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Little Type Amy's Blog

Christmas Eve

Little Type Amy's picture

This was something I had mentioned in a comment but thought I'd elaborate now that the day has come and gone, so might be time for an update..

I dont know why I get so nervous and anxious before having to go to MIL/ DH's aunts for Christmas Eve, knowing that its more than likely that SD was physically a no show once again as per usual.  Thats the thing, knowing that there is always a possibility that these Skids are out there and capable of turning up. Someway. Somehow. bullshit in tow.

Merry Xmas to You All!

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In case I dont get a chance to pop in here later on, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and as a peaceful SKID free day as you can possibly get.  I truly feel for all who are forced to deal with their SKIDS or have t hem or other In Laws as houseguests, etc. 

While this year, those pressures are more or less off for me ( so far!..still time for the possibility of SD30 to present that in some way), but that doesnt mean I havent done my time in the trenches, so I get it. 

Manipulation Wrapped in a Bow

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Sharing some insight while researching for myself. MY SD30  has shown some of these per my experience with her, ,,even though she is more a covert narcissist, Some of the signs are there, I thought this might also apply to some of your SKIDS and BM's especially since its Christmas.. To be clear my SD hasnt given me a gift in years, IF she did, these signs would apply. These same indications are likely to come out if I had gone out of my way to give her one..not just for Christmas, ,,but has occured if I ever showed her one crumb of kindness...

Broken People

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Been saving some FB post and reels mainly self help stuff advising on setting boundaries with toxic narcissitic folks. I guess social media is good for something. 

The bottom line is clear across the board: We are all dealing with some majorly F@#$ed up People and its not our job to heal them.

Opinions

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Noticed alot of discussion around struggling with any meddling relatives  or anyone's assumptions about what the role of SM is "supposed to be."  Especially to those who have chosen the disengagment route. 

Do you ( still)  struggle with worrying about how you are perceived by anyone on DH's side over your decision? or OVer your feelings about your stepspawns?  

SD cant let it go

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I normally don't read DH's texts, but his phone went off while he was mowing the lawn. I rarely pay attention, but thought it was it might have been an emergency about my MIL or somethig urgent. I happened to see it was a text from SD29 still begging how she wishes Amy would "grow with her"  and feel differently about her. This was from the same person who begged me to get close and move forward...only to end up blocking me Mid conversation on FB ( im still blocked( once I clearly said that i have no issue being polite and civiil, but was uncomfortable going any further.

Hindsight

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Looking back in Hindsight about lots of things, especially StepLife, it shouldnt be so surprising how some things actually start to make sense and the pieces come together.  This being one of them: Once you realize that these toxic SKIDS ( BM.s etc) dont have any REAL problems with you. They just want some Attention!  Thats why they still manage to have some kind of reason to be upset with you even though you havent done anythning to them or barely speak to them.

Have I lost it?

Little Type Amy's picture

Has anyone reached the point in which you find that just about every little thing having to do with the SKIDS just instantly irritates you? Am I being that irrational? Especially over something as trivial as getting a phone call from SD29 to my MIL during our 4th of July gathering with her, DH and my parents who have gotten along famously with my inlaws.

We hadnt gotten together like this in months and finally got it organized. Damn well we deserve to enjoy ourselves for so much as ONE day ( which we did once she left us alone)  without SD having to make something about her

Let Them!!!

Little Type Amy's picture

Just passing along some quotes for now. Definitely rings true and holds up when facing challenged in StepWorld ( and in other aspects of life too) ....

 

"They might hate you.

They might hate you when you stand up for yourself.

They might hate you when you speak up.

They might hate you for stepping back.

Even if you do it graciously.

Even if you do it kindly.

Even if you do it with love.

They might hate when you create some healthy boundaries. They might hate you for not being who they want you to be.

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