i despise crowds) and spent a LOT of money buying sd then 16 exactly what her snooty ass asked for. what does she say as she's unwrapping all these expensive clothes from name brand stores? "why did you get me a bunch of awkward sizes?" little bitch. she had some things in medium, some in small, depending on where i bought them, so to her, that was "awkward". i was instantly livid. that was day one of disengagement for me. i haven't bought that thankless bitch a damn thing since, and i don't feel bad about it at all! and to top it off, these gifts that i got criticized for, fdh was thanked profusely for, even though I did the shopping and I spent the money on them.