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Decision Not Easy to make...

Little Type Amy's picture

Submitted by Little Type Amy on Thu, 08/08/2024 - 1:54pm

This is kind of piggy backing off my last blog, but saw this quote and feels we all need this today to keep this in mind just as much as I do; . It is so true and definiitely applies to StepHell IMO; 

" When someone chooses to end a relationship with a family member ( can apply to other types of relationship)  It is not  an Easy Decison or based on one thing. Often the relationship has ended after many rounds of forigveness and trying to make the relationship work. When you encounter someone who has decided to let go of a relationship that disturbed their peace, caused them Emotional or Mental Stress, offer them Grace instead of Your Opinion"

We all know that SPs have encountered many instances where we were offered anything but Grace and Understanding due to our struggles. 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 08/08/2024 - 2:22pm

I am dealing with this and wish people would understand that this is not a hasty decision - it has literally been decades reaching it. All I get is pushback to forgive, etc. Another thing people fail to realize is that forgiving someone does not mean they have a place in your future.

Little Type Amy's picture

Submitted by Little Type Amy on Thu, 08/08/2024 - 2:58pm

Amen to that which is exactly what I have been saying about Forgiveness.  I am the type of person who has never taken a choice such as this lightly. at all. It usually takes a hell of a lot for me to even take cutting off anyone into consideration, let alone actually taking the scissors to finish the job. Not made in haste by a long shot ! Just because I can act in a forgiving matter towards someone, does not automatically mean that I was to take up with them again.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 08/09/2024 - 7:19am

Exactly! Toxic people rarely change. While they might not be toxic to everyone, they are toxic to me and that's unacceptable. 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sat, 08/10/2024 - 8:40am

This type of relationship.  We forgave theatre past mistakes,  try to understand there screw up relationship of the past. Told we will never be number one '''fir the kids''''.  We start in the relationship in a bad spot .

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 08/20/2024 - 12:52am

I am all for forgiveness. If... the one I am forgiving earns that forgiveness constantly forever. If they fail to earn it at any point on the forever continuum, they will suffer instantly from that point going forward until they re-earn my forgiveness.

Forgiveness is only permanent if it is continuously earned IMHO.

Far too many think that forgiveness is a one and done thing and for some reason blame the one victimized by the toxic for not forgiving the toxic.

Nope. Not in my world.

Nea

IMHO, turning the other cheek is to load up for a full haymaker sucker punch to the nose of the one perpetrating the toxicity that so many think should be forgiven.  Figuratively of course.

Dirol